To ask if you have ever called anyone out on their behaviour?

[Fairyliz]

There are often threads when posters are complaining about the bad behaviour of friends/family/colleagues etc. The general consensus is that you should say something at the time in a firm but polite manner.

However has anyone ever done this and got the result that they wanted i.e. an apology/change in behaviour?
In my experience people who behave badly don't take well to these sort of comments and get aggressive/rude/cry etc?
So anyone got any stories of when it has actually worked or is it simply better to avoid these people?

Yes but that's because I'm a teacher!

The opposite - someone called me out on my shitty behaviour. Was the wake up call I needed to see that I was very depressed and lashing out as a result. I apologised and got help, recovered.

Yes, I have.

I can think of one example recently where I told my family and a family friend to stop gossiping about someone else in the family.

Colleagues? Well, surely if it’s work related you must have to do it sometimes? Everyone corrects each other at my work! Nobody takes the hump. We’re quite a busy working environment, so rarely have chance to get huffy or personal.

A colleague of mine did get pulled up for her terrible behaviour on a work night out as well. She absolutely needed it. And her contract didn’t get renewed which was sad for her, but considering her behaviour it was kind of obvious that it was going to happen!

When I wanted to cut a friendship I emailed her and told her why. Would have done face to face but I never saw her without her dc.

Yes, frequently.

The specific examples are tedious but in general people are very surprised when you do. They’re usually a bit taken aback and react defensively but in general they leave me alone after that. Which is all I’m after anyway.

I usually open with a very clear and confrontational question but not rudely.

‘Is there a reason you age always so grumpy?’

‘Do you hate coming to work?’

‘Why is my magazine habit annoying you?’ (A particularly odd one from an awful girl I went to university with.)

You can usually deal with it from there - it’s starting the conversation that’s tricky.

I had a deeply problematic and irritating set of housemates who were dating each other. I'd call them out, and if they were together they'd lash out at me, if they were alone they'd be much more accepting and respectful. Absolutely bizarre! 😂