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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Spiders

46 replies

grace7 · 19/08/2018 09:49

AIBU to ask if spiders can crawl back out of hoovers?
I have a huge and highly irrational fear of spiders, genuinely can't deal with them. Came down this morning to a HUGE, black hairy spider on the wall. Even DP thought it was a little scary and hoovered it up (he'd usually dispose of it outside in a glass). Anyway, DP heads to work soon and the question lingers in my head... can they come out of vacuum cleaners?😂🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
limpbizkit · 19/08/2018 11:19

@mereDinto I think it's an intrinsic phobia. I've tried to train myself to be less wimpy now that I have children. I can deal with small ones and even medium sized but big - I'm flummoxed. I'm terrified. I do believe from reading (can't reference it) that it dies stem from human fear of danger. We see them as potentially harmful even though most in UK aren't. I don't think it's a media hyped 'women's' fear. Although thankfully my DH doesn't seem remotely bothered by removing them Grin

LindseyKola · 19/08/2018 11:23

I’d think that most spiders are killed or severely harmed by being sucked into a hoover at speed.

How needlessly cruel. Buy a spider catcher device (the one with bristles not the vacuum style one), they’re been a lifesaver for my arachnophobia. But don’t kill a creature just because you’re frightened of it.

flapjackfairy · 19/08/2018 11:26

I know men that are terrified too. My brother has to get his wife to deal with it as he and both sons are useless.
I wish people would not think spider terror is some kind of pathetic attempt by women to get men to rush to their aid. I am the most independent person you could ever meet and would do anything to lose the fear.

patphelan · 19/08/2018 11:34

It's definitely not a feminine thing, it's fucking horrible. I would give anything not to have this fear. I hate the hairy scary bastards, I hate this time of year I'm absolutely terrified. I have plans in place if one turns up in the house so I'm semi relaxed. I live with my dc and I'm trying not to show them I'm scared but my 9 year old is now freaking a bit and I need to get a grip of this before the kids end up the same. I have 3 taxi companies who will come out to remove the spiders if I pay the fare, the Chinese delivery man helps me, my neighbour will come round if I need her, my dad, boyfriend (last resort he's scared too), could probably phone my ex (dcs dad) if I was properly stuck and I begged him. I have been better with smaller ones recently but in the past week I've had 3 massive fuckers in the house and I have the sense that there is another one lurking. Does anyone else get a 'spider feeling'? You just know that there is one somewhere close?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 19/08/2018 11:41

I am so enjoying all the 'pull yourself together' type answers.

A phobia is a horrible thing to have. The emotions and physical symptoms it causes are not anything you'd want to hang on to or nurture. If you don't know what I am talking about, you don't have a phobia...

Add to that the "ooh it's cruel" posts and you only get one response from an arachnophobe - "Fuck Off!"* You have absolutely no idea how ignorant and belittling that comment is!

What the spider does to me is also cruel. If it chooses to stop then so will I. Got it?

Irrational, an overwhelming and debilitating fear of an object, place, situation, feeling or animal. What part of that do you think any phobic person would not want to be free of? Look at how many respondents here have tried, paid for, endured, courses... and are still phobic!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 19/08/2018 11:44

Does anyone else get a 'spider feeling'? You just know that there is one somewhere close? Yes. The psychologist saw years ago explained that I am a 'scanner', I pause in doorways and subconsciously scan a room. If it fits with expectations I enter, if it doesn't I stop and have a deliberate look. It isn't infallible, but there is often a spider lurking...

.. thankfully poor eyesight and varifocals is lessening that behaviour.

LindseyKola · 19/08/2018 12:05

Add to that the "ooh it's cruel" posts and you only get one response from an arachnophobe - "Fuck Off!" You have absolutely no idea how ignorant and belittling that comment is!*

It was me that said it was cruel, and if you’d bothered to read my post a little more carefully you’d have seen i have arachnophobia too. Being phobic of something doesn’t automatically mean you have to or should kill it FFS.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 19/08/2018 12:11

Nope! I believe you may have a fear of spiders, but no true arachnophobe would be able to stop and have a thought for the feelings of the spider, they'd be too busy trying to control the fight/flight response.

