To consider fly tipping my 3 year old

[knicksfan]

Who hasn't had an ounce of sugar today yet this must be about the 8th time I've been up to her to try and get her to sleep and each time she is more wired than the last.
Send help.
If she wakes her older brother up that will top me off

JackReacher

Three year olds are fucking horrible creatures.

Whoever coined the term 'Terrible Twos' hadn't met a 3yo yet.

Agreed, Etsy - or the sadly lamented Regretsy. For when things you’ve made went wrong 😂

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.goodhousekeeping.com/home/craft-ideas/how-to/gmp2191/craft-disasters-regretsy/

Ooh ooh, there's an easy solution to this.

You have to give up all hope that they're going to go to sleep and stay asleep. Then they'll go to sleep and stay asleep.

The problem is that you truly have to give up. You can't harbour even the dimmest pinprick of hope that you will ever again leave their room and stuff yourself with Jaffa Cakes on the couch in peace. You have to accept that your life is now in this room, in the dark, having given up silently raging against the injustice the world and now just melting slowly into a blob of mute despair on the carpet.

Then they'll go to sleep.

Not really that helpful I know

Strikethrough fail.

My nearly 3 year old is like this. Last night by some miracle she went to bed on her own and went to sleep at 7:30. I was delirious with joy as this has never happened before. Then at 2am she was ready to start the day and asking to go and watch cartoons.

Thanks for that link stevia. I had to stifle laughs into pillow.

I remember doing the silent happy dance outside the bedroom door when I thought my son had finally gone to sleep - only to hear him in there getting his second wind.

He’s 30 now and looking back I don’t know where I found the energy to do it all, but it was well worth it.

I would say taking them to the park until 9.30pm (Regent's park, an hour and a half bus ride, we weren't actually in the park until then) seemed to work for my suspected ADHD nearly 7yo, but that's not much help now. Hope she slept eventually.

JohnnyMcGrath did you lose your shit? I would have. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I've been kept awake till 3 by 6 11 year olds having a sleepover. I'm about to get my revenge

My 3yo was awful last night too. He was up and down all night. And he’s not sick?!

I have an older child. Three was his worst age too.

This is giving me hope! My 3 year old is not keen to sleep at the moment and I thought I was doing something wrong!

Sugar doesn't make them hyper, caffeine does.

My 2yo wouldn't sleep last night either, I was at my wits end last night.

Food makes DS2 hyper. DD used to be the same. DS2 has never had caffeine, DD used to have a sip of coffee and that was it at 9yo, now at nearly 11 she hasn't asked for any for over a year.

Ds2 has never had any chocolate?

This thread is cheering me up. My 3 year old has just called me “stupid” and I’m now facing the prospect of 12 hours alone with him and his 2 year old brother. It’s raining, I have no car, and I also have tonnes of housework to do, plus some actual work (as in job work).

So you think we could club together and hire the child catcher from chitty chitty bang bang. That way we wouldn't even need to leave the house they would be collected from the door.
We're currently on holiday and the DC are up really late, still up really early and grumpy all day because of it!

Oh I like the child catcher idea though I was going to suggest hiring a skip: I have some other stuff to put out too.

My 3, nearly 4 year old sleeps fine but is really pushing all my buttons during the day time. He throws himself around, stomping and singing nonsense words, doesn't listen, gets a million toys out but doesn't play properly with them... I'm more irritated than usual because his 6 month old brother is teething and requiring every ounce of attention I can spare him. And it's only Monday...!

We’re on holiday and I think everyone is ready to murder one of the twins.
He got in a rage because I caught a crab for him earlier (he wanted to catch it himself), kicked me in the shin and ran off.
Took as nearly 20 heartstopping minutes to find him.

We were between the ocean and a busy main road in a foreign country so it was pretty nerve wracking.

Bedtime was hellish, the three younger ones were too excited to sleep till midnight. The ‘annoying twin’ kept fighting with them.

He also keeps shouting ‘PENIS’.

Would you not be better popping them on ebay? Fly tipping's OK but you could incur a fine if you're caught. Whereas by offloading via ebay, you might get enough for a spa day to calm the nerves

perfectly no, I continued reading Room on the Bastard Broom in a bright and enthusiastic voice whilst screaming inside and counting the minutes weeks till she is 18.

Room on the bastard broom

My three year old likes that book too

I feel for those of you on holiday with your mini tyrants. Every year we get the same shit trotted out by well meaning family members “oh let them stay up late, it’s the holidays. They’ll have a nice lie in tomorrow”.

Except they won’t will they? They’ll be up the same time as usual (6am!) screeching about cornflakes and asking inane questions (“do you like salad mammy?”), then by 10am - after 4 hours of me shushing them and threatening them with chloroform - they’re fighting, knackered and I’m about ready for some lovely gin.

At this point the rest of the bastards get up and start asking me why I didn’t let them lie in

Oh! eBay! Yes he looks angelic so I might be able to take cash on collection with no returns permitted and hope I can drive off before he launches into the PJ Masks theme tune at the top of his lungs...

Room on the bastard broom. quite.

Our current favourite is bloody effing stick man.

Oh yes pj masks. Mine keeps taking all his clothes off at the most inconvenient times of day (just as we have to go out usually) and declaring that he’s Catboy. Sigh.