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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not know how to not piss people off

30 replies

KatnissMellark · 20/08/2018 20:27

When I go past them running? Several incidents now where I've 'surprised' people and they've looked quite cross...tend to run on canals/off road tracks/in country parks etc and I've tried a few tactics- shout 'runner coming behind you' or 'excuse me please' when about 15 metres away so I'm not on top of them when they realise I'm there, slow to a power walk about 3-4 metres behind them and speed up again once past them or to just run by without saying anything. Invariably they are shocked and a little bit cross, I always say a friendly hello and 'I hope didn't scare you' and usually get a scowl or sarcastic remark back Confused. Not sure what else to do

What would you prefer if you were the walker?

OP posts:
offupop · 20/08/2018 20:31

Ignore them! Sometimes I'm startled by a runner but so what

Didntwanttochangemyname · 20/08/2018 20:36

Just pass with enough space between you and ignore them if they make faces.

Original poster
KatnissMellark · 20/08/2018 20:40

I always leave as much space as I possibly can. Good advice though, thanks. Glad to hear not everyone is bothered by this.

OP posts:
EmpressOfSpartacus · 20/08/2018 20:40

I slow down & say Excuse me please, but then once they've moved over (assuming they do!) I pick up my speed again & just smile & say Thank you as I run past. If there are any scowls or sarky comments I miss them!

Excited0803 · 20/08/2018 21:34

I shout "bicycle passing on your right" when I'm cycling in the park, but sometimes people are just oblivious. Go slow enough not to hit them (obviously particularly sloe of they are old / have kids / have dogs, but apart from that just don't let grumpy looks get to you.

Excited0803 · 20/08/2018 21:35

slow if *)

Verbena87 · 20/08/2018 21:38

When I scowl at runners it’s because I’m consigned to walking by my stupid birth injuries and am furiously envious, so it might sometimes be people projecting their own issues and nothing to do with what you’ve said or not.

Normally though as a walker I try not to be a dick, get out of the way/apologise if I didn’t hear someone, and smile.

Domino20 · 20/08/2018 21:40

Yeah the 'runner coming through' thing sounds a bit demanding, say nothing and give a wide berth. People wear headphones a lot now, it's not your problem if they get startled because of it.

sirfredfredgeorge · 20/08/2018 21:49

Why would you not just make a greeting? "good morning" or whatever is appropriate, no need for instructions and it sounds a bit arrogant like you're not going to make most of the effort to pass safely as you should (unless you're on an actual running track where you'd be expected to have right of way).

I pass a lot of people on a variety of places, maybe I just don't notice the scowls, but people seem happy enough. I just go with the greeting.

CripsSandwiches · 20/08/2018 21:52

Unless you're passing very close to them or it's very dark or it's a person who looks unsteady on their feet so might topple over surely you just run past. I've been surprised by a runner when I was listening to music with headphones in but thought it was my own fault for wearing headphones no big deal.

CloudCaptain · 20/08/2018 21:53

Overthinking. Just shout a cheery good morning as you pass. Try not to push anyone in the canal. Jog on.

Original poster
KatnissMellark · 20/08/2018 21:56

Hmm, maybe I am worrying too much. I had an incident about four weeks ago where someone was really cross and told me to shout ahead. Tried that but seems to have pissed people off as well. I've just moved to a new area too so maybe just being paranoid. I'll go back to ignoring and trotting past or saying hello politely if they look friendly.

OP posts:
CherryPlum · 20/08/2018 21:58

If I heard 'runner coming through' I think I'd be half expecting Usain Bolt and his entourage.

I think your best bet is to just run past, ignore the scowls.

Permaexhaustion · 20/08/2018 22:02

Please, please call out , a friendly ' Morning' will do.

I have a small degree of hearing loss, and jump out of my skin, as I don't hear a runner or cyclist until they draw level with me.

Thank you.

RadioDorothy · 20/08/2018 22:02

Oh I always shit myself and clutch my chest dramatically when startled by a runner. But I tend to be the one apologising, because I should pay better attention shouldn't I! Only because my dog is somewhat aggressive and could lunge and nip if startled...that's why I can't wear headphones when walking her.

But without earphones I should be able to hear a runners steps anyway, so if I'm startled I must be bloody daydreaming.

Ikabod · 20/08/2018 22:05

Wear bells.

sirfredfredgeorge · 20/08/2018 22:16

Try not to push anyone in the canal

Glad to hear I'm not alone in that endless temptation as you run along a canal!

It's hard to resist isn't it!

Furx · 20/08/2018 22:21

I usually call ‘passing on your right‘ as I run up to them

Never had a bad reaction, as I draw level i often say oh I didn’t want to startle you or something similar.

Saracen · 20/08/2018 22:38

If there is plenty of space for you to safely pass me without risk that I'll bumble into your path as I suddenly spot a flower I want to look at and veer sideways, you don't need to say anything, just give me a wide berth. If the path is narrow then a cheerful "Morning!" would do for me.

Polestar50 · 20/08/2018 22:44

I agree a cheery ‘Morning!’ or similar is best. From quite a distance back too if possible.

I don’t know my left from my right without a few secs to think about it so that amount of direction sounds a bit too much like an order and is useless as I am equally likely to step in either direction. Best just to let the person know you’re there and let them move wherever makes sense to them.

You sound very thoughtful and considerate so try to ignore the scowls etc. Most are probably just reacting in that moment to the sensation of being startled rather than thinking you’re a dick.

On another point, I walk my dog a lot on woodland paths shared with runners. My dog will often be a little way ahead and I want to let them know that she won’t bother them but may suddenly turn it walk out in front of them. Too many words though and it tends to confuse people if I say anything. Sorry to hijack thread but what do you reck

Polestar50 · 20/08/2018 22:45

Oops!
Reckon? Stay silent or call out something like ‘She won’t bother you’?

PickAChew · 20/08/2018 22:50

Some people scowl at everything. I was behind a woman on a bus, the other day who was really jumpy every time people moved, laughed, or anything.

I wish more runners or cyclists would tell me which side of me they're on. Actually, it's not bad with runners because I can hear and feel the thudding but if a cyclist uses a bell, I can't hear it very well and can't make out where it's coming from.

RebelRogue · 20/08/2018 23:32

Just give them a wide berth and say morning/hello. If they're dicks it doesn't matter what you do,unless you stop running. If they're not,even if they're momentarily startled it will be fine.

I'm always startled because I don't hear very well and tend to be in my own world evenwithout a phone/headphones. So I jump and shriek the runners apologise and then Iapologise for being so ridiculous. .. it's all good.

victoriaspongecake · 20/08/2018 23:47

Could you carry & use a bike bell?

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 20/08/2018 23:51

Some people will always take umbrage at people who don't do exactly the same as they do at all times. These people just can't be helped. There's nothing magical about running past; what if you were just walking twice as fast as them? Presumably, you'll be wearing appropriate running gear, so they'll realise as you run past that you're exercising and won't be frantically searching for the store security guard Grin As long as you give them plenty of room as you pass, they're unreasonable if they take offence. It's public land, not their own private property.

Don't worry about them. Call out "Morning!" if you're that kind of person. You could even start singing opera at the top of your voice as you run - give your lungs even more of a workout Grin If you DID decide to go down that route, your worries would be over as you'd become a local celebrity and then everybody would be expecting you and then get terribly upset if they DIDN'T encounter you in the morning Grin Grin