Sorry for the morbid question but it's on my mind.
Here's my situation:
2 dcs, one has special needs aged 9 and 7.
Split with ex 5 years ago - he lives the other side of the country. He moved away when we split.
He sees them eow and school holidays - dcs travel to him.
He's NOT involved with dcs special needs. I have plenty of posts regarding this but under a different user name. His family are also not involved. They don't have a clue about anything.
I've re married and due a baby any day now.
My wishes in the event of my death is that the dcs stay here and not move to the other side of the country with their father and his family. This is mainly for ds sake.
I'd be happy for my ex to move here and raise the dcs. My main point is that my dcs do not move. I don't want ds in a new school, ex wouldn't have a clue about his appointments etc - he has no idea who is involved with him etc.
Both dcs are extremely close to my family. My mum especially. They will also have a new sibling that I want them to be close too if anything were to happen to me.
It literally brings me to tears at the thought of them losing me then being moved to the other side of the country away from everyone that they actually class as family. I can't bare to think about it. They would be so unhappy.
Now I plucked up the courage to ask my ex what he would do if I did pass away. He said he didn't know but would more than likely move the dcs up to him. Which I know he would - he's too selfish to consider what's best for the dcs.
So how do I go about putting my wishes in place? I've spoken to my mum and dad who are more than happy to be guardians for the dcs. As for my dh, I'm not sure what rights he has, if any?
I've been thinking about it for a while but really feel I need to have some sort of paper work in place to state my wishes. What do I need to do? I'm guessing there will be some expense involved....money is tight but it's so important to me that I'd do it.
Ex is on both birth certificates for dcs.
Thanks and sorry it's morbid x