To be completely crushed:-(

[worriedmamma12]

I am in the middle of a nervous breakdown which has been building for a few weeks. I have self harmed, had suicidal thoughts and am not able to function without the help of my mum.

While away at my dads this weekend my daughter announced to me that daddy had a new girlfriend and they have been on three day trips together. I am beyond crushed and angry. I asked him outright is she was his girlfriend and he said no (daughter came home with painted nails one weekend). He said because of my delicate stare he didn't want to upset me. However this has been going on since October and before a few weeks ago I was on a really good place and was happy and would have taken it much better. Instead he told our 6 year old knowing she'd tell me when I'm at my most vulnerable. I feel like he has left me all over again, I'm struggling to get out of bed or shower and feel broken.

I should add that he was abusive to me and it ended because I had him arrested for threatening to kill me.

What hurts me the most is that the children are now with him until next week and I know they will be playing happy families with my children, the children he never wanted and it's eating me up.

I know I need to rest and get better but I miss them and have then away from them for this long before. I can't even call as he gets angry and my daughter gets upset.

I'm getting support from the crisis team, GP, health visitor and friends:parents but nothing is lifting this horrible fog. I feel like I will never get over him or recover from this breakdown :-(

Please contact the crisis team, as painful as it is, you don't want a violent abusive man in your life, the fact he has moved on is a positive, but I know it won't feel like that now. Your crisis team might be able to get you in for a therapy session or might need to readjust your meds if they're not effective for you

He was abusive & threatened to kill you-keep this in your head & be sure you're better off without him.
Of course you miss the DC it's only natural but for the moment please focus on you & getting yourself back to a better place

When my exH left me 4 years ago I thought the bottom had fallen out of my world. I could get out of bed and had constant panic attacks. It was an awful time. Slowly I got better only to find out a few months later he was with another woman and I felt like I hit rock bottom again. 4 years on and I’ve rebuilt my life. I had counselling which gave me the tools I needed to deal with my issues.

I wouldn’t go back with my exH even if you paid me now...he wasn’t abusive but he ran up massive debts and spent all his time in the pub (where he met his new partner). I’m so much happier without him in my life. You can get better but you need to concentrate on yourself. You are better off without him and you can be happy again.

It just all hurts so much. Crisis team are coming out most days and my mum is with me because I attempted to take too many pills a few weeks ago. I have been through so much and was doing really well and I don't feel I have the strength to pull myself back up

Couldn’t just read and not reply, OP, please stay strong and keep getting help from your Mum and the crisis team. Think of how good it will be to see your DC when they come back home, think of a nice treat you can do together when they’re back xx