Hi all!
Newbie here 👋
I’m in a bit of a predicament about relocating my family, hoping others can share their stories if they’ve moved their families away or just tell me I’m being totally unreasonable about this whole situation.
So my aunt & uncle moved south of the country and have been running a business down there for the last 15yrs. I’ve been visiting yearly ever since. DH has been going the past 3.5yrs and for the past 2 there’s been talk of moving down.
He started talking about it more this year, as my mum, step dad and my brother and sister moved down there and took over the family business (which one day will be mine). I’m very close to my siblings as looked after them a lot (we have a 15&17yr age gap) so it has felt like a huge loss since they moved. I’m also their legal guardian if (heaven forbid) anything happened to my parents.
Anyway, we’d started looking for work down there, had our house valued and about to put it on the market. Decided it was time to tell DH’s Mum. She went mad. Told me it was all my fault and told me to “pull my finger out my arse, get off my medication and get a job” (I have bipolar disorder). There was a huge falling out but we’ve since put it behind us for the sake of DS.
Anyway, since then, DH hasn’t spoke about the move at all. Everything has come to a stand still. I brought it up a few nights ago and he said if we moved then he’d lose a lot as his parents (MIL, FIL and his family -they’re separated, and his 3 half sisters) wouldn’t ever speak to him again.
Trouble is, we only have a relationship with any of them because we make the effort. None of them ever come to see us, we have to make time every weekend to go visit them.
The only family I have left up here is my Grandma and my Dad (who I never see) and my mental health has really deteriorated since my family moved. We’ve also had no end of problems around where we live, including a riot on our street at midnight one day last week. I’m at the point where I’ve had enough.
I completely understand how DH feels but since he told me about his family, I can’t help but resent them. He was so up for moving for several reasons, he loves it down there and never wants to come home when we visit, he knows our son would have a better quality of life and he’s ready for a change in his career. And just to point out, it was his idea in the first place, I always made it clear to him about leaving his family as they do have a good relationship with DS, so I’d feel bad enough as it is.
Sorry if this is very long-winded 🙈
Has anybody else relocated and how did it impact your family? AIBU to be upset that we’re not going?
Tia xx