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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stbx behaviour

8 replies

Isitme13 · 20/08/2018 08:30

I have split from stbx. We are still all living in the same house, more than a year later. He refuses to move out, I can’t move out (sahm to 3 disabled dc, he is financially controlling so I don’t have enough money to move out).

The long and he short of it is, he wants to keep the house, but won’t come out and say this. The house represents around 50% of asset split, so while I couldn’t really care where dc and I end up living, it makes sense (to me) to not uproot them unnecessarily and to try to keep as much stability for them as possible.

I had a notification (of interest) from a local estate agent about a property I had never heard of before. On querying, it seems that stbx has registered interest, and put in an offer (without even viewing it!) on my behalf

AIBU to be hacked off about this? It’s just another control thing. I realise one of us has to move, I know he is attempting to make it be me and the dc, but to actually choose and offer on a house without even involving me (house is not one I would choose, and there are others in the area which suit better in same price range) with the intention that dc and I are the ones to move into it is surely beyond unreasonably controlling?!

OP posts:
AppleKatie · 20/08/2018 08:37

Shock you mean he’s attempting to buys house in your name? So fraud?

You need a solicitor not mumsnet!

Isitme13 · 20/08/2018 08:44

Sadly not committing fraud - it’s an offer only. Nothing committed.

It’s just the principal of it. He does not get to choose which house dc and I live in (if it is us that moves) - he doesn’t get any kind of say!

And that’s not even mentioning the fact he has offered in it without even viewing it himself (let alone giving me the option to see whether I would want to live in it!) - utter madness.

Of course it’s all part of his general game playing, but the pretend hurt and faux innocence when I called him out on it is what pissed me off.

He knows what he is doing, and I shouldn’t let it get to me, but occasionally something does.

OP posts:
flumpybear · 20/08/2018 08:45

Weird! Usually you need proof of finances to put an offer in - agree with above tho speak to a solicitor

longwayoff · 20/08/2018 08:50

You had better speak to a solicitor before u find he's sold your house and buggered off with the funds.

Shouldershrugger · 20/08/2018 08:50

Get a solicitor and go to court. More than likely you'll remain in the house with the children. Is he the father? If so, it could be that you and the children are entitled to stay in the house til the youngest turns 18. But fgs get a solicitor and tell the cf to cut this shit out. Good luck

Isitme13 · 20/08/2018 08:57

I have a solicitor.

Divorce is underway (decree Nisi applied for, but he deliberately buggered up his response form, so waiting to see if Judge will proceed or go to a directions hearing - more game playing!)

He can’t sell this house - it’s in joint names (about the only thing that is!)

If only telling him to cut this shit out would work!

OP posts:
Shouldershrugger · 20/08/2018 09:39

I can then only wish you good luck and don't let this prick get the better of you. Feel for you and your children

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 20/08/2018 09:45

Isitme13, you may be angry but you sound a lot calmer than I would be, so congratulations.

You know what you've got to do. Just keep on buggering on. It's not going to be quick but eventually it will be over. Good luck.

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