Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To want to get rid of my lodger for leaving the door open

14 replies

novalia89 · 22/08/2018 20:28

3 times now I have come home and my lodger has left the front door open. I have a door closer and it hadn't engaged on the latch. I also went to work a few days ago and he had left his window open. Then I opened all of the windows in the living room and went into my room and he stayed in the living room. He finally went to bed and turned the light off but didn't close the windows. I know I opened them, but I don't think that it is always my responsibility to do the final nightly sweep, especially as he was last in the room. He leaves the kitchen and bathroom windows open too.

I have ground floor flat in a slightly dodgy inner city neighbourhood. I'm always concerned about being burgled and no that the insurance won't cover it.

This may have happened more but I leave for work earlier than him and get back later.

He is a friend from a social club I attend and he is extremely laid back and easy going. Probably why he just says that he's sorry every time I tell him off.

How can I get it through to him or am I being unreasonable thinking of getting rid of him because he is just too much of a liability?

Thanks

OP posts:

argumentativefeminist · 22/08/2018 20:31

Get rid. He doesn't have respect for the security of you or your home. If I'm the last one up in my houseshare, I do the security "sweep". If anyone else is, they do it. Because we care about protecting each other and ourselves.

bakingdemon · 22/08/2018 20:32

Is there a specific clause in your lodger agreement you can invoke to show that he's not pulling his weight wrt security? You need to tell him that if he does this again, he's out and then follow through.

BertieBott · 22/08/2018 20:32

YANBU . He will ask for another chance. Tell him you gave him 2 after the first time.

hidinginthenightgarden · 22/08/2018 20:34

Have a final chat and tell him he will have to leave if he doesn't start taking it more seriously.

RabbitsAreTasty · 22/08/2018 20:37

Get rid. He has no respect for you or your property.

RaininSummer · 22/08/2018 20:39

I would. I was so peed off when my lodger went out leaving the window wide open. He seemed oblivious re burglars and insurance implications.

Blackbirdblue30 · 22/08/2018 20:40

THREE times? Get him out.

MyRelationshipIsWeird · 22/08/2018 20:49

Steal his stuff?!

I had a similar problem with my DP. One night I broke down in tears and told him I’m fed up of always having to be the responsible one, that maybe he leaves his door unlocked and doesn’t worry, but for me it’s a real concern that I’ll be burgled (lots of break ins in this area) and as a woman living alone I have more to worry about than him.

That night we both had our cars broken into, un fortunately neither of us had anything of value in them, just a bit of change, but they went through his stuff and dropped it on the pavement.

It certainly got the message Home (although I suspect he still thinks it was me! Until I told him to call the police I’m sure he thought it was me trying to prove a point!)

He’s still shit with his own stuff, leaves his front door unlocked and his wallet in the car but at least he takes responsibility for closing and locking my doors and windows now.

I’d suggest staging a burglary and then chuck him out

ForalltheSaints · 22/08/2018 20:53

Get rid. Even if you lived in an area with almost zero crime rate this would be enough.

Original poster

novalia89 · 22/08/2018 22:12

It's so tricky, because this is such a simple thing and he is so chilled, goes to bed early, makes no noise etc. Him being so chilled out is probably part of the problem.
I have adjusted the door closer on the front door so it now pretty much slams shut immediately and my mum suggested leaving a note on the door about the windows. I've just explained again that I wont be covered by the insurance if I'm burgarled. I If it happens again I think I'll have to get rid, it's too risky for my area.

OP posts:

AtrociousCircumstance · 22/08/2018 22:17

Yes of course, get rid. You can’t live like that.

Kewqueue · 22/08/2018 22:20

I get the impression that you haven't actually spelt it out for him and it isn't obvious for him. Tell him that he needs to always close the windows and door. If he doesn't and you are burgled, you will hold him responsible for the loss. If he does it again, he will have to leave.

Brambleboo · 22/08/2018 22:26

You've asked him more than once to respect you and your home by simply closing the doors and windows. He's not getting it so I think you have every right to tell him to leave.

I understand your worries about being burgled and the insurance company refusing to pay out; I have these exact same worries myself. I find the anxiety of it excruciating at times. Don't out yourself through it any longer.

Holidaycountdown · 23/08/2018 00:16

YANBU, I would sit him down and make it very clear that you will ask him to leave if it continues. My DH does this frequently, we live in a ground floor maisonette in what I consider to be a ‘safe’ area, almost all of the valuables/gadgets/stupidly huge tv etc. in the house are his, I almost hope someone steals them so he’ll learn his lesson! (Have considered removing them all myself for a giggle)

Flip