To leave my husband

10 replies

Tryinghardereveryday · 21/08/2018 00:41

I love my DH to bits. I have been with him for 16 years and we have one DD.
DH has had a very difficult upbringing and traumatic past experiences. He is a good husband and father.
The problem is he cannot keep a job. After about 18 months he will end up getting sacked for one reason or another. He is anti establishment and anti authority. He is a forklift driver and works in factories. When he loses a job I have to support us for a few months until he finds another one. I am constantly worried that he will lose his job again that I can’t plan anything for our future and I hate him for that. I’m waiting for him to get sacked again. He has experienced racial abuse at work and he is adamant that a manager should get sacked for this. He has become obsessed with it. I’m afraid the only person who will be sacked in the end is him.
Last week he had a formal meeting due to his performance.
I can’t help/make him keep a job. I am fed up with not being able to rely on him. I don’t see any other option but to leave him.

OP posts:

adayatthebeach · 21/08/2018 00:43

Does he have any male friends that are successful that you could ask to talk to him? I’m sure he doesn’t listen to your advice.

Dilligaf81 · 21/08/2018 00:43

Have you told him this? Has he ever had counselling to try and deal with issues from his past? Amazing what a bit of therapy can do especially when he could lose so much if something doesn't change.

Original poster

Tryinghardereveryday · 21/08/2018 00:48

most his family and friends are unemployed m. He is the successful one 😕

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Original poster

Tryinghardereveryday · 21/08/2018 00:49

He has never had counselling. We can really afford it right now

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steff13 · 21/08/2018 00:59

Had he contacted HR about the racial abuse? That's not ok.

This isn't going to get any better unless his attitude changes.

Dilligaf81 · 21/08/2018 01:31

Tell him to contact HR my company offer a free counselling service. Its over the phone and independent, i know lots of companies have this, see your GP or depending on where in the country you are there are free counselling services. I'm on Hampshire and steps to wellbeing are the free service here.

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/08/2018 02:33

The manager should have been fired if there was racial abuse!

There's no way he could retrain for something self-employed?

Hidingtonothing · 21/08/2018 02:53

There's no way he could retrain for something self-employed?

That was my first thought too, could he train as a forklift instructor maybe? The course isn’t cheap but he could work fairly independently, might suit him better. That’s not to say I don’t agree he needs to do something about his attitude, he definitely does but finding employment he can stick at is equally important and some people are just more suited to self-employment. PM me if you want any more info and I’ll try and point you in the right direction, I have a family member in the trade.

Original poster

Tryinghardereveryday · 21/08/2018 18:49

Thanks guys. I think he would be more suited to self-employments to. It would suit him to be his own boss. He is in his 40s and maybe too old to retrain?
I’m just fed up with the arguments

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Hidingtonothing · 21/08/2018 21:14

My relative was close to that age when he retrained, he’d been a forklift driver/warehouse worker for years previously. Sometimes a totally new approach to a problem is exactly what’s needed.

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