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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel weird in never having a passion for any job I have ever done?

59 replies

Frokni · 22/08/2018 11:15

Need to know if I am alone here or if other people feel this way:

Age 17-19 worked at Tesco
20-26 Nanny in London
26-present (31) teacher, first corporate training now secondary teacher at alternative school
Have supplemented income with marking, assessing, verifying etc in Education since aged 26.

I literally have never felt passion for any job! I work hard as it's in my nature and I want to be part of a team, but my god, my interest, is so low it's unreal. I taught through my mum's business for a while and was more engaged with it as it was a family thing but passion is never a word I would use.

Does anyone else feel this way? If so, why do you think? If you have always been passionate what do you do and how did you go about it? Are you following a dream with no money/capital. I want to feel really passionate about work as I have to work part-time for me and my family to get by.

(Married, DP works FT) with DD1 aged 3.5 and DD2 10 months) just saying that so you get an idea of family life. I would love to stay at home but it's not an option financially.

Any thoughts or moany rants about how boring work is?

OP posts:

HollowTalk · 22/08/2018 11:18

If you had no children and could work anywhere in the world doing whatever you wanted to do, but you had to earn money, what would you do?

babybobbob · 22/08/2018 11:19

I feel your pain. I live in an area that I love and is a great place for kids to grow up, but , the work choices are fairly limited. I work part time as we need the income. But it’s boring.

Babdoc · 22/08/2018 11:22

Not everyone loves their job. I’d guess maybe not even a majority. Lots of people work primarily to fund their life, and get their satisfaction from their families and hobbies.
Is there any subject that enthuses you, OP? A hobby that you’d love to develop into a career? A vocation that you’d like to explore?

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 22/08/2018 11:24

Same OP.

I’ve never had any idea of a career goal, not even as a child. I still have no idea what I would do if I had free choice/money no object. I just do whatever job I can get that suits my circumstances at the time. I flit about and never settle in a job.

MrsSteptoe · 22/08/2018 11:25

I didn't, really, till I hit upon editing by accident and realised I was very good at it. Sadly, I didn't follow it up because I went to do something much more well paid, and then life took over. I suspect that most people probably could, eventually, hit on something that really inspires them if we were able to be more mobile in the world of work, but that's not reality -- I guess experimentation around hobbies and volunteering, free time stuff, is more likely to produce something that you feel more engaged by?

CycleWoman · 22/08/2018 11:27

I have a job that uses my degree, pays well and I work with nice people. I like it and I really do appreciate how lucky I am to have such a job. But do I love it and feel passionate about it? Not really!

I know lots of people in the same boat with their jobs. But I see lots of things in the media and on social media about how important it is to be ‘passionate’ about your job. I do think this puts a bit of unreasonable pressure on people as not everyone is in a position to acquire the perfect job!

I’m not saying that if your unhappy in a job you should just put up with it. Perhaps just trying to reassure you that not everyone feels really strongly about their job.

FrankieChips · 22/08/2018 11:27

You sound like me although you have a better career than I ever have. I'm in my 40s and still don't know what I want to do. Well, I DO but it doesn't pay well at all (working for an animal shelter). I would love to feel passionate about work but I feel like it's too late for me.

maddening · 22/08/2018 11:29

When do you feel enthusiasm?

SnuggyBuggy · 22/08/2018 11:30

I'm the same. I just worked to please other people (in the sense that I'd be judged as a work shy scrounger if I didn't have a job) and feel no desire to return after having DD. If I earned enough to make an honest living maybe that would motivate me.

Original poster

Frokni · 22/08/2018 11:34

Wow! 15 minutes after posting. What a great response.

So, I love writing and am starting on my allotment journey. when my allotment is seed-ready (it's a mess from.previous tenant) I will write about that I think and maybe Instagram it. Not a money maker but something I can be proud of.

I love cooking (would love to improve more on this) and playing with my girls. I am not a social mum just more of a chill at home and go out as a family mum.

Really glad to know I not alone.

OP posts:

Womaningreen · 22/08/2018 11:35

oh people made me feel weird about this till I was about 40

there are definitely things I'd have preferred, but bills have to be paid...

