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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think this shouldn't happen at a nursery?

17 replies

Twolittlebears · 19/08/2018 19:31

DS (11 months) has been in nursery a few months.

One day last week I went to pick him up - asked how his day was and was told it was fine etc. But when I left the building I noticed he had a red bump on his head so I went back to talk to the staff to find out what happened.

The first carer I talked to said she didn't know what had happened. But after some discussion it emerged DS was unattended earlier in the day (ie playing where no one could see him in the room) and had started crying. One of the workers found him on the floor and assumed he'd fallen over. They checked him out and couldn't see any marks so assumed he was fine.

AIBU to:
a) be concerned that DS was allowed to be somewhere no carer could see him; and
b) be concerned that the incident wasn't mentioned to me until I found the bump.

Also wise MNers, what should I do? Pull him out?

Nursery spaces are like gold dust but I'll take unpaid leave from work if I have to to keep him safe.

OP posts:

Redgreencoverplant · 19/08/2018 19:33

I wouldn't be happy with that. When DS was that age he bumped his head a lot at nursery but each time I was informed and had to sign a form. Also a baby room shouldn't have an area that isn't visible to the staff.

JassyRadlett · 19/08/2018 19:34

On the first, I’d be relaxed - they can’t keep their eyes on every kid 100% of the time and sometimes a kid will crawl behind a tunnel or whatever.

On the second I’d be very unhappy that it wasn’t recorded as an accident with a form to sign, and given it was a head bump they should have protocols including a call to you and regular checks (veteran of nursery head bump protocol).

auntethel · 19/08/2018 19:49

Firstly, what would have happened if he hadn't cried? Would he have carried on playing unseen and for how long? Secondly, as far as I know all accidents should be recorded and treated such as cold compress on the bump. Then periodically checked, further recorded and parents informed and sign at pick up. Not very good then but don't think you should remove ds just yet. You could let them know of your concerns and see how it goes in the future?

Talkingfrog · 19/08/2018 19:53

You should have been told the truth. They can't have eyes everywhere all the time. When dd was in play group i had a bump note from the leader. They didn't see what happened, but my dd was upset about her hand and they could see she had a bite mark so they gently asked the children what happened.
I got given a bump note and an apology. We had regular bump notes during nursery and reception too.
If I knew my daughter had a mark I would let them know at drop off, so there was no confusion that it had happened there.
If you haven't already done so I would ask them to tell you next time, even if they see no mark at the time.

Thehop · 19/08/2018 19:55

I work in a nursery. There isn’t an area that can’t be seen, the play space is set up so that there are no blind spots. Nobody can each children 100% of the time.....unless you work in a nursery when there are a lot of you so you can!

If there is an accident we fill in an accident form and ask parents to sign it. With a head injury we immediately text parents and fill in a head injury form and complete monitoring throughout the day, calling a parent of concerns arise.

This is poor communication at best and I’d certainly tell them that you’d like to be informed in future.

snowsun · 19/08/2018 20:02

Unseen - he was behind a member of staff. Behind play equipment like a tunnel.

Unseen - left unsupervised, the room has areas the staff can't see without being in the area.

The first is ok unseen. Bumps and knocks occur and the same happens at home.

If it's a regular thing that they are hurt be concerned otherwise it's normal crawling baby occurrence.

snowsun · 19/08/2018 20:03

Unseen - he was behind a member of staff. Behind play equipment like a tunnel.

Unseen - left unsupervised, the room has areas the staff can't see without being in the area.

The first is ok unseen. Bumps and knocks occur and the same happens at home.

If it's a regular thing that they are hurt be concerned otherwise it's normal crawling baby occurrence.

WooYa · 19/08/2018 20:08

I also work in a nursery and if something happens an accident form gets written up whether there's a mark or not because (as you ovs know) marks can come up later...
if it's a regular thing I would be concerned but if it's a one off the I would ask them to keep an eye on him a bit better

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 19/08/2018 20:10

They can't keep their eyes on every child at all times.
You see "they" Is the key word,here. Meaning there are enough staff members to be watching every child at all times.
The staff should be aware of what Is going on.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 19/08/2018 20:12

It's not the fact that he bumped his head.
That happens 1000 times a day with babies. It's the fact that not one person in the room knew exactly what/how it happened

Mindchilder · 19/08/2018 20:16

Nurseries don't offer 1:1 care, so no they can't watch all children all the time.

If there are areas of the room that can't be easily seen then that is an issue. The accident form should have been completed and you should have been informed.

For me it would depend on whether this was a one off or not.

Goldmandra · 19/08/2018 20:16

Ratios in baby rooms are generally 1:3. How could every child have an adult's eyes on them at all times?

I would just ask them to review their accident policy to include notifying the parent if there is even a small chance that the child may have bumped their head.

As parents we don't have eyes on our children every second so I don't know why we should expect early years practitioners to be able to do that.

MichonnesBBF · 19/08/2018 20:21

As it wasn't seen and the carer looked him over with no obvious injuries, sounds like the bump/red mark came out later on so no need for a bump slip as there wasn't one, however they could have checked again a little later on but I will assume your child was happy and content again by then so probably not even thought of again by the staff.
Only you can decide if this is a dealbreaker for you and your child resulting in their removal, it wont hurt to speak to the manager about how this incident has made you feel though.

Original poster

Twolittlebears · 19/08/2018 20:26

@snowsun it was the latter - an area where the staff can't see without being in the area.

OP posts:

Fresta · 19/08/2018 20:27

How could they treat a bump with a cold compress if they didn't know where or even if he had bumped himself?

nokidshere · 19/08/2018 20:37

There shouldn't be any areas that can't be seen by a member of staff so you are right to go and point this out to them and ask how they are keeping your son safe.

Bumps and bruises happen all the time. It's a fairly rare baby or toddler who doesn't have a bruise at some point and I would be very suspicious of anyone (parent or carer) who is able to give a satisfactory explanation for every incident. The member of staff assumed he'd fallen over, checked him for marks and found none, so actually what she should have said was "sorry I/we don't know how he did it" He could just as easily have done it earlier or later in the day on a toy or something and not cried.

If you are otherwise happy with the nursery speak to the manager about your concern and keep an eye out for similar incidents in the future. But your baby will have plenty of bangs and bruises at nursery and at home and sometimes there just won't be an explanation of how they got them.

Mumashark · 19/08/2018 20:40

Initially I was going to say that sometimes they do hurt themselves without anyone seeing but that was before I clocked your child's age.

He shouldn't be unsupervised at all! I would be having strong words with the manager and would want it recorded in the accident book and a written plan of how they'll prevent it happening again.

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