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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Social media-free lives?

9 replies

Beanbag12 · 21/08/2018 08:45

When my first DS was tiny I found life very lonely and exhausting. I posted a few photos on Instagram (I had an Instagram but barely used it up to that point) and I remember vividly the first time someone commented on one of my photos that I didn’t know. She was in the same position as me, at home with a newborn who was actually born on the same day! It was an absolute lifeline making a friend in this way and we still chat 4.5 years later. Since then it has snowballed. I ‘know’ tens of online Mums and we chat and share snapshots of our lives. I have gotten to the point where I very rarely have my phone out of my hand and find I am obsessively checking Instagram and Facebook, sometimes it seems for no apparent reason at all. My DP has now said it has got to stop, it is affecting my ability to live in the here and now and he actually feels lonely as I don’t give him enough time. I agree with him, I’m impatient with the DC’s, constantly distracted, dying to find some time alone where I can sit and stare at my phone. I justified it to myself by thinking I’m documenting the time that the DC’s are small, but now they’re 4 and 2 and I’ve made some offline friends, I think now might be a good opportunity to step away and concentrate on my life and my family. I came off Facebook and Instagram on Saturday and I’m already finding my patience levels increasing and I’m finding time to read and get more done. So my AIBU is to ask if AIBU to think it’s possible for me to stay off social media for good given my level of addiction and to ask about your real life stories. Thank you!

OP posts:
Mindfullness · 21/08/2018 08:51

I came off Facebook 18 months ago as I found it made my anxiety much worse. I have not missed it at all and have so much more time to meet people in real life.
Good luck!

SilverySurfer · 21/08/2018 10:50

I've never been on FB or any other SM and manage to survive quite happily.

Storm4star · 21/08/2018 10:54

I've only ever used FB and I barely use that now. I agree people can spend too much time on these things to the detriment of their real lives. I think that given you've already seen benefits to giving it up, you will not want to go back to it all. Now I just need to find a way to cut down on my MN time Grin

Branleuse · 21/08/2018 10:58

I use mine far too much. Its really difficult to come off and means i acheive far less than i could.
On the other hand i do believe that in my situation it has saved me from social isolation and i do get a lot out of it too. I find it much more comfortable and easier to communicate online than face to face

BigFatBloomers · 21/08/2018 11:06

I love that you come on mn to talk about giving up social media Grin

Seriously, I know just what you mean and my DH feels as yours does. I was quite strict with myself regarding Fb for a while. I definitely got more done and was more present in my life.
One of the reasons I keep with it is that it’s the best way of finding out what’s going on in our smallish town - events, gigs, planning discussions, etc which I would otherwise miss out on.

Whatthefoxgoingon · 21/08/2018 11:11

I have a select group of close friends on WhatsApp, and I use MN for the anonymous chats. That’s the extent of my social media. I have never missed Facebook or Instagram etc because they’re full of randoms who boast and need ‘likes’ to validate their lives. It all seems a bit pointless and needy.

Beanbag12 · 21/08/2018 11:12

Ha ha, @BigFatBloomers, the irony did occur to me Grin

I was hoping someone would come on and say how dramatically their life had changed after coming off social media. I am finding it a bit hard, like when you deny yourself chocolate or something.

I just can't believe how much headspace it was taking up!

OP posts:
Frosty6611 · 21/08/2018 11:12

I gave up fb 2 years ago as I was completely addicted to it and it was giving me anxiety and making me feel shit about my own life looking at everyone else’s supposedly great lives. Also came off Instagram a few months ago as it was starting to make me feel the same way as Facebook had. Mumsnet is the only social type site I use now. If I speak to friends then we WhatsApp.
I definitely feel less anxious now

MissusGeneHunt · 21/08/2018 11:22

Am Facebook free now for over two years (I feel like a recovering addict saying that) and miss it not one jot. I used to justify it by saying I could keep in touch with relloes abroad but of course that's the joy of messenger as a separate app, and we send pics to each other via that. I hated it in the end, made me feel crap, and I now revel in good old fashioned emails and letters to keep in touch as well. Never done the others. MN I feel is different, it's anonymous, and I can walk away from any thread.

Be freeeeeeeeee!!!!

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