Fending off intrusive TTC questions

[NoImNotFuckingPregnant]

Have been trying to conceive DC2 for 8months now with no luck. I’m on my third cycle of ovulation induction but only my best friend knows this.

I haven’t mentioned to my mother that we are actively TTC butast year I did tell her we would like another baby. Since then she has constantly asked intrusive questions about it. How’s your cycle? Are you pregnant yet? Have you tried this? She has just now sent me a message asking how the baby making is going. I always answer evasively and have even tried telling her we are undecided on having another baby.

AIBU to feel like it’s none of her business and that I don’t really want to talk about it because it’s upsetting? She’s super sensitive and touchy and is likely to have a meltdown if I pull her up on it, so wondered if anyone has had success shutting down this sort of questioning politely?

So let her have a meltdown. What are you afraid of, that she'll ground you? Her ridiculous reaction to something you say is HER problem, not yours. It's time to stand up for yourself.

Tell her she’s effectively asking about her daughter and don in laws sex life and that’s creepy. Good luck I get the same as we have unexplained infertility ‘oh you’d be a good Mum when are you having babies?’ My mumeven said ‘are you giving me grandchildren or not!’I told her to get her nose out!

Don't be polite. Tell her to wind her fucking neck in.

She’s being impolite, so I’d be rude back. Start with ‘I find that very rude, please stop asking’. If she persists, ramp it up to what a pp said about basically you’re asking about my sex life. Enough. Stop her in her tracks.

Just say 'I'd rather not discuss my sex life and reproductive cycles with my mother in law. If we have news to share then we will share it, but until then please mind your own business'

I had similar with ttc number 2. After I mc at 13 weeks, it became even more hurtful and irritating. I was with dh one day when his aunt started going on about it being 'about time we had dc2' and asking us what our plans were, and dh just blurted out 'well, actualky Loki is barren. How is your vagina?' and stormed off. He apologised to me immediately and whole heartedly admitted he just lost it because he was so sick of people asking when they should mind their own business. At the time, his outburst took me by surprise and I found the 'barren' comment hurtful, but actually, his aunt apologised for being nosy and those who witnessed it backed off. I think what I am trying to get at, is you should be honest with your mum. Tell her it isnt happening as quickly as you would like and her comments are hurtful and making it even more upsetting. Be forthright and tell her to stop asking. My dh and I went through hell ttc number 2. A mc and a chemical pregnancy led to the biggest crisis of our marriage. Emotionally, both of us suffered so much. Protect yourselves and do not put up with nosy family members demanding access to your uterus. Good luck.

My FIL does this, most upsetting when it’s infringement of other people he knows who I’m not overly familiar with. I’ve stopped being polite.
My new answer is “so, how are the little blue pills going? Not giving you too much trouble? Does MIL think you’re good enough often enough” essentially just a list of equally invasive questions that are none of my business.

Infront, not infringement!

She has just now sent me a message asking how the baby making is going.

I'd answer -

''well, he took me roughly on the corner of the dining room table yesterday and we've done it doggy style this afternoon on the sofa. Think DH is wanting to go again tonight but i might settle for giving him a BJ as i'm quite knackered.''

And then send another message straight after
''or isn't this what you want to know ..?''

Usually a curt “you do realise that’s a very personal question you’ve just asked” accompanied by a death stare does the job.

A bit creepy your Mother wants to know so much about your sex life tbh.

I'm a bit torn here. You could tell her that it's not happening as yet, despite your best efforts It will more than likely shut her up. Or tell her you and DH have discovered a love of anal sex so it's unlikely to happen Any time soon. That will also shut her up....

Next time she messages you send her this link. I did this to a really pushy ‘friend’ who kept asking intrusive questions after DH and I got married. I made my point. We don’t speak any more.

If you find a polite reply, please let me know. Have been sufffering this for many years now (worse now we’re down the IVF road so everyone feels that our medical appts are a free for all). Sigh....

''well, he took me roughly on the corner of the dining room table yesterday and we've done it doggy style this afternoon on the sofa. Think DH is wanting to go again tonight but i might settle for giving him a BJ as i'm quite knackered.'

I'd be so tempted!!