Is this supposed to be so tough (small children)

[Chattycat78]

Just that really. Spending today with 2 year old and 3.5 year old as I always do when I’m not at work. I’m finding it so bloody tough ALL the time:

• takes an age to leave the house. They won’t put their clothes on; youngest won’t get in the buggy.
• if I need to go to the shops, the 3 year old has a full on meltdown so it’s impossivke to do jobs outside of the house too.
• can’t get anything done. House is a tip. Every time I turn my back they are fighting.
• Impossible to cook, clean, you get the idea.
• trying to work 3 days a week, but even that’s so tough as the amount of prep required makes it feel impossible too. Am also falling behind at work (too much work really for 3 days) and there’s a pending restructure, so if I get made redundant I have no idea how I’ll find the time to get another job (or indeed do another job when my head is so full of young kids and my brain doesn’t work anymore)!

Not sure what my aibu is really. Just hoping for some solidarity!
Anyone else in a similar boat?

April our buggy won't fit in the house at all! I have to carry them both down steps to the garage every time we go out and then it's awkward when cars are parked on the pavement etc. Double buggies are a nightmare!
My kids would love a fire truck museum - can I ask where it is?
I often take them to Sainsbury's as they have twin trolleys and the dts like riding high up in the trolley and waving at everyone!

You are not alone OP!

I have a 6 yr old DS with HFA and a 2yr old DS who's latest passion is screaming and biting. I'm home alone with them all summer.It is 3.15 where we are.We have already done baking, painting and gone swimming.They still seem bored and the whining is relentless.STBXH is nowhere to be found and hasnt been in weeks.

Waiting for bedtime and a glass of wine (while I cry into my pjs)

I think it's normal. Guess you have to keep repeating to yourself that you chose to have 2 kids and the reasons why! I only have one but would have liked another - I guess you have to try to appreciate what you have.

My saviour was walking. I had three under five and come hail rain or shine at some point of the day, usually late morning I would make us all get dressed and go somewhere. Local park, pond to feed ducks, through a field. Anything just as long as we got out somewhere 💐

Yep - hideous times. I remember writing a very similar thread about 5 years ago on here when my two were 2 and 4. I hated it.

Everyone told me it would get better and do you know what, it has. For the most part it's great fun now. There are still times when I would cheerfully stuff them back where they came from but mostly it's fine. They're fun and funny, engaged and engaging and just generally good company. They're literate and can be reasoned with, and they can wipe their own arses. All good things.

As a disclaimer though, it still takes a bloody long time to leave the house and I have NO idea why!

I actually insist that nobody goes downstairs in the morning until they are dressed and I include myself in that. Then we are ready to go out after breakfast. We'll have to be able to do it when DD1 starts school in a couple of weeks so I thought we might as well get into the routine.

It's the endless clearing up mess that I'm fed up with at the moment.

YANBU I’m about 6 months behind you and completely shattered most of the time! They just know how to push my buttons and every day I’m with them (I work part time as well) seems to come with a new challenge that results in my husband getting a text message stating that I’ll be ebaying one of them and which one would he like to keep!
My mum tends to be my saviour and will pop round for an hour or so so that I can run a hoover round or bleach the loos! Also, just having another adult in the house seems to make the kids the easier to deal with.xx

Mine are nearly 5 and nearly 2. Started so well this morning and took them out for an outing. Lovely on the way, all good. Then the whole thing just degenerated for a number of reasons. I ended up red, sweaty and cross. Annoyed about a work email received while we were out. And then neither of them ate their lunch.

Had it up to here and it’s not even 2pm.

That's why I had to put my DS into nursery two afternoons a week. I also work, but the two afternoons he is there I have them days off so I can get shopping done, do the dinner, clean the house.. all in PEACE! I love my DS but I completely understand. I can't go food shopping without him having a meltdown half way through, I can't go into town to get some things without him screaming and kicking to get out the buggy... so yeah! I understand and YADNBU.

