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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I mention to HR

23 replies

Summerrose10 · 22/08/2018 12:53

I wrote about a harassment claim I put into work about 6 months ago I've named changed since then. Anyway general jist was me and this guy were friends he started being strange. Sent me an inappropriate picture out of no where, tried spiking my drink, watching me at work, kept emailing/messaging me.
The outcome of the meeting was he got a formal final warning ( He had done this before but weren't formally logged about the other person). He was not allowed to contact me. He was only allowed in my room to get a drink and not to linger around. He was not allowed a pay review for a year. So quite a harsh telling off which i was happy with.
I haven't heard from him and he didn't linger when got drinks. A few times he had stopped to have chats with people but didn't last for long so didn't say anything. Today however he was in my room for longer and talking about non work related things. It really angered me and made me feel uncomfortable. Clearly he has forgotten his terms.
So AIBU to mention to HR he is beginning to come in my room again and linger?

OP posts:
AdoreTheBeach · 22/08/2018 13:01

Go straight away to HR - and don’t linger

Winchester89 · 22/08/2018 13:02

Yep go to HR now.

Mrsdarcyiwish10 · 22/08/2018 13:06

Not at all, you need to feel comfortable and he obviously needs it reinforcing from HR.

HollowTalk · 22/08/2018 13:11

He tried to spike your drink? The police should have been involved. That is far beyond what's normal.

IncrediblySturdyPyjamas · 22/08/2018 13:13

I remember the thread.

Yes, straight to HR.

Piffle11 · 22/08/2018 13:23

Yes go straight to HR. He's starting to push the boundaries, so to speak. If you don't say anything it will get worse. Considering you are the second person who has complained about him - even though the first wasn't logged formally - he is being quite brazen. You would think he would make sure he was never anywhere near you.

Original poster
Summerrose10 · 22/08/2018 13:36

That's why I feel so angry I feel like he is taking the mick and isn't taking it that seriously.

OP posts:
AdoreTheBeach · 22/08/2018 14:07

Also, this time, if he’s not fired, insist he cannot go for drinks where you are.

I do also wonder, is their handling (and monitoring) of the situation grounds for constructive dismissal for you? Surely they have a duty of cate for you in the work place, free from harassment and threat of assault (spiking drink).

Let us know how you get in

DramaAlpaca · 22/08/2018 14:11

I remember your thread. Go straight to HR.

Rebecca36 · 22/08/2018 14:14

He's weird. Tell HR.

Puggled · 22/08/2018 15:10

Yes, report to HR. I had a colleague who "pushed the boundaries". He'd back off after a warning, but start up again a few months later. Not having any official HR, and him being "important" to the company, it was me who ended up out the door. I'd look for another job if HR don't deal with him to your satisfaction.

Loopy83 · 22/08/2018 15:11

Spiked your drink?! Agree with above. Go to HR.

FuckPants · 22/08/2018 15:13

Why aren't the police involved? He spiked your drink!

Original poster
Summerrose10 · 22/08/2018 17:12

When I say spiked my drink he tried putting extra alcohol in it without me noticing. However I did notice and didn't drink it. So no drugs involved

OP posts:
Original poster
Summerrose10 · 22/08/2018 17:13

Also I informed HR and she said she would remind him of the terms I think she said.

OP posts:
AdoreTheBeach · 22/08/2018 22:28

Oh OP, that sounds very blasé from HR. I’d certainly put into an email to HR confirmation of what you’ve spoken about today and confirm you’re understanding that HR will speak with the harasser, ask what are the next steps to document this? Will there be a second warning to note ths breach of agreement?

CSIblonde · 22/08/2018 22:35

Go straight to HR. As they have a duty of care for you health and safety, I'd also ask to be moved away from drinks or have drinks water cooler
moved. (assume your 'room' isn't in a fully working kitchen).

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 22/08/2018 22:37

Hr immediately..... He treating his warning with contempt

Maelstrop · 22/08/2018 22:38

HR first thing! He’s relaxing and ought not to.

Original poster
Summerrose10 · 22/08/2018 23:06

He knows if any little thing happens he will lose his job. He clearly isn't taking it seriously. He was working in my room yesterday which i was so uncomfortable with. His team were having new desks fitted and therefore him and some others had to come into my room to use computers. I didn't say anything though as he technically had no where else to go. He prob thinks I'm ok now. I don't think he knows how much he makes my skin crawl

OP posts:
SilverHairedCat · 22/08/2018 23:11

Ah yes, I remember this twat. Agree with PP. Follow it up tomorrow with an email to HR, agreeing what he has been doing, how this breaches what you have been told is in place for your protection and how this action has made you feel.

Original poster
Summerrose10 · 23/08/2018 07:27

I've already sent HR a email and got a reply saying she would remind him what was said at his disciplinary meeting

OP posts:
SilverHairedCat · 23/08/2018 09:58

Good stuff. Always worth putting stuff in writing in these scenarios. Stops the excuses later that someone "didn't know" or "wasn't told" etc.

Hope it gets done early today.

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