I stopped worrying when I realised how many of the "follow your dream" types were subbed by money from family etc.

Original poster

Frokni · 22/08/2018 11:41

@HollowTalk I would most likely be in Paris teaching English and writing. Paris has always been a dream (Have been loads and love all it's grubbyness and chicness- totally a word)

OP posts:

ReginaOcarina · 22/08/2018 11:45

I feel exactly the same! I'm so jealous of people who know what their passion is and make it into a well paying job. To be fair I think it's rare though. I work to just make money so I can do things I do enjoy instead.

Sparklesocks · 22/08/2018 11:46

Honestly? Yes in an ideal world everyone would love what they do and have deep passion for it, but I think that’s the minority. Most people are just clocking in, doing what they need to do to pay the bills, and that’s that.
I like my job, but I don’t LOVE it. And I think that would be the same for everything. It’s still work after all, there are other things we’d rather do with our time on earth.
But I think of it as a reason to enjoy the free time I do have. It means I can pursue my hobbies/interests and live my passions outside of work. It funds nice holidays and time with my family and friends. I’m fortunate to have a job I like, and I find my life satisfaction outside of it. I think most people feel the same way.
But I know that’s not enough for everyone. It’s just hard to find a job you truly love.

Sparklesocks · 22/08/2018 11:50

Also I do hate the ‘have passion for what you do’ stuff. Even if someone is applying for a low level position they’re meant to spout off in the interview about how much they want to work there, and why that company is inspiring and life affirming – even if you’re applying to do the filing! I wish it was acceptable in some cases for the ‘why do you want to work here?’ question just to be ‘I work hard, and I need money to live!’.

Original poster

Frokni · 22/08/2018 11:53

@sparklesocks yes giving honest answers at interview should become the new norm!

OP posts:

Womaningreen · 22/08/2018 11:53

Sparklesocks "I wish it was acceptable in some cases for the ‘why do you want to work here?’ question just to be ‘I work hard, and I need money to live!’."

so much this.

SnuggyBuggy · 22/08/2018 11:58

I love that bit on the Office UK when Keith gets asked what motivates him and he is just honest and says, it's just a stopgap really, not difficult, don't take work home, pretty brainless.

squashyhat · 22/08/2018 12:03

Most of my jobs had a theme, if not exactly a career trajectory. I was enjoying - but not passionate about - my last one when the offer of redundancy/early retirement came up and I bit their hand off. I'm still not sure what I 'should' have done with my career but it paid sufficiently well to give me a good lifestyle and fund (and continues to fund) some great holidays. Job done! (pun intended)

Gromance02 · 22/08/2018 12:04

I think most people aren't passionate about their job as most roles are fairly dull. I'd even get bored singing the same songs every night if I was Beyoncé!

Ohyesiam · 22/08/2018 12:06

I would say the majority work to live, not the other way round.

PoesyCherish · 22/08/2018 12:10

I'm not passionate about my job and I see it as just that - a job, not a career. I have a job that vaguely uses my degree and pays well for the local area. I have never been honest at an interview about why I want the job.

I've recently been volunteering and really enjoy it so I'm looking into careers that would be similar. But part of me wonders if maybe I'm just one of those people who will always see work as a pay cheque enabling me to do fun things and that perhaps I'm better off just keeping up with the volunteering in my spare time

Fatted · 22/08/2018 12:13

I think my problem has always been I 'like' and 'enjoy' the jobs I've had. I just don't like or enjoy the other crap that comes with them. Like annoying co-workers, bad managers, traveling distance, working hours, stress with the role etc. So then the enthusiasm and passion gets worn down by those other things. I don't think any job is ever going to be perfect unless you can control all those things by being your own boss.

serbska · 22/08/2018 12:17

This is me. I don’t mind going to work. I feel adequately challenged. I like my team. My work can be interesting.

But it is not my passion. If I won the lottery I would find other things to do with my time!

Original poster

Frokni · 22/08/2018 12:18

@Fatted that's a good point you've made there actually. The additional bits contribute to the "can't be arsed" feeling I often get.

OP posts:

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