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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Yes, probably but I'm really upset and need to rant.

18 replies

Lovecat · 04/06/2007 19:31

OK, bit of background:

Have recently gone back to work 3 days a week. One of the conditions I gave for increasing my hours from 2 to 3 days was employment of cleaner (used to spend 3rd day doing housework, realised it was rather stupid when earning potential far outweighed cost of cleaner).

Have not been able to find cleaner as yet(only been back at work 3 days a week for 1 month). House has slowly turned into pit of clutter and filth, held feebly at bay in kitchen but elsewhere...erm... Kim & Aggie would not be impressed. Urgent need for cleaner currently in abeyance as we now need to tidy away clutter so that potential cleaner can actually clean, iykwim.

So.....SIL offers to clean for us - she needs money, as still being messed around by a-hole ex, her house always seems immaculate, OH (her brother) says yes, she comes around today for first session. I have told her to fling all clutter into dining room and concentrate on living room, kitchen and downstairs bathroom. We discussed what I wanted doing and one thing I specifically said was can you clean the handprints off the doorframes in the hall.

I spent an hour last night and a frantic half-hour I didn't really have this morning decluttering the living room and kitchen so that she could just go straight in and dust/clean all the surfaces.

She rings me, tells me she's spent 5 hours cleaning, but hasn't had a chance to do the kitchen as 'there was too much to do'. I tell her not to worry, that is fine. I have had a pig of a day at work, am incredibly tired, dd is playing up both at nursery and at home atm, think, ooh, goody, nice clean house to come home to (pit of filth in dining room/kitchen notwithstanding!).

So...... the hall carpet has been hoovered. The sink, loo, and inside of bath have been cleaned, the floor of bathroom has been mopped. Up to halfway up the stairs has been hoovered. Toys have been put in toybox, old newspapers have been piled in the porch (?). Hoover has been applied to living room carpet.

The remaining clutter in the hall and living room has been put onto the KITCHEN TABLE, piled up so perilously that half of it has fallen onto the floor (either that or it got dumped on the floor in the first place). No dusting appears to have been done on the cleared surfaces, nor on the skirting boards, the windowsills, fireplace, bookcases etc etc etc. Cobwebs still in bathroom. Shower screen still caked in limescale. HALL DOORS STILL COVERED IN FINGERMARKS.

Now, while I'm not expecting miracles, part of me does think WTF WAS SHE DOING FOR FIVE F-ING HOURS????? Jesus wept....

And, because all the sites we've looked at quoted between £10 and £15 an hour for cleaning, OH agreed we'd pay her £12 an hour.

I really, REALLY, resent giving her £60 for this. I'm going to, this once, because it was agreed, but I also want to tell her that it is not up to my standards (sorry, but if I'm paying £12 an hour, I expect the place to be clean!) and if she wants to continue this arrangement then her wages have to be renegotiated. Feel certain this is going to cause a horrible row, but I am soooooo upset and pissed off by what I came home to - on my day off it took me 6 hours to clean the house but it was f-ing well DEEP cleaned and it was every f-ing room in the house, not just the bathroom, lounge and hallway done half-arsedly!

I feel like crying, I feel sick because I really don't want to have this conversation, in fact I know it's not a good idea because I'm so steaming angry, but she rang me to ask what I thought in a very 'haven't I done well' tone, and I had to say I'd call her back because I was feeding dd (not a complete lie) so now I'm just sick....

Aaaaaaaaaargh. With big hairy knobs on.

OP posts:
Rubyslippers · 04/06/2007 19:34

£60 - that is a heck of an hourly rate - i would want gleaming surfaces and a toilet i could eat my dinner off so YANBU!!

BTW i pay my cleaner £7 per hour and i am darn sarf (where betwen £7 - £10 seems to be the going rate), although i am giving her a raise soon ...

Dior · 04/06/2007 19:36

Message withdrawn

hifi · 04/06/2007 19:38

know how you feel, been there once with family and never again, its alot easier if you emploly someone you dont know.you are paying her quite alot, is she paying tax? we are in north london and the going rate is 8 to 9 pounds per hour. obviously more thru an agency but i think the cleaners end up getting around a fiver an hour.

