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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if all 3/4 yos constantly ask for new toys

35 replies

Lalalamb · 23/08/2018 15:03

I'd really appreciate some perspective here please:

My DS is just 4.

For about 3-4 four months now, he's been getting increasingly 'I want' about toys (esp things he sees on dreaded YouTube videos of children unpacking and 'reviewing' new toys).

It make me sad because I don't want this to be his preoccupation. It's affecting outings as he is always hankering for the gift shop.

Is this a phase or have I/we created a spoilt child?

OP posts:

DillyDilly · 23/08/2018 15:05

Simple solution is to not allow him look at YouTube videos. (Or bring him into toy-shops or allow him to watch tv channels with lots of adverts).

JasmineByTheSea · 23/08/2018 15:05

I agree with Dilly. Stop letting him watch YouTube.

DieAntword · 23/08/2018 15:07

Don’t let him watch toy unboxing, they’re just adverts. Cant tell you about normality or otherwise because my eldest son is much younger but those videos are evil. A child that age has no resistance to marketing.

Justmuddlingalong · 23/08/2018 15:07

He will only continue wanting stuff if his demands are met. Block YouTube and say no.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 23/08/2018 15:07

DD1 is 3y7m and no, doesn't do this. She is never allowed to watch conteny like that though.

Can the tablet get "broken" for a bit?

Thesearmsofmine · 23/08/2018 15:07

Turn YouTube off! I always see people talking about those kinds of videos and how their children are obsessed with them and want the toys but they only see them because a parent lets them.

Hisnamesblaine · 23/08/2018 15:08

Mines the same. Have no solution. I'm guilty of letting him watch Ryan's toy review etc on YouTube. But I dare say they would be the same even if they didn't watch these programmes. Every shop I go into now had little token toys/gifts at the till points making it impossible for him to not see them!

Original poster

Lalalamb · 23/08/2018 15:09

Yes, I am very happy to block YouTube and ditch tablet for a while. Clearly I've developed a really silly blind spot to this...

OP posts:

domesticslattern · 23/08/2018 15:10

Stop him watching the videos obvs.
It is not too young to introduce the concept of pocket money. At 4 my kids got £1 a week, which they mostly spent in charity shops where £1 goes further.

SoyDora · 23/08/2018 15:10

I have a 4 and a 3 year old. No they don’t do this really, I don’t take them to shops very often and they don’t watch adverts etc much either. DD1 isn’t really in to toys at all anyway, she prefers crafts/books. DD2 loves toys but doesn’t really pester for them.

EyeDrops · 23/08/2018 15:12

Agreed! I only let 3yo DD watch YouTube on guided access so I can control what she's watching.

Would he cope better with days out etc if he has one or two of his own toys with him to distract him? Are there consequences if he whinges/gets shouty about the gift shop?

Xiaoxiong · 23/08/2018 15:12

I think it's normal (though definitely knock the YouTube videos on the head and don't watch TV that has ads!)

There is a poem from a book called The Goops about how nice children shouldn't tease their parents to buy new toys for them all the time which was published in 1900! I used to beg for new things and the usual response was to put it on the birthday/Christmas list and when we were older we were told to use pocket money or save up. We kids each had a running gift list on the fridge!!

Original poster

Lalalamb · 23/08/2018 15:12

We had huge success when we first used a star chart after he turned three. If he got enough stars over the week then he would get something small and didn't ask for or expect anything else. I think we should bring that back.

OP posts:

SpiritedLondon · 23/08/2018 15:13

Well I don’t think my DD6 has ever seen them and I don’t agree that every shop has toys / gifts at the till point. She does have a friend who pesters for new toys at every outing but mainly because her mother buys her stuff all the time. It’s not rocket science.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 23/08/2018 15:16

We all get blind spots about stuff OP

He is only young, you can knock this on the head.

If it helps, DD1 only looks at the iPad under supervision and can watch selected things inc Peppa, nursery rhymes/ children's songs, and other such programmes. We use the iPad waaaay more since her baby bro and sis arrived but if she has had a session, it tends to then "need charging" for the rest of the day. We also don't ever go to toyshops unless buying a bday present before a party.

Justmuddlingalong · 23/08/2018 15:18

Many kids get too much stuff, too often IMO. Shopping has become a national pastime. I have friends and family members who constantly buy their demanding children toys. The toys are barely touched before they're pestering for the next one. And it has made them selfish, spoilt and ungrateful. No, is a complete sentence.

BunsOfAnarchy · 23/08/2018 15:25

Ipads/phones/tablets are the devil.
Stop allowing DC to watch youtube.

My neice is 4. She is exactly like this. She even talks with an americanised accent and sils mum (her nan) just hands her the phone to watch youtube all day!
Shes banned from phones/tablets now my mum and dad have her in the hols..she is so much happier and more social and has stopped askin for toys 24/7.
She gets 30 mins of childrens section on Netflix and its enough to satisfy her need

Scotinoz · 23/08/2018 15:46

I have a 3 and 4 year old, and yes, they do ask for new toys when they see good looking stuff in the shops. But I think it's pretty natural to be honest...doesn't everyone have that feeling? You see a nice TV/pair of shoes/cushion/etc and think it'd be nice to own?! They're quite accepting though when they're told no, and understanding that things that like are generally for presents or special occasions.

The You Tube toy videos are a menace 😩

nordicwannabe · 23/08/2018 15:47

We introduced pocket money at 5, which worked brilliantly to stop the gift shop demands.

Her pocket money still occassionally burns a hole in her pocket until she's spent it, but that's rare now. She thinks much more carefully about what she really wants (and is happier with what she's chosen - it often seemed before that she just wanted to get something... anything!). Several times she's saved up for several weeks to get something she really wants - and has been fine with not getting it straight away.

4 might be just a little young still, but worth trying in 6 months- 1 year.

ACatsNoHelpWithThat · 23/08/2018 15:52

"She even talks with an americanised accent"

God my DSCs do this, winds me up as it shows they are using/watching electronic devices way too much!

mavismcruet · 23/08/2018 16:01

My DD never asked for things - she is 7 and still doesn’t. Nightmare at Christmas and birthdays as she just says she would like surprises.

My DS is 3 and never stops asking for things. He doesn’t watch YouTube and only sees tv on catch up without adverts. He does things like brings the Lego inserts to me and says “I would like that one next please Mummy”. Or when I’ve been shopping “have you bought me a present?” I’m hoping our lack of response will help him to grow out of it SOON

Rebecca36 · 23/08/2018 16:07

They all do it but get used to not having everything they fancy so don't worry.

SoyDora · 23/08/2018 16:13

I took mine to the toys r us closing down sale... DD1 walked round sighing ‘I wish I liked toys so I wanted some of this stuff’ while DD2 picked up everything she saw and tried to put it in the basket

MistakenHoliday · 23/08/2018 16:22

My DD is 3, approaching 4, and pocket money has really curbed the 'I want thats'. She gets money for doing her 'jobs' and anything she wants when we're out comes from that. She puts A LOT back when she realises she'll have to pay for it!

Those Youtube videos and TV adverts are awful for making her grabby so we don't let her watch them. Much easier that way

FrancesHaHa · 23/08/2018 18:28

Having clear rules and sticking to them is a good way to curb this. Pocket money is one way to do thus.

DD used to ask for sweets/ ice cream every day after school in reception and now and again I'd agree, so she learnt it was always worth pestering for them. So I brought in a rule that she could chose one thing on a set day, and she never asks now.

As a pp said those videos are just long adverts, and young kids aren't old enough to understand about advertising, so naturally are going to ask for things.

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