OP, I could have written this post! The only difference is ours are 12 months and 26 months. I find it draining, especially as the youngest wakes several times through the night. Like you, I think my DP thinks I have the 'easy' part of the deal. Suspect MIL thinks similarly!

Michael McIntyre has whole routines around being a parent of small children.

Contains swearing.

YADNBU

Yep it's hard. Mine are 13,7,4 and 3. They are getting a tiny bit easier now but when they were newborn,1,3 and 9 I actually thought I was going to go mad.
I used to find toddler groups a godsend. A safe environment to let them play and usually someone would offer to hold a baby so I could drink a hot cup of tea.

Young children are difficult

Slightly larger age gap here. Very young for his age 5 yo (birthday yesterday) and 11 mo.

I thought I was doing okay until the summer holidays swung around, and now it's a serious struggle. Our home is a mess, I'm too exhausted to clean after they've gone to bed. I only get about 4-5 hours a night as DS2 is breastfeeding and still waking a lot.

DP does a lot of housework when he can, but he also works 50-60 hrs a week.

DS1 loves his brother and plays with him a lot, but every time I turn my back he's trying to pick him up and carry him, or being too rough. I hope I'll handle the older years a bit better. I love them both so much, but they're hard work.

It sounds awful, but I'm counting down the days until 4th September when DS1 goes back to school. I'm also a student nurse, and going back to uni in May. I'm not sure how I'll manage.

I love that Michael McIntyre sketch. So so true!!

5 and 4 here, 11 months apart. No idea how I got this far

5 yo just started school and 4 yo in nursery. Feel like I’m only just beginning to regain my sense of self!

Yes!! I’ve been feeling this a lot recently and my DH thinks I am being a dick because clearly it’s loads easier than his full-time job. And they are always a dream for him - but he very rarely has them on his own. And never when he also has to do EVERYTHING down to meal prep, washing etc.

Mine are almost 4 and 18 months. They are just starting to play together a little bit more (common love of Paw patrol...) and I have had to set aside any notions of being a screen free household. All about CBeebies for meal time and bedtime prep here. And they hate sleeping!

I work 3 days too and don’t feel like I achieve much on my job either. At least colleagues can be reasoned with...

Thanks everyone! All the messages really help (as does wine!- although not right now!).

Like the idea of putting one on eBay

In all seriousness though, I do appreciate what I have. I know not everyone is blessed with two, I really do. It just doesn’t make the practicalities any easier!

Especially if you have one with additional needs.

So nice to know I'm not the only one finding it exhausting.

Here for solidarity, my two are 13 months apart- ages 3&4. Today I've just about fed them and myself whilst having to make playdoh, pick up uniform for September and start prepping a roast dinner. I'm just about done in and the DH has just sashayed in from work whilst I look like something out of fraggle rock!
To be fair when I was working yesterday he hoovered everywhere; tidied the house, made the beds, walked the dog and dinner was ready for when I got in. He's doing this parenting game a lot better than me recently

I had three in 2.5 years and I barely remember those years in all honesty, I was on complete autopilot and basically felt a zombie.

It is relentless, it is tough and it is exhausting but it does get better the older they get. Mine are all primary age now and it’s far easier.

YANBU. It’s the hardest, most exhausting thing. and whilst the love and cuddles are everything, at times when there is fighting or the dinner you’ve slaved over is chucked onto the floor and 5 mins later they’re screaming for rice cakes, or when you turn your back for a second to answer the door and they make an enormous mess, it doesn’t feel like it all the time!

Just remember that the hours are long, but the years are short, and one day you’ll look back from the (comparative!) ease of older kids and really miss this time when they are tiny.

It's a MN classic but get a cleaner! It's one less thing on your plate and the cleanliness helps your sanity I think. YANBU

I found it helped to get a large broom and sweep the crap into one pile, all the rest of he house looked clean and I made myself look away from the pile of crap I'd just swept to the side.

It also stopped me tripping over trucks, trains and Lego!

Every little helps