What’s a normal amount of perviness for a man?

[Wallflowerfire]

Ok I don’t know if it’s me being prudish, but I feel like some men I know are pervy and think I’m the one with the problem.
For example: talking about fitness with a male friend, he starts talking about yoga pants, and how good they look. I was like, what you mean leggings, and he sent me a picture of a girl’s bum ( like a proper Instagram bum) wearing leggings. Saying show me a guy who doesn’t like girls in yoga pants. Like, we were talking about fitness..
and I said “I’m shocked!” jokingly but was really put off.
Is that too prudish?
Another example, a guy I was once seeing kept turning the text conversation into sexual, like during the day when I wasn’t at all in the mood, saying oh I really love it when we’re naked cuddling etc and I kept trying to desexualise it by changing the subject a bit, but he just carried on, and then went onto expressing it in emoji form, then sexual emoji form and then saying oh they don’t have the particular algorithm I want if you know what I mean, and I said what, sex positions, he said yes, and I just went ‘right.’ To which he went weird and said out of nowhere “I’m not going to apologise for wanting to have sex with you”.

I said “I just said ‘right’ because tbh I felt like it was a bit too much sex talk atm” to which he laughed and started telling me I was ridiculous.
Then said I was p**sing him off he was sick of me trying to make him feel bad for wanting things and got really nasty! Was I doing that?

As far as I’m concerned men aren’t ‘entitled’ to sex conversations just because they want them!

Am I too prudish?

No, you're not. He is being ridiculous. You have no obligation to listen to his crap.

Nope you are not but you’re far too mature for the men in those examples. Find either an older or just more mature man.

Thank you Kewqueue, good to know I’m not crazy.

I think it is all about what a person is willing to accept and there is no rule book really. I don’t mind a bit of pervy conversation so long as it is about me and him not an unsuspecting person, but other people may find it offensive. What is a problem is that if it is beyond your level of acceptance and you ask him to curb his speak yet he carries on,that is beyond anyone’s limits I feel. So in answer to your question no you are not a prude you just have a different level of what is acceptable sexual talk than I do. You must always tell a man he has gone too far in your book to not ever feel you can’t say.

First guy sounds inappropriate.

Second guy sounds manipulative, and disrespectful, borderline controlling.

If he had cared for and respected you he wouldn't have kept pushing your boundaries, wouldn't have become so manipulative when you tried to close it down, and would not have turned nasty to punish you for not going along with what he wanted.

You're not a prude for having boundaries that you're prepared to defend. That's healthy.

Nasty, controlling men are fond of throwing "prude" etc at women who have healthy boundaries that they won't allow said controlling man to erode.

Thank you crazydoglady
Anoukspirit, I have thought he definitely is manipulative and controlling, through other things he has done and said. He even said he was ‘narcissistic’, which he has 9/10 signs for.

I feel like this is something men do a lot to push women's boundaries.

By making it your problem you find it inappropriate rather than his that he's being inappropriate. You're not being unreasonable.

IME if they constantly turn everything back to sex its because that's all I am to them. Even in honeymoon period /first flush etc you can have non sexual interaction, that's healthy. Men are very visual tho too, so the odd comment, the say on liking curves etc isn't unusual or 'pervy' (unless graphically sexual)