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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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5 replies

Ladygalla · 23/08/2018 00:52

I have a close friend who hasn’t had an easy life, single Mum with two kids. I try and help out as much as possible as she doesn’t really have anyone else.

I always offer to have them over at mine for the night so she can have a break. She’s had a stressful week with work etc so I offered to have the eldest (youngest is at his dads/different dads) on Thursday and Friday night and then bring him home on Saturday morning where I’ll look after both of them all day as she’s working.

She’s now mentioned that eldest child’s dad wants to take him for a haircut on Friday morning so I asked nicely would he mind coming to pick him up to save me driving back and fourth 3 days in a row (she lives around 45 mins away so it does cost a fair bit in petrol). This seems to have annoyed her.

Something similar happened a few weeks ago as I was due to have him over night (parents asked this time) but dad decided to take him out for tea and then drop him of at mine that evening, I was then bombarded with calls asking if I would go and pick him up as dad couldn’t be assed with the traffic (but he thought I could?!) 🙄

I’ve recently left my job due to a bereavement in the family and don’t start back at work until October so things have been pretty stressful financially and emotionally for myself, my friend knows this.

WIBU to not offer to have the kids anymore as when I do I always seem to end up out of pocket or messed around. I’m really not stingy with money and I spend lots on the kids but I don’t have an unlimited amount of petrol and I think if you change the plans the least you can do is pick the child up yourself?!!!

OP posts:
Hideandgo · 23/08/2018 00:56

YANBU. Sorry to hear they take advantage of your kindness.

Ladygalla · 23/08/2018 01:00

Thank you for reassuring me, sometimes I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or awkward but it’s nice to know I’m not. I think from now on I won’t bother unless they ask.

OP posts:
Bambamber · 23/08/2018 01:01

YANBU

They sound like they're taking advantage of you

AnotherRandomMale · 23/08/2018 01:01

You are a kind soul & being taken advantage of. Don't feel guilty for standing up for yourself.

Ladygalla · 23/08/2018 01:07

Thank you everyone for your reassurance. It is a shame as I love having the kids over, I live on my own so it’s great company for me. I do think it’s Dad more so than Mum but personally had that been me I would of told dad someone already had plans with him and to take him for a haircut another day. I was planing on taking him to the park and for ice cream had the weather been nice so it’s a shame.

OP posts:
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