Hello- first ever post! I'll try not to go on but there's a lot of detail and I don't want to drip feed.
3/4 months ago we got a new downstairs neighbour. She appeared to be moving in alone, seemed friendly and nice enough.
Since she's been living here, a man has also been living here. He first introduced himself as her handyman. All he seems to do is sit outside and smoke, occasionally walking the dog.
He seemed to know a lot about my partner and I (presumably from the landlord- we have different landlords but I've met the other one as he used to live downstairs). I tried to make conversation with him when we first met and asked if he'd been in the area long. He told me not to ask personal questions and that he doesn't talk about himself. I found it abrupt but understand that some people are very private.
Since then things have got increasingly uncomfortable. He is always here- we assume he lives here now because he has been outside smoking at midnight, 6am, all hours. He makes comments to me and my partner. She is a healthcare professional and once when she was in uniform he said that he had a medical problem requiring attending but he couldn't show her in public. He's also asked us both if we're flexible (physically). It doesn't seem like much but he makes comments like this everyday.
We have started to dread coming home, at any time of day in case he is outside the front door. When we are alone at night we triple check our front door is locked. If I'm taking the bins out I look out the window first to make sure he's not out there.
Today I received an amazon package which had been opened and the invoice is not in there. I'm willing to accept there was no invoice, but my post has been opened. It was a self help book about relationships and from the front cover it's obviously about sex. I am terrified that he has opened the parcel and will make a comment about it. (The other alternative is that it was ripped being squeezed through the letter box, but it was moved to our letter basket so he would have handled it at some point.)
We wonder if he has been in prison, which is why he was so guarded about himself, or the female neighbour has taken him in as a sublet or something, but it's very hard to have sympathy when we feel so uncomfortable in our own home. I also feel more vulnerable as we are a same sex couple, although that may just be my own issues.
I suppose my question is- AIBU to be so disconcerted? Should we just get over it?
If we ANBU- what sort of action could we take? The female neighbour seems to need the help with dog walking and everything, and we don't really know her well enough. We don't want to cause trouble but equally I don't know how much longer we can go on like this.
Apologies for the length of this! Thanks for reading till the very end!