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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Which job? More of a WWYD (sorry), but I can shoehorn in an AIBU if you like!

16 replies

HortenseTheHousecat · 23/08/2018 10:19

Both jobs are PT. The rest of the time I’m at home with two young children.

Job 1:

Current job in a vair nice Michelin star restaurant.

Pros;

It’s busy, it’s varied, I’m on my feet all day, so quite active which I like. I love food and meeting people and being hospitable. There’s something very special about Michelin star restaurants and I love being part of that. It pays well (net) as no childcare is required; I can do evenings and weekends. It’s local, but not THAT local. It’s flexible so I can choose whether or not I want to do certain shifts, to a degree.

Cons;

Zero hours contract, so no benefits and no guaranteed income. It’s a shortish drive away from home, which would be fine except when dh doesn’t get home in good time to handover dcs, so I’m in an enormous flap trying to get to work. I also have to do all (very young) dcs’ tea, bath time etc while simultaneously getting showered, dressed and doing a full face of make up. I have to look pretty much impeccable. There’s no room for an off day when I can go in without makeup etc.

Job 2:

I have just been offered a job in a theatre.

Pros;

I loved the place and people at interview. I love the theatre and could easily manage the work. It’s something new and exciting, also allowing me to meet new people, artists, actors etc. Set hours, with all weekends off, allowed to work from home one day a week, holiday pay and other benefits and entitlements.

Cons;

It’s a long commute. Youngest dc (very young) will have to go into childcare instead of being with dad. We’ll have to pay for that, (obviously), too, so after commute costs and childcare, (and this is the big problem), I will be paying to go to work. Not small sums either. Something like £60 a week I was working out... We can afford this short term, but it isn’t ideal obviously.

WWYD?

OP posts:
BuntyII · 23/08/2018 10:20

Job 1 of course Confused

HortenseTheHousecat · 23/08/2018 10:21

Really? That’s what dh said too...

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 23/08/2018 10:21

I'm sorry, but I wouldn't pay to go to work. I know everyone on here advises women to do it, but I've a feeling they have someone else's salary supporting them.

You don't like getting the kids ready for bed and getting ready yourself as it stands - how much worse would it be with a big commute?

I'd stay put for now.

MyBloodyMaltesersAreMelting · 23/08/2018 10:23

I'd stick with the job at the restaurant for the time being

HortenseTheHousecat · 23/08/2018 10:31

Hmmmm I think you’re right. And I do love it. It’s just a bit tiring doing childcare, plus work, but Dh actually made another suggestion which is to have the baby go to childcare for a bit of time in the week so I can rest. Dc1 is at preschool some days already. But I’d feel a bit of a fraud doing that if I wasn’t going to work... Maybe I could talk to my boss and see if they would give me regular hours on one weekday or something. As all the school kids and university students go back to their studies they may have some gaps to fill on weekdays.

I’m still feeding dc2, but I can (and do) pump and leave bm with dh, so could potentially do that with work.

That’s the other thing; there are no facilities, or time tbh, for pumping at the restaurant (kind of obviously I suppose, as where would I pump in a restaurant Grin). And for how much longer I’ll be feeding dc2 I don’t know.

OP posts:
HortenseTheHousecat · 23/08/2018 10:32

It’s just a bit tiring doing childcare, plus work,

Sorry - I mean childcare all day in the week plus working evenings and weekends. I appreciate most people do childcare plus work!

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HortenseTheHousecat · 23/08/2018 10:38

Also, when will dh get to rest if I put the baby in childcare one day a week? He still has to have the two dcs on his own at the weekends and do bed time on his own when I’m working in the evenings. He says he doesn’t mind, but hmmmm.

OP posts:
MissLingoss · 23/08/2018 10:45

Could you pay someone for a couple of hours a day to help with tea/bathtime, to make it less fraught? Could be a local teenager who would wash up/tidy the bathroom/watch one child while you're dealing with the other?

HortenseTheHousecat · 23/08/2018 10:47

Oh that’s an idea... Maybe a mothers help or something? Thank you. They could help with tea / bath time while I get dressed maybe.

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Gizlotsmum · 23/08/2018 11:00

Will you have the opportunity to increase your earnings in job 2?

HortenseTheHousecat · 23/08/2018 12:30

Yes, but I imagine it would take some time. I think both jobs have about the same potential for better salary. But if I used job 2 as a steppingstone then maybe in a year or two I could move on, depending on how it goes.

OP posts:
FASH84 · 23/08/2018 12:56

What impact would it have on your family life not to have to work unsocial hours and most weekends anymore? That would make a difference to me if you think the earning and progression potential is also there with job two

squadronleader87 · 23/08/2018 13:01

Going against the grain here but I’d go for Job 2. The set hours and weekends off would be a deal breaker for me. Plus the stability of knowing you have set hours. In the summary you’ve given it also sounds like there will be opportunity for progression once you are in the door.

It depends what you are aiming for from work. If it’s simply money then I’d go for job 1. If it’s a career then job 2 would be my preference.

HortenseTheHousecat · 23/08/2018 13:50

I already get Sunday off every weekend, so the only big difference would be no longer working Saturdays or evenings.

I would love to start a ‘proper’ career, having spent so long making things work around dh’s job and now dcs. But possibly, this isn’t the time to do that? Don’t know.

Job 2 is a very small venue - we aren’t talking the west end here! So, in terms of career progression, I don’t imagine it being especially speedy. And then there’s the big commute. But I LOVED it when I went for interview. Wonder if I could keep both jobs on... but that would probably be exhausting and I’d never see family.

OP posts:
Racecardriver · 23/08/2018 13:53

Any chance of moving closer to job 2?

HortenseTheHousecat · 23/08/2018 14:01

Yes, we could do. We are thinking of moving anyway. Dh’s job and job 2 are in opposite directions from where we now live, but we could move somewhere which was either closer to dh’s work, but an easier train ride for me or vice versa. That’s something we were talking about last night.

OP posts:
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