Jealous of pregnancy?

[nickinic]

I think I am anyway.
I'm a long time reader but need some unbiased advice from the MN ladies.
I found out that an ex friend is pregnant. We fell out quite badly.
I'm 29 years old and broody, and this girl I know has had 4 terminations while we were at uni together and is younger than me.
I know it's none of my business, and I should wish her and her baby well - but I'm so miