To ask how you pick your battles with your ex?

[Pickmybattles]

Just that really, how do you do it or can you come up with examples of when you would have let something slide and bite your tongue?

I tend to call him out every time he does something, that i know he wouldn't like if it was done to him.

We still live together btw.

Example today: I had to go out, he was in the bedroom sleeping, I wanted to charge my phone whilst I was getting ready, we have two chargers but only one works properly and he was using it in the bedroom. So I went in, and as I was about to charge my phone, he got up and started shouting saying he's only got 2% etc. I said to him, I'm on my way out, my phone is dead and you're sleeping. He says it doesn't matter, and grabs the charger from me.

The thing is, there's been so many times in the past where he needed to charge his phone because he was going out and he would just take the charger from me. It's just the hypocrisy that bothers me.

So, should I just have let that one slide?

He has a very dominant personality and is very entitled , you can see why he's my ex. Ugh

To be fair, if my phone was low and charging and someone tried to take my phone off, I would have been angry too.

A small thing but you say that it is a common occurrence. I wouldn't cope with that so I would buy another charger, that's one argument less

The answer is to buy another charger and quash that row.

What other arguments are there?

I too am one who really tries to pick my battles but fails, so I hear what you're saying.
And I love my husband as well.
(Poor DH!)

Sorry I'm with your ex on that one. He might be an arse, but first person to the charger gets it, especially if it's at 2%.

You definitely need another charger. That's a non issue.

Taking a charger that's in use is not good, even if the person using the charger isn't using the phone. So I'd let this one slide for sure.
I'd also get a second working charger. They're a tenner or less in Tesco and when you do move out/he moves out you're gonna need 2.

But the thing is, if that was him going out today he would want the charger, and he would justify with that I'm the one who's home and can always charge my phone. That's what annoys me, the hypocrisy.

Yes will be buying a new charger

Right, so get another charger.

Do you have an example of another argument? Or are they all along those lines?
It's understandable that you have petty rows when you're stuck living with one another.
What does your future look like? How long do you both have to endure this arrangement?

Wow, how soon can you leave?

I’d go and buy another charger from joint funds.

I’ve accepted that my ex is and will always be self centred and thoughtless. However I’ve left, so it can only affect dc now. I pull ex up on anything that is dangerous to dc or if CM is more than a few days late but other than that, I don’t get involved.
Eg.choosing a holiday villa with a pool before dc could swim & buying a car which couldn’t take dc’s child seat.
Other stuff just isn’t worth the grief.

Seriously? Just buy another charger then your both have 1 that works and won’t have to argue like pair of toddlers?

Also if you aren’t a couple anymore why are you walking in the bedroom when his in bed asleep? That would fuck me off tbh, you aren’t together so what right do you have to walk in the bedroom like that

Example today: I had to go out, he was in the bedroom sleeping,

Are you still sharing the same bedroom? I noticed you referred to "the bedroom" more than once.

Sounds a hellish set up for both of you. No wonder tempers are frayed.

I agree with you re the hypocrisy though, assuming that your phone was also at 2% charge when he took the charger. Did you point that out to him?

That's a battle you shouldn't have picked. Buy another charger. Don't go into his room. He may well be selfish and entitled but both those things are unreasonable.

Argh, living with an ex sounds like a total nightmare. I hope for the sake of your mental health you can leave soon... and definitely buy a new charger in the interim.

We live in a 2 bed, we don't share bedroom now. He sleeps on the sofa, and I sleep in the bedroom. When I get up with the DCs in the morning, he will just go to the bedroom and sleep. Obviously space is limited, our clothes and other belongings are in the bedroom, but we just don't sleep together and if one is in the bedroom, we will always knock.

@ButchyRestingFace my phone was dead, not even 2%