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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think these parents were rude?

26 replies

ThingamyJingamyJock · 20/08/2018 21:06

On holiday abroad currently with our 2DC (12 and 13). We were at a swimming pool today on the next complex to ours. Our boys met up with another boy (13) and they hung around together etc. Boy’s family had just arrived so wanted to go for a walk. One of our boys came over and asked ‘can X stay with us while they go for a walk?’ Boy’s mum hears and comes over and says ‘he’s begging to stay here...’ I feel slightly under pressure but don’t mind too much, so I say yes. I tell her I’ll keep a close eye on him. She says thanks and leaves. The boys are then on water slides, in the pool, at the toilet, in the shop etc and we’re constantly watching our to make sure this boy’s ok and we know where he is all the time. The parents were gone for over two hours! Our boys knew I was watching closely as I kept asking ‘does X want a drink?’ etc so after about 2 hours 10/15 mins, one of our DC came and said ‘X’s mum and dad are back now’. They had come back from their walk and found themselves some sun loungers which happened to be out of our view and just settled back down. No word to us. We saw them several times after that, walking right past our loungers to get drinks etc without even a glance in our direction. Rude?! I’m all for helping out but it feels like a case of CFery to me! Won’t be doing that again in a hurry!

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 20/08/2018 21:09

We we’re constantly watching to make sure this boy was ok

He is 13, he didn’t need watching all the time

YABU IMO

Enidblyton1 · 20/08/2018 21:11

I agree, though my DC are much younger.
Surely at 13 the boy didn’t need to be supervised by anyone? Strange she asked you at all I think.

TigerlilyMoon · 20/08/2018 21:12

I'm sorry Phallus but if you tell anyone you're watching their child (they could be 45 for all I care) or their mate or their purse then that's what you should do. I would have insisted my kid come for the walk in the first place then when we got back I would have told my kid he could find yours to play with by the pool. They were CF x

Polly99 · 20/08/2018 21:13

Perhaps the parents thought you’d just keep a vague eye out (which is what I do for my 12 yo dd), and that the kids would just be hanging out rather than you actively babysitting

Nothisispatrick · 20/08/2018 21:13

Did you really need to supervise them so much? At 13 yrs old?

Other parents probably didn’t even think to mention it as I doubt they thought it had taken so much effort on your part!

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 20/08/2018 21:13

At 13 he didn't need watching that closely. But yes, they were a wee bit rude.

Notcontent · 20/08/2018 21:15

I disagree with the previous poster - I think that around a swimming pool you do need to keep an eye on kids, including young teens. I say this as the mother of a 12 year old who is an excellent swimmer and pretty much lives in water.

upsideup · 20/08/2018 21:15

Hes 13, I'm pretty certain they wouldnt have expected you to keep as much as an eye on him as you did.

NonaGrey · 20/08/2018 21:18

To be honest I think your own children out you in this position before the parents did.

I’d have just said “no”.

Did you even have contact details in case of emergency?

BigBlueBubble · 20/08/2018 21:20

I wouldn’t have left my 13yo with complete strangers in a foreign country. It was a bit CF to ask strangers to watch their child in the first place. And they should have come and told you as soon as they got back.

TigerlilyMoon · 20/08/2018 21:20

Notcontent - I completely agree. Their son could be a crap swimmer or have an accident. If they are bad enough to leave their kid around strangers they've barely said two words to who knows. I know it's a stretch but imagine something happened and you lied about watching out. I'd feel like shit. Therefore they should have come and relieved you of your duties.

VladmirsPoutine · 20/08/2018 21:20

They are all at an age in which they don't need constant supervision so YABU. The parents might have thought to just leave them to it. If they were 3/4 years old you might have a point but you need to unclench.

Aprilshowersinaugust · 20/08/2018 21:21

So when you see them you say how much your dc want to hang out with them...

MistressoftheYoniverse · 20/08/2018 21:24

I think you got a bit too intense...and tbh when I say I'm going to look after a kid I treat them as my own and don't care what their parents do until they are out of my care...you should have just gone up to them and had a chat...

user1485342611 · 20/08/2018 21:25

Yes, they were rude. Obviously with a 13 year old you're going to feel a bit responsible for their safety and the parents should have acknowledged this and also come and let you know when they were back.

YANBU.

Boohissmiss · 20/08/2018 21:42

I think at 13 he will be left home alone etc so I don’t think they actually expected you to sit and watch his every move. More that if he needed help he would come to you. YABU

daffodillament · 20/08/2018 21:43

What cheeky ungrateful bastards. Costs nothing to say a quick thankyou for keeping an eye out !

GlisteningRipeElderberries · 20/08/2018 21:45

You did the right thing, and they were rude, not to appear and say thank you.
If anything had happened to said child, you would have been blamed, you did a kind thing, put yourselves out, and they were rude.

Pinga · 20/08/2018 21:46

He's 13 not 5. YABU

Returnofthesmileybar · 20/08/2018 21:48

Who the fuck leaves their kid with randomers in a foreign country Shock

CripsSandwiches · 20/08/2018 21:57

I think they were probably just thoughtless. If you have a random 13 year old boy in your care you obviously feel you need to watch him more than you might your own as you don't know how sensible he is, whether he's a good swimmer etc. Where as from their perspective they probably just thought he's hanging out with some mates by the pool he doesn't really need watching it'll make no difference to them.

Passingwords · 20/08/2018 21:58

No way I'd agree to keep an eye on complete strangers unless it was an emergency

Holyguacamoley · 20/08/2018 22:03

I think they were rude. 13 is not old enough to be left alone by a pool in a foreign country so they were relying on you to watch him, at least a bit, and then disappeared for hours and didn't bother to tell you they were back. They sound lax.

DoJo · 20/08/2018 22:05

I have much higher standards for watching other people's kids than I do my own - I know mine, so I know when they are likely to need help or whether they are likely to get distracted by a passing ice cream van and run into the road etc which you can't rely on with other people's kids. I would assume that the child was relatively sensible if they were happy to leave him, but I would find it hard to relax if I was supposed to be 'in charge' even if I spent the whole time telling myself it wasn't my problem!

Petalflowers · 20/08/2018 22:13

I think that was slightly cheeky. They should have come and told you and their son that they were back.

I think I would have been the same as you, in keeping an eye on them.

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