To think we should reconsider how we spilt holiday expenses?

[PenelopePJ]

My boyfriend and I are on holiday. We splitting all the costs e.g. Accommodation/spending money/transfer etc. So basically we both put the same amount of money in the shared spending money and we pay for restaurants drinks tickets everything from there. The thing is tho my boyfriend picks up the expensive drinks and meals off the menu. And I pick something that I think I can afford. I get it he is on holiday and wants to enjoy but we're splitting everything and I am ending up paying for his pricy choices. He also often has more than one drink and I really only fancy one most of the time and a cocktail is €15 I really really want him to enjoy all the food and drinks and I wouldn't want him to not to have it but the thing is that I am struggling to afford it.

Can you ask that you just pay these bills from your own debit cards/cash instead? Splitting the costs more fairly?
It does sound a bit nitpicky, but how do you deal with finances at home? Do you live together and have a joint account that you pay the same into when it comes to bills and rent?

So he wants to pick the most expensive thing off the menu and expects you to pick up the tab? That is not on. Tell him you can't afford to pay for all his expensive choices so you cannot split meals equally - he will have to pay for what he orders himself.

The only fair thing is to not include the food in your shared resources. Pay for your food and drinks separately. Otherwise you will end up subsidying him.

So, talk to him. Suggest that you split the food by what you eat rather than 50/50. Tell him you are struggling to keep up with the money and as you don't begrudge him enjoying his food and drink you would rather change how you are paying. It's fair enough to split accommodation and travel where it's an equal spend but dinner etc never truly works out as 50/50 if one person is going to eat and drink more than the other. Or what about 1/3 to 2/3 split if that's easier?

he's only picking these expensive items because your subsidizing him, tell him from now on, you're both covering the costs of your own meals and drinks, sure you'll then find he often makes cheaper choices , nothing wrong with paying for your own!
enjoy your holiday!! x

So, are you topping up the shared money? Is it like a kitty? What happens when it's all gone? Or were you expecting to each get some back at the end of the holiday?

Pay for what you order . Tell him that’s what you’re doing before your next meal .

He is BU

Try alternating who pays each time, rather than splitting it. See if he chooses something cheap when it’s his turn to pay. If he does, jump in.

A BF worth his salt would be aware of this and offer to pay. The fact he doesn’t means he’s either unaware of the issue as isn’t really processing the cost, or he’s deliberately taking you for a ride, or he thinks ‘it’s not my fault she only chooses the cheap stuff. None of which are great.

It’s a good relationship test though. You must say something (or you’ll be signing yourself up for a relationship of resentment which will at some point break into the open). If he responds well... great. If not.... dump.