LoveAngel · 04/06/2007 19:40

I'm in London and my cleaner charges £8 an hour and does a pretty good job - not a deep clean, though (she only does 3 hours once a week, so its a clean floors-kitchen-bathroom and do some hovering type arrangement). I think you are paying too much, for starters. I also think its dodgy to get your SIL in to do this. It was bound to cause hassles, as you don't have aproper employer-employee relationship and never will.

Find a professional cleaner, however you have to do it.
Afriad you are probably going to have to do the horrible talking-to-SIL bit, though arghhhh...

xx

Lovecat · 04/06/2007 19:43

Tbh, the money isn't the main issue, it's that she was here for 5 hours and... well, it's stuff I could have done in 1.5 hours. Add an hour for her being unfamiliar with where stuff goes (although she's been here often enough), but that's still 2.5 hours where I'm not sure what she was doing...

You are right, I said this to her (re. what if I don't like it?) when she offered, but OH leapt at it, I thought, oh well, it's his sister, but I just know I'm going to be the bad guy in this...

OP posts:
eemie · 04/06/2007 20:01

Wouldn't risk a row tbh.

Wouldn't make any decision after only one visit. I'd give it a month at least - she's bound to speed up and improve.

If not, you could say you've miscalculated what you can afford, so that it's not about her standards.

I have found the whole issue of cleaners very hard. Always paid top rates, rarely happy.

Nobody will ever do it the way you would yourself or the way you would like.

Have avoided getting a neighbour to do mine (though she was v. keen and needed the money) because knew it was bound to make me resent her.

I pay top agency rates in Surrey, which is about £15/hr, and still only get average job - but at least they always come and I get help which I really need.

btw I don't let them do the shower since I caught one of them standing inside it in her outdoor shoes. But we don't have limescale on the screen - just wipe it down with a rubber blade after each shower.

Sorry if that's off the point. Appreciate the need to rant - go for it.

Lovecat · 04/06/2007 20:07

LOL eemie

Yes, we have a shower scraper thingie - but the downstairs bathroom is the OH's personal domain (upstairs shower 'not powerful enough') and try as I might, despite the thingie and the spray bottle of 'showershine' ostentatiously placed by the taps, he ignores them both and the damn thing remains claggy and needs a good soak in limelite every so often to remove it all!

OP posts:
eemie · 04/06/2007 20:13

Ah yes

The OH.

He may do it or may not.

The cleaners hoovered round his pile of discarded pants on our bedroom floor today.

CristinaTheAstonishing · 04/06/2007 20:25

Lovecat, I was reading in the local magazine and a cleaning agency in Wimbledon charges £8.50 an hour. They specify min. 3 hours, otheriwse I was very tempted myself. I think £12 an hour is very much indeed. We had a cleaner before for 2h a week and all she did was the floors and put stuff away. Never ever ever dusted any surfaces at all. I never had the guts to say anything either.

Lovecat · 04/06/2007 20:38

CtheA, if only!

I keep seeing those agencies then I ring them and none of them go as far out as we are! (it's only just beyond the North Circular but you'd think it was Darkest Peru the way they go on!).

The only ones that cover our area charge between £10 and £15 an hour... we are in close proximity to Birds of a Feather-land and possibly this has pushed the price into the stratosphere?

OP posts:
CristinaTheAstonishing · 04/06/2007 20:40

I have no idea of the location you mention! I wonder if it's because you're in a remote place and they charge for petrol/travelling time.

suzycreamcheese · 04/06/2007 20:41

its a very good rate for a half hearted piss taking job..
..horrible to be in this position but ditch her its not good enough..otherwise the stress of paying for this shoddy job will eat at you..

you gave her a chance she blew it..

good luck with your job..

Dior · 04/06/2007 20:41

Message withdrawn

purpleduck · 04/06/2007 21:04

Cost aside, i really wouldn't talk to your sil about it. If it is really a big deal get your dh to do it, but it could turn in to one of those things, where there is a huge fallout. Chalk it down to a lesson learned - is 60£ really worth the damage it could cause? Learn from it, but i'd keep my mouth firmly shut! Good luck

jajas · 04/06/2007 21:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedtartanLass · 08/06/2007 22:40

Update please

saintmaybe · 09/06/2007 09:20

Try putting an ad on Gumtree?

zookeeper · 09/06/2007 09:36

I think for the money you are paying you could get a cleaner that does what you want - I would lie to your sil and tell her that you have found somebody from an agency rather than risk a family argument.

I certaily wouldn't keep her on as the stress will get to you.

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