To ask if anyone her is an adult with sensory issues

[Jaffacakesfordinner]

NC but regular poster.

Im just wondering about experiences of people who are now adult with sensory issues.
My niece is 7, mildly autistic but struggles daily with SPD (sensory processing disorder). Shes getting to the age now where she kinda understands what clothes will and wont bother her, that she needs to wear a jacket or shoes outdoors when its cold etc even though she wont really feel the cold like others do etc. However when something is wrong (clothes feel funny, socks arent right etc) she will go into full blown meltdown. There will be fighting, shouting, crying, anger etc. Its not behavioural as such, she has little control over a meltdown compared to how she is when shes just being a typical naughty 7 year old.

My question is how will this compare to when shes older? Will she have more understanding or will it still be as much of a struggle?

For context her main sensory struggles are:

• clothing..the way clothes feel on the body, tightness, texture, the cut and fit. She typically wears clothes a size too big

-smells

• lighting

• temperature. She would happily roll round in the snow in shorts and a vest and not realise shes cold..not so much a problem with hot.

I do and so does teen dd, but neither of us are autistic, so our response isn't quite the same. I do remember having meltdowns when young, but they were down to not being able to articulate the issue, and not being listened to.

Dd has more of a cold anger, is nt, and I listened to her, rather than telling her not to be silly and forcing it, so no normal tantrums, let alone meltdowns.

I suppose for me especially, it's changed with age because I have control. I don't have any concern that I might be forced. And for both of us it's about knowing what works and being able to make choices around that.

And ime for older dc/ adults with similar sensory issues who are on the spectrum, it's similar in that age brings a sense of control. Although understandably the autism complicates it in the way it doesn't for me.

I was diagnosed with SPD last week, I always identified as autistic but it seems I don’t fit neatly into autism or any of the other issues. I come under the umbrella of neurodiverse. They said neurodevelopment disorder non specific but definite autistic traits and sensory processing disorder.

As I’ve got older some of the things I struggled with as a child in the Seventies (certain foods etc) have settled or more likely I have adjusted. Some things though have persisted so I still struggle in loud noisy environments and I usually need to go and lie down when I get home from shopping or work and stick on noise cancelling headphones for some silence.

I can still meltdown and overreact to things. Thankfully DH understands me well and sends me offf to have five mins of silence.

My son is autistic and exactly the same.

I was able to hold down a full time job as a nurse and midwife but it was hideously difficult for me. I needed part time and much more support.

I do, but probably milder than your niece, no diagnosed ASD although hf Asperger has been suggested by a couple of professionals.
I don't have "melt downs" not sure I ever did, but I get very irritable, stressy and snappy and need to escape certain scenarios. You do get better at managing it though, recognising what will bother you and steering clear or finding socially acceptable ways to escape.

I have sensory issues as a result of aspergers. I don't have meltdowns as such, more shut downs. I can manage my own issues but I get very angry and moody over stuff and get very overwhelmed, especially when there is a lot of noise and activity going on. I need time out and quiet afterwards and to just be left alone, which can be bloody difficult sometimes as DCs don't seem to leave me alone and DH always seems to appear in whatever room I'm in (except the bathroom).

I've only been diagnosed as an adult, my family don't know and would never even try to understand so I've had to learn to deal with it myself. Mainly I shut myself off and know what I can and cannot tolerate. I hate loose things around my middle so always have a belt or something that is tight, I hate the cold and feel it badly so I wrap up, fingerless gloves are good and a scarf helps to keep warm overall. Now I have a diagnosis it helps me to understand why I get overwhelmed so I can either avoid situations instead of forcing myself to put up with it or leave when I feel it's getting too much.

With food, I stick to what I know and will eat. If I am going for a meal I'll check the menu beforehand and if it's something I don't eat then I won't go. My eating doesn't affect anyone else but I get very fed up when people comment on it.

Instead of meltdowns I get irritable, grumpy, snappy, moody. When I am like this I just need to be left alone completely and I will get over it in my own time. People talking to me or at me or following me and not leaving me the fuck alone will just exacerbate all of those feelings and make me even angrier.

