Not talking at 2, Mum not worried?

[Dotheflosslikeaboss]

My sister has a little boy who is absolutely gorgeous, but at 2 years and 1 month he doesn’t say a thing. No babbling or trying to make sounds.

His hearing seems fine and he’s eating/walking normally. But my Sister refuses to discuss it with her HV or a Doctor.

When he’s with his friends the difference is becoming more and more noticeable, but I don’t know how normal this is or if I should try to push her more to speak to someone?

He’s her PFB and I’m trying to support her, but I’m worried that if he doesn’t get any help he needs now it will be harder when he’s older.

Then the strong silent types who say nothing for absolutely ages then suddenly come out with quite sophisticated language

DD1 was like this. Nothing until 2 years old and then no babbling, just words and sentences. She's very bright, and I was never worried - she very clearly understood everything around her, just chose not to speak until she knew what she was doing.

She's still like it now!

Yanbu to be concerned. DS didn't speak til 2 and a half, then picked up really quickly, no problems. On the other hand, my nephew was non-verbal at 2, was diagnosed with severe autism at 3 and he's still non-verbal at 7. You just never know.

@fruitbatdancer (great name btw)
Thanks, I hope that if the HV brings it up she might open up and accept it, so even if they say they’ll check again in 6 months that may help her.

I hope your little one continues to catch up x

DS was a very slow talker - at his 2 year check up they said to monitor it and they called me six months later to see how he was getting on...he was just about grasping speech by then but no one except me really knew what he was saying.
He is now 5....and he never ever EVER stops talking!
His vocabulary is amazing and it’s almost as if he was absorbing all the words and just waiting until it all made sense to him before he started speaking....

He sounds a lot like my son, who has been diagnosed with verbal dyspraxia.

I did raise it with the health visitor at his 2 year check and got referred to SALT, as well as going for a private assessment. However he didn’t start speech therapy properly until around his third birthday, which was absolutely the right time in terms of his understanding and attention span

how they use to do rough hearing check: stand behind him first on left side than on right gently rustle paper see if he reacts (stand about a foot or two behind him hope I am being clear!) then try whispering his name - don't do it straight away he will notice & turn before you make noise, Its only a rough way but it might show if he can hear. game you can play to encourage vocalization: blow up balloon place balloon on his cheek and make noise (he will feel it) and than make sounds like ber ber ber & encourage him to echo them back ...

sorry you have to push your mouth onto balloon other side so noise carries through

My DS was 3.5 before he talked. Docs tested his hearing and said that as his hearing was fine, they wouldn't worry until he was 4, and then they'd refer him if he wasn't progressing.

He then just woke up one morning and started talking and caught up with his peers within weeks, go figure. So I wouldn't be too worried as long as the docs are aware.

Do you think your sister will go ahead with the 2 year check? Because it's not compulsory. Hopefully she will. I remember being very sensitive about DS1's speech development (or lack of). Weirdly when I did go ahead and get a SALT referral all the people who'd kept commenting on his lack of speech then started saying he was fine! He was dx with ASD at just over 3. His speech took a huge leap forward - his Yr3 teacher used to refer to him as her thesaurus - but other difficulties remained.

My DS didn't say a single word or babble speak until after his 2nd birthday.

I only got worried when comparing him to his peers so pushed referrals through my HV for speech therapy and a hearing test. All came back fine.

At speech therapy all they looked for at that age was that he could understand language

SALT provision varies greatly. The area I'm in are keen to see children as young as possible and DS1 was seen under 2 and DS3 around 2.5. DS3 was flagged as no concerns on his 2 year check - it is just a basic screening check and isn't anything like a full SALT assessment. He appeared to have good understanding, as did DS1, but they were both actually more impaired there then in expressive.

My DS started nursery at the exact same age as your nephew, the teachers there spoke to me about his speech, they said they thought he was a slow talker and may have problems so said about going to a speech therapist. By the time the appointment came around he was probably around 2yr 4 months and still a slow speaker. The therapist did what they do, and had no concerns, he soon started speaking when he wanted a certain toy at nursery or whatever. See how he goes, he might just need some encouragement. My DS doesn't shut up now lol.

I took DS 2years 9 months doctors last week as he doesn't speak yet either and the go wasn't concerned at all. I was told at this age especially if not going to nursery then it wasn't really a delay in speech and they don't refer to 3 or 4 years of age depending on if they go nursery or not. He also said they learn better from other children.

They did however send him for a hearing test just to make sure and he passed the hearing test.

My ds didn’t speak until he was 3.5 . I was worried sick but once he started he never stopped! He’s now 10 and I sometimes hide in bathroom to get 2 minutes peace

My son was language delayed and his pediatrician spotted it at about 2 years. It was a serious issue for him and he had speech therapy because of it. It delayed his reading as well and he really struggled in the early school years, even with the extra support.

Sometimes it's nothing, sometimes it's serious. Encourage her to stay on top of it.

You mention his dummy... does he have it in a lot? Most of the time? I am not anti dummy, but apparently if they are used a lot it can delay speech/ babbling as the child always has something in its mouth so can't.

Just another angle to consider, although as everyone has said at that age it is unlikely to be anything to worry about.

It could be nothing, DS1 didn't talk properly until he started nursery at 3 - I always understood him so he didn't need to. Once he was at nursery and around people who couldn't always understand him he caught right up. He's 8 now and his speech is fine.

