To vent

[Wheresthel1ght]

I have been working for a company for the last 8 months. The reputation of the boss is renowned in the industry in our area and it isn't a good one. Until recently I had no issues with him but over the last 3 months he has gone from bad to worse.

I am belittled daily in front of colleagues and those who work for me. He tells me daily I am shit at my job and has admitted it is because he only like things done his way.

He has admitted to being unreasonable but spins it round to make it everyone else's fault. His management style is to shout and rant but blames us and our incompetence for making him behave that way.

After a particularly nasty meeting last week I decided enough was enough and tendered my resignation. He has refused to accept it and is insisting in a meeting tomorrow. I am dreading it. He is going to vile and I won't be allowed a Representative with me. We are a small family run firm, no hr and so he gets away with it.

How unreasonable would I be to refuse to discuss it and just work my notice and then leave?

Sounds like an awful man!
I would attend the meeting and tell him the exact reasons why you want to leave and stand by those reasons.

Go with it. Tape it. Play it back to him. Good luck op

I made it clear in my resignation why I was leaving. He denied everything and then blamed me for it all.

I genuinely love my job but I cannot work in such a toxic environment anymore. It is making me ill.

He got shitty with me for not staying after hours because I had to collect my child from daycare.

Make sure you record everything.

Would love to stone, unfortunately a previous employee tried to record things and he had a fit. Made us all sign to say we wouldn't use covert recording in meetings and I doubt he would agree to it if I asked. He is utterly un pc, any recording would win a constructive dismissal case because his behavior and attitude is appalling.

I have no case for a tribunal as not been there 2 years but I doubt that he would care.

He is asking another manager to be involved so am hopeful that he is more reasonable and will curtail some of the owners behaviour. But I suffer anxiety and this is triggering big time. I am more worried about tomorrow's meeting than I ha e felt the whole time I have worked there

Record it anyway. His rules don’t trump your rights!

I’m sure you are legally allowed a representative

Why don’t you call in sick tomorrow and take some advice?

I would say his behaviour is abusive. How senior is he in this family firm?

You are legally entitled to have someone with you, I am pretty sure.

I might be tempted to tell him that you record the meeting or it doesn't take place. If he kicks off then walk out, saying that you refuse to be treated like this.

If he starts ranting and saying that he doesn't accept your resignation then I would tell him that as far as you are concerned it stands and you consider that you are now working out your notice.

In the end he can't hold you at the company against your will.

You might need legal advice from someone familiar with employment law.

I'd record anyway. I'd also insist in bringing in 'a friend'. He can't dictate your every move. He's just a bloke who has a business, don't let him get away acting as if he is something more than that.

I'd take someone in and I'd record it. I'd get my support to start it recording as we walked in and not try and hide it. If he kicks off about it, state that it is being recorded so neither side can be misrepresented, you have brought support as this is an emotive subject and if this is not acceptable, then you insist they accept your resignation or continue the meeting under your requirements. Good luck

Thanks everyone. Meeting started well and then he started with a character assassination so I said sorry I can't do this and left.

The other director and my former line manager were there and were lovely. But I was not sitting there to be insulted and have him prove my points about him being a bully.

Have said I will go in when he is away next week and handover but I won't be setting foot in the building while he is there.

And it’s actually not a legal right that they can demand you work your notice, get signed off as he’s making you ill

Thanks user. The nice director knows I won't be in tomorrow and we have agreed to talk on the phone tomorrow to give everyone a chance to calm down.

I think I will try and see my gp tomorrow and discuss my options.

Someone asked his position in the family business. He is the md of our section of the business and his father is the chairman. I actually get on really well with his father, or at least did until this happened. I suspect that relationship will have been poisoned by things that have been said over the weekend.

I feel utterly drained by it all today. Have tried to keep busy since I left work as I need to keep my mind busy.