I hate certain smells. I try not to breathe deeply, leave the room or hold something under my nose that I can smell instead. In work people often eat eggs, which I loathe and the smell makes me gag. I hold my coffee up so I can smell that or leave the room for a bit, which I can't do for long enough so I make a coffee and have that to smell. It's bloody awful.

I work part time for another reason, but actually now I know about the aspergers, I wouldn't want to work full time. I need down time and to return to my house where I feel safe and secure and not have too much noise and people around. I could not leave the house quite happily for days if it was possible, doesn't bother me at all.

Having people around who get these things, understand and take your lead would be hugely beneficial to someone on the spectrum. I get very annoyed as DH has not bothered to read anything about it and often questions why I am snapping because one of the DCs are touching me and I don't want to be touched or they are talking to me and I'm asking them not to, or I'm saying the tv it too loud and he insists it's not. I have 1 friend who tries to understand and doesn't make me feel like I have to explain. To have more people around me who did this would make me feel much less of a weirdo who doesn't fit in and just get on with everything like all the NTs do.

I’m autistic, diagnosed as an adult.

I’m a lot more about to deal with sensory issues than I was a child. I’ve learned more about what bothers me, and what I can do to work around it.

For example, as a child while I loved playing on the beach, I couldn’t deal with having ANY sand in my shoes once I left the beach.

As an adult firstly I am more in control over when I go to the beach, and being in control makes things feel better. Secondly, I discovered that wearing crocs instead of any other kind of shoes don’t bother me as much. Thirdly, I think I have been desensitised a little, I can ignore the sensation for a short amount of time (though the longer I ignore, the greater the chance of a meltdown later)

Also, I really like my job and the people I work with, which is a huge bonus, but it's not customer facing which really benefits me. I don't like dealing with too many people and I've been told by several people that what i am thinking is written all over my face so if someone is pissing me off, I can't fake it and be nice. I do find this ok over the phone as I can roll my eyes but have a good phone voice. I'd hate the business and unpredictability of dealing with people face to face. I like the regular, predictable aspects of my job and to know that I will see and deal with the same people each day, as colleagues not customers.

Thank you for all taking time to reply. Its really interesting to read.

We all try and understand my nieces needs but obviously we cant feel what she does so sometimes i think the meltdowns can be to do with miscommunication. She is getting better at knowing more of what will and wont trigger - its just hard in unavoidable situations like unexpected triggers while out.

Thank you agaon

Yes, I do. Usually around food textures when mixed. I've realised that my passion for cookery comes from a need to control what Is eaten.

I get quite stressed out if beans come near egg as the texture together make me want to vomit. Not the taste, just textures.

Things like labels in clothes feel like needles and I have to unpick them rather than cutting them out which leaves a stubby bit.

Lots of other sensory issues have lessened over the decades.

Childhood was hard work, as an adult I have more control and understanding of my triggers.

jaffa for me the feeling is an all consuming need to get it away from me, NOW, combined with panic of varying levels depending on what it is. Obviously as an adult I have better strategies to deal with it than a 7yr old, as well as having more control.

Sorry if I'm teaching you to suck eggs, but one thing that might help is knowing you have an instant source to get rid of it. So eg I taught dd to run and wipe her hands on my legs, which gave her a focus while I got out wipes/ water etc.

And it always made it 1000x worse if anyone asked me what it was or tried to help. Fuck off and leave me alone and I'll tell you later. 'What's wrong' was possibly the most infuriating phrase ever. Help removing offending item is of course different, just not back patting, stand still type 'help'

purple yabu to even discuss beans and eggs

Thehogfather

It once took every ounce of self control at breakfast. Family gathering, nice hotel, the morning after, and my breakfast arrived with eggs and beans on the same plate!

I only just coped. My DBIL saw my horror and removed my plate without batting an eyelid. Bless him. Saved me from the 'what's wrong' and 'you're being dramatic again' comments.

He's my hero

Hi, I do have sensory issues at the moment as a result of concussion related injuries. I have difficulty reading people's body language and verbal language. I have sensitivity to light and sound and being surrounded by too many people. I also hate being around large groups.