Performance Personning

[HunnidBands]

When people make a great show of themselves in front of others - by which I don’t mean making a fool of themselves (although they inadvertently do) but when they have to perform or be ultra loud or just be very, very conspicuous whenever anyone else is around.

Narcissism is a plague of the post-noughties and it’s a pain in the arse. AIBU?

I know what you mean. You see it in pubs, groups of young women especially, seems it’s not enough to have a good time, you have to show everyone else you are having a good time by screeching with laughter at every possible opportunity.

My sister and I were on the tube recently and opposite us was a woman wearing headphones and miming to whatever song she was listening to, with facial expressions and hand movements. She kept trying to get us to look her in the eye. We were the only people there and it was very uncomfortable. My sister thinks she was practicing for some stage performance and wanted us to be impressed/ask about it but it just made us get off three stops early!

Some people just need constant attention to be validated, or only seem to have fun by ‘proving’ it to other people!
I just tend to ignore…

I saw this in the bloody supermarket the other day and couldn't think of a way to describe it! It was like she was performance parenting her husband and she kept throwing me little sly smiles and glances. Very odd. I was only trying to reach for some oranges and she was blocking my way, loudly proclaiming that oranges were bad for her husband's newly diagnosed diabetes.

Years ago I was in a restaurant with a group of friends when a well known tv comedian came in with a lady. Despite being evening he was wearing dark sunglasses and was talking extremely loud.
This went on for hours.
As we were leaving, I stopped at his table and said “could you keep it down? I’m trying to have a quiet evening with my friends and I don’t want anyone to recognise me”
He simply said “fuck off” 😂

I hate it too but tend to not let it irritate me too much if the subjects are young as immaturity is often a big factor. I think I might have been like this in my teens/early 20s as I can remember a lady thanking me for brightening her commute by keeping the carriage of the train amused with my “vivacious nature” 😳 and being sharply told off by a woman in Costa who wagged a finger at me and told me I had ruined her entire trip out with her friend because she “didnt come here to listen to YOUR (my) conversation!” In all fairness, there were 6 of us and I had my back to her in a high armchair so I think she just picked on me as I wasn’t any louder than the others. However, I was completely mortified and that did make me reflect on my behaviour in public.

I am actually very introverted and quite socially anxious and was abused and bullied in childhood. Around age 15, I invented a persona of someone who was confident, outgoing and humorous based on a lot of cringeworthy American TV shows of the time (think Brooke Davis meets Buffy Somers 🙈). I went to a competitive private school and worked professionally in the entertainment industry so I was surrounded by very in your face drama queens and prior to that I was more or less invisible. I was fake and didn’t know who I was.

As I say, I’m really embarrassed looking back and also quite sad. Now I’m pretty much the total opposite and tone myself down. It did mean I had to move on with friendship groups etc and being more low key has definitely affected me negatively in my profession because the loudest still get the most attention. However, I can live with myself now knowing I’m more authentic and FAR less annoying.

So in a nutshell, yes I find Performance Personning really irritating and downright ridiculous in anyone beyond mid-twenties but I also feel quite sad to think what may have made these people the way they are. I think it’s symptomatic of not feeling “enough” and the hallmark of being very insecure.

Shadylady I think a lot of teens and young people can be like that and then, as you have, reflect on their behaviour and change a bit as they grow up.

However, the woman in the supermarket was at least in her 50's and knew exactly what she was doing judging by the looks she was giving me.

Interesting post, @ShadyLady53. I’m sure you’re not the only one who started out that way, but kudos for recognising it. But the younger generation really seem so obsessed with themselves it’s frightening. I’m sure social media is a huge part of it .

My neighbours teenage son takes a selfie of himself every time he leaves the house. It’s almost like looking in a mirror, I think

It's not just young people, I work with a woman in her late 60s who behaves like this, she's exhausting.

vampirethriller

it just made us get off three stops early This is such a wonderfully British way of dealing way of dealing with the situation. Thank you for brightening my morning just a bit.