To feel judged?!

[ItWasAlIADream]

I had an appointment today about my son being referred for possibly having ASD. Anyway I found some of the questions I was asked really intrusive and was wondering if they were normal or am I over thinking!

I was asked what jobs ive ever had, as in ever not just currently. If I went to university or college and what GCSEs I have, If I had friends in school?! My ex partners job, If I attended/attend baby groups, if I have friends with kids, when I said no their kids are all older as they mostly had children young (16/18) she looked really shocked. Aibu to feel judge?

I've had a question about coffee coloured birthmarks with dds assessment that wasn't on ds's 4 years ago

I think it would be a disservice to your son and yourself to cancel an assessment if the paediatrician thought it was necessary.

Don't feel sad, they aren't judging you or your answers as good or bad, they don't reflect on you that way, but they do need to ask questions that may seem irrelevant or personal to us without knowing the context.

Not the same but I had Psychotic Depression after my first baby and was very ill, with my second and third I had monthly assessments to keep an eye on me, I had to answer very personal questions and be quite blunt sometimes, it's hard to be open with a stranger, but they are doing it for your/our and the child/rens benefit.

Females are notoriously under diagnosed as children with ASD, the parameters for researching familial links to ASD are changing with each new revelation so I expect in 5 years time the questions they are will change again.

nouser - the birthmark thing would be to rule out a condition called neurofibromatosis. DS1 has it and there's a very strong co-morbidity with ASD, ADHD, dyspraxia etc. DS1 has just had an ADHD diagnosis and we were asked a lot of questions which might have been deemed intrusive. Didn't bother me.

Do go through with the assessment if they have pushed ahead. DD was dx a few years ago now and for each new support network you find it's actually quite standard questioning - makes you feel crap but I've had 7 years answering those same questions and judgements with various different agency referrals, both before dx and accessing support for DD after.

I Really dont think he has it though. He is just quite a shy child so that comes across as anxious to people he doesnt know. He certainly isnt shy around me or any of my family. I just dont want it to effect him negatively in the future. He is otherwise very capable.

it's quite hard to get a assessment so if they see something worth investigating I think you should follow it.

hes shyness may not be causing a problem now, as you can talk for him but as he gets more independent and has to deal with school, peers and life as he gets older it may bring even more problems.

the earlier the better. and hey what's the worst that happens? they say hes not on the spectrum. but if he is he and you can get the support to make life as easy as possable.