I remember someone telling me that there were broadly three types of kids when it comes to speaking.
And in my line of work I often come across a 4th type... children with hearing loss whose speech is delayed or conflicted because they're not hearing fully and so can't replicate speech sounds properly.

how they use to do rough hearing check: stand behind him first on left side than on right gently rustle paper see if he reacts
I would sincerely hope no professionals do a hearing test anything like this now as it shows nothing. Hearing loss is very rarely a flat line so a child may well hear amd react to sounds at certain frequencies and not others. It's really important to get hearing checked properly.

The questions on the 27 month questionnaire that they used for my little one’s 2 year check seem to check for understanding and speech. You can google it but there are questions like does you child understand these instructions ‘bring me a towel’. ‘Can you child name at least 7 body parts?’. ‘Does your child use me/I/mine correctly?’. ‘Does your child make sentences that are 3-4 words long?’

While they don’t need to say yes to all of them to be seen as developing normally, I’d have thought having no words at all would certainly be flagged though the questionnaire.

@MyOtherProfile Sorry you're totally right I should have said three types of typically developing children. Of course there are children whose speech doesn't develop typically either because of hearing or developmental issues. I definitely am not encouraging OP to just ignore the problem.

Another her saying try to encourage your sis to get his hearing checked (by an audiologist, not HV!) And when you say you'll ask her if he's had his hearing test, i assume you mean the newborn hearing screen? All sorts of things can happen with hearing between birth and 2, such as glue ear, progressive hearing loss, etc, causing difficulty hearing. I know you say his understanding is good though, which is great, but worth checking his hearing to rule that out if nothing else (my dd passed her newborn screen, but was actually profoundly deaf from birth! HV didn't believe me at 8/9 months that she could be deaf, it took a consultant in audiovestibular medicine to identify the rare condition she has... What I'm trying to say is don't assume that passed newborn hearing check = hearing fine!)

Also, 2 year HV check is not compulsory. I didn't go due to scheduling difficulties, and I didn't feel like the communication questions were relevant to my deaf child. They had no problem with us not going, certainly didn't push it.

Sorry if it's already been asked, but does he go to a nursery, or other setting, and have they raised any concerns?

My ds has fewer than five words at 24 months but more than you could ever count at 27 months.
We had our two year check at 27 months and my hv said she finds this often. If they do them at 24 months exactly there are lots of concerned parents, wait three months and the vast majority are totally fine. My ds has spoken clearly and in complex sentences from the start. Some just don’t do it till they can.

So, yes the child will be checked at around 2 but if there is an issue it’s likely they’ll wait 6 months before taking action.

DS is 2.5 and still has only a few, indistinct words. We've done as follows:

Hearing test. The HV referred us. It was totally non-invasive and not at all unpleasant, and ruled out any problems - so if your DSis is worried it would be an ordeal, it's not.

Speech therapy drop in sessions - we've been to a couple. We also get good support from the SENCO sat his preschool. And they all recommend signing, which he has taken to pretty well. Speech wise he can say 'yes', 'tractor', 'down', 'go', 'drink', 'doggie' and 'Dada', but he can sign Mummy, Daddy, car, bike, friends, his name, love, home, dog and eat - he's picked all those up in a few weeks. It's relieved his frustration no end. We learn from Mr Tumble so do encourage that.

We concentrate a lot on eye contact - DS has also recently got glasses and I'm sure he's making more eye contact now. Eye contact is essential (I'm told) as one of the foundations of speech so games to encourage that are great. Also games that have turn taking (I'll put a piece of the puzzle in, you put a piece in) and ones where you can do 'ready steady go', like building towers, then knocking them down. You do the 'ready, steady...' and see if they'll do the 'GO!'.

These are all things your DSis can do that are fun and easy, and will keep him occupied, but will also potentially help his speech. He's still only two, it may not be a problem anyway, but these sorts of things will do no harm and might do some good. And seeing your child sign 'I love you' for the first time is pretty bloody adorable, so worth it just for that IMO

In the nicest possible way, you need to chill the hell out, pre-warning her HhV for crying out loud. As much as you love your DN, he is not your child and given your surprise that non talking two year olds are not as rare as you think, you’re coming across as a know it all when you clearly don’t. I suspect that your anxious vibes aren’t endearing yourself to your Sister and maybe the reason she is less likely to confide in you.

Enjoy your DN for the little boy he is and let his mother and the professionals do their jobs.

There was a much more relaxed attitude to it in my area I must say. My DD could only say mama and dada at her two year check. Her understanding was great, just no words. As she wasn't behind in anything else the HV just said not to stress about it and that she'd come back at 2.4 years to review - if there was still a delay then we'd be referred for a hearing test and SALT. By the time that rolled round (a month ago) DD had probably 50-60 words and was putting three words together, now a month later we're getting full sentences.

We had nothing from her, until one day it just seemed to click and she hasn't stopped since. I wouldn't ignore the problem, but at just 2 I wouldn't be tearing my hair out about it either and I certainly wouldn't be ringing a HV behind your sister's back! Mention it to your sister and leave her to it, I'm sure she's well aware that her child can't speak, unless she's neglectful or otherwise unfit then she should be perfectly capable of managing it without your input.