To ask my mum & mil to stop "popping in" for 2 minutes?

[Jackieyoulooknice]

Basically, my mum and mil both have a habit of popping in to drop something off/ pick something up a few times a week. i really don't mind, i love to see them. however, my 2 year old can't get his head round it and he breaks his heart when they leave, he sits at the window crying for nanny for a good 20 minutes when they've left, and if they do it just before bed or a nap then he refuses to go and gets really wound up.

I've said "he really gets upset, maybe it's best if you stay for an hour or drop the thing off/pick the thing up from in the garden" but they both sort of just brush it off and are like "oh he has to get used to it!" but honestly it's so sad, he just loves them so much and thinks they are here to play.

AIBU to maybe put my foot down about it? i don't want to cause trouble..

This might be a first. Someone complaining that mil/dm spend too LITTLE time at their house, despite seeing them regularly!

I don't think YABU to ask. He's only little, and as he gets older he'll find it easier.

But at the same time I can see why someone might not want to stay for an hour when they are just popping something along.

It would be no hardship to do as you ask leaving stuff in the garden, that seems like a very reasonable compromise.

Ha! yes i know it does sound a bit odd, i love them coming and i don't necessarily want them to come more often or stay for longer i'd just quite like the interruptions to the day to stop because my son apparently can't handle his emotions right now

Maybe it’s about setting your sons expectations. Nanny is here for a short time today. Set an alarm on your phone or point to the clock so he can anticipate what is going to happen. I wish I had my mum to pop in on me.

"Nanny is coming over for a few minutes to bring me xxx and when she's gone home again we're going to do (fun activity) won't that be good?"

Yes I think that is absolutely reasonable. Do it.

Perhaps they could save up their thing which they need to drop off/pick up and then they'd have a few weeks worth of things. Can't imagine what all these things might be, tbh. But then they could stay for longer.

Honestly it's ridiculous it's usually things like.... We have a relative who keeps giving my mil things to see if we want them before she throws them away, both our mums pick up a pack of chocolate buttons for dc every time they see them In the shop lol, or they drop in to ask me for that thing they leant me 3 years ago... I think it's just more because they both live very close they just drop in as part of their errands for little reasons but never want to stay as they're off doing the next thing on their list.

My MIL does this too. My DC are much older now and we didn't live near the ILs when they were younger, but I can see where you're coming from. It's hard enough trying to settle an excitable dog who gets all worked up about seeing his 'granny', never mind a toddler.

I found a way that works for me. (Grandmother)

When I leave my grandchildren, I don't make a song and dance about it. I creep out when they are distracted, with a nod and wink to their mother. Or pretend to go to the loo. I never say goodbye, in fact. It's the goodbye bit that upsets them.

By the time they notice that I'm gone, they've got other things on their mind.