Being phobic of something means you can't rationalise feelings about it, FFS indeed!

katielouise3 · 19/08/2018 12:11

Of COURSE it can come back out! Confused

kaytee87 · 19/08/2018 12:15

Eek I hoovered up a spider once then sat up til 3am unable to sleep as I was terrified it would get out of the hoover then climb upstairs to get me.
Totally irrational, I know.

ChinkChink · 19/08/2018 12:16

Has anyone tried those spider vacuum tubes? Battery operated - you suck them up and then empty outside.

Still a bit close for comfort for me.

And yeah - I didn't invite them into my flat so if they choose to encroach upon my territory they get what's coming.

One tip: talcum powder sprinkled around known hidey holes helps stop most crawly fuckers invading one's living space.

LindseyKola · 19/08/2018 12:18

Nope! I believe you may have a fear of spiders, but no true arachnophobe would be able to stop and have a thought for the feelings of the spider, they'd be too busy trying to control the fight/flight response.

Seriously, how dumb do you have to be to know so little about the breadth of psychological experiences of phobia while also trying to speak as if you’re some kind of authority on the subject? Astonishing.

LindseyKola · 19/08/2018 12:20

My friend claims she has a dog phobia. But she’s obviously lying, cos when she sees a dog she’s able to still think and has a range of options re how to respond. If she was a true dog phobic she’d instantly grab the nearest implement and bludgeon it to death, her fight and flight would make resisting that action impossible.

Hmm see how daft you sound?

BigBlueBubble · 19/08/2018 12:21

Spiders are our friends! They eat all the real nasties that you don’t want in your house. If you ignore them they will just wander off of their own accord.

bicback · 19/08/2018 12:35

Try spider peppermint spray for ie skirtings

limpbizkit · 19/08/2018 12:39

@lindseyKola I too have a dog fear. But it does stem from the real perceived threat that they could hurt you. Whereas a spider phobia is more of a disgust/repulsion in its roots. They certainly haven't died out so far from being squished by so many people. If only they would Grin

CuriousaboutSamphire · 19/08/2018 12:50

Lindsey That told me... except, I taught psychology at A level and degree level... I do know the difference between a fear and a phobia!

grace7 · 19/08/2018 13:38

Mm, I'm definitely going to ask my DP to deal with the vacuum when he gets back from work. So far I've been scrutinising the walls and the carpet very thoroughly. Can't get the image of the thing outside of my head! Hoping when DS is older he won't be afraid and I can get him to deal with them! Grin

OP posts:
grace7 · 19/08/2018 13:40

Oh, and my shoes are on. Makes me feel safer for some reason???Hmm

OP posts:
He11y · 19/08/2018 13:57

Re the spider awareness course: my daughter and I had a phobia. We moved out of the house if there was a spider and nobody to remove it. We never used the garden and we never opened windows. I’ve been known to strip naked outdoors when I thought one was on my back. Couldn’t sit on the ground outdoors, picnic benches were a no no. Wouldn’t go anywhere near a corner in the house and we’ve called people in the early hours of the morning to rescue us. I also told my daughter to climb out of her first floor window once because a spider was in the doorway and I couldn’t even go up the stairs to help her. It seriously affected our quality of life.

We went on the course after dismissing it several times previously, because, quite simply, we knew we had to do something.

When the fear of doing nothing outweighs the fear of doing something, you’ll try that something.

We were determined to give it our best shot because we simply couldn’t carry on as we were and, for us, it worked.

What worked best was them repeatedly letting a house spider loose at the end. They did it so many times we began to trust how they behave and what we’d been told all evening.

It was more than telling us about spiders - that wouldn’t have worked. Heck, my children couldn’t even have the book, Charlotte’s Web, because I couldn’t even look at a cartoon picture of a spider.

Nothing will work for everyone but the next step for us would have been therapy of some kind. Have an open mind and give it a go I say. One woman turned up and we knew within 5 minutes she wouldn’t last the evening - she didn’t want it to work - she just wanted to know a more effective way of killing them, not how to deal with her fear or phobia. She left half way through the hypnotism part and I’ve thought since what a shame for her that she paid the money but wasn’t prepared to face her fear.

He11y · 19/08/2018 13:58

Oh and I still wear shoes if I’m likely to encounter a spider! lol

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