To ask you to help me get over it?

[looooopy18]

Had 2 monster spiders in my flat this week - I've had no windows open but I know they find a way in. I am terrified of them and always end up a shaking crying mess when I see a big one. I know it's the time of year and they exist but I just can't deal with seeing them inside 😫 I live alone (with toddler DS) so it's down to me. I've tried all sorts of deterrents etc keeping flat tidy etc How do I get over seeing one? I am fed up of being a mess and I can't sleep for days after

Get professional help - it's not easy to overcome on your own. I've been recommended CBT, which I've avoided so far as I cannot envisage a world in which engaging with the object of my phobia could be in any way better than my current complete avoidance of both it and of words describing it. But you sound like you've overcome that hurdle and have a genuine desire to be rid of the phobia.

@MereDintofPandiculation I understand where you're coming from I really do - I don't wanna be around them either to overcome them it sounds ironic really I'm just fed up of being terrified in my own house not being able to sleep I avoid being in my flat as much as possible!

Can you afford a spider catcher? They are about £12 and a life saver.

I hate spiders too but have to be the one who sorts them out. I also looked up spider deterrents on the internet and now have a homemade spray with peppermint, lavender etc in it to spray around and on my bed after I had three spiders in a week on my pillows

Peppermint or lemon oil acts as a deterrent, I mix some of each in a small spray bottle with water and spray liberally around all doors, windows, skirting boards, anywhere they might get in (test any fabric for potential damage first, don't ruin your curtains!). They don't like to cross the scent barrier so it helps repel them from the house. This reminds me, haven't done it yet this year.

My wife normally deals with them once they are in the house (picks them up bare handed, weirdo) but I will shamefully admit to keeping a can of bug spray under the sink which comes out if she isn't home. I don't like killing them, and if they stay quietly in a corner on their web where I can keep an eye on them I can ignore them provided it's not my bedroom, but if they run across the floor or try to disappear so I don't know where they are I can't deal with that.

You need professional help if you’re shaking, crying and obsessing over it for days. Logically you know they can’t hurt you and aren’t interested in you - you just have an irrational phobia of them. It helped me to name them, talk to them and respect them as living creatures. I still don’t like them but I’m able to let them go about their business without being afraid.

The other thing I did when in a previous house with lots of spiders was buy the bug netting off Amazon. You stick velcro style tape around the window then stick the mesh on, so you can have the window open but no risk of bugs coming in.

One thing that I find helps get over the fear of them is learning about them. I've started with articles with no pictures, then watched videos of spider unboxings on YouTube (baby ones aren't so bad to see). Knowing a bit more about spiders and why they come into houses helps me override my instant fear that it's coming to get me, and then I can normally manage.

You need to man up and just stop yourself behaving so ridiculously. It’s a spider fgs, not a great white shark! It can’t hurt you. Pick it up in a glass and throw it out the window or squash it in some tissue if you can’t bear to let it live. What sort of example are you setting for your child? Suck it up buttercup and just deal with it!

Query1 if you can’t be bothered to offer helpful advice don’t bother posting. You can’t just ‘man up’ when you have a phobia.

OP I’m very similar to you. I freak out over them, especially the huge ones. I can’t kill them though as I know they are just going about their business, but it does ruin my night if I find one. Luckily I have someone to catch them for me, but even so I feel like I’m in shock for the rest of the day/night and jump at everything from then on.

As someone suggested, learning about them (without pictures) and their uses may help a bit.

I also buy spider deterrent spray and use it all round the doors and windows. I’m not sure it it works, but it gives me reassurance

You’re certainly not alone in your fear though.

Thanks @Vickymj and everyone. I'm trying so hard, but it is a phobia no matter how irrational it is. I don't want to pass it on to my DS because in all honesty I'd like him to be the spider Catcher when he's old enough! It's odd too, because the little ones, whilst I don't exactly enjoy them or like them, don't bother me - I can easily catch it or even leave it, I've got 2 small daddy long legs by my bed atm and I'm happy to leave them there - it's just the huge fat ones. The house spiders I think they're called the size of them the past few years has been eye watering (for me literally!!!)

I have actually read up a bit on them and it has helped a tiny bit in a weird way it's helped me to realise they're not literally coming after me to kill me even tho I never really thought that before it's just comforting to read it! I have a spray bottle with 3/4 vinegar topped up with water that I spray around as I heard they don't like that because I haven't been able to get mint oil although I did use a mix of vinegar and mouthwash once no idea how efficient it was tho