Will / power of attorney etc

[JustMeHere1]

My DH and I are married.
We have 2 children.
We have completely joint finances.
He also knows my medical wishes and wants etc.

Someone recently mentioned my DH wouldn't have the power to make decisions over anything & we would need power of attorney, wills, living wills etc.

Aibu to think that being married means he & I get total say over each other's health and finances if needed / anything was to happen to us?

YABU. No. Quite rightly so - some people find they're married to nasty coercive controlling types.

I don’t know, but what if (god forbid) something happens to both of you at the same time? You need a will for your DC’s sake IMO.

Banks and financial institutions won’t just accept DH saying “JustMe can no longer deal with her affairs so I’m going to from now on. Now how can I withdraw all her money to pay carehone fees?” They’re going to insist on POA. You can get Court of Protection after someone has lost capacity, but it’s harder than if you set up a POA it while you still have capacity.

And you absolutely need a will! What if you and DH die together? Who will raise your children?

If your house is in joint names (joint tenants) and all your bank accounts are joint names then you are right you would just carry on using the account and wouldn't need a PoA or probate.

This does not apply for any solely held assets such as ISAs. Or coin collections. Or gold bars or a car in his name or whatever.

As others have said you need a will for your kids. Not that I have one because I have never known who we would have asked to look after ds if something had happened to us, so this is definitely a case of do as I say not as I do!

I don't really know about medical decisions, I am next of kin for my mother for example, as she is divorced and am also an only child so I don't think there's anyone to argue with when it comes to health matters and my mum has a living will.

I only have a PoA for financial matters which we hopefully won't need but it's in place if we do.

A will not only to identify guardians but to avoid the stress of family members having to apply to be your executor, if it is all set out in a will and it is easier for them.

Separate POA for health and finances, finances most important so you can still pay bills and access resources. Most people don't realise how important this is and think for old people only, not true- what if one of you had an accident and was on life support?

COP is an absolute nightmare so best avoided!

Ahh crikey, this is all rather complicated! 😬
Thanks for everyone's replies!

You still need LPA for financial matters even if you are married and have joint accounts. Whilst you might get away with it if the bank learn that one person has lost mental capacity they can freeze accounts to 'protect them and that person'.

You need to think about all the things that could happen. Let's say you are in a coma for months or seriously ill and your DH needs to raise funds, or move house and the house is in both names without a financial LPA he would have to go to court which will be far more costly than an LPA and may drag on for months.

A will is needed unless you are happy to follow dying intestate and having those rules applied (e.g. spouse gets the first £250,000 and then the rest distributed to spouse and surviving children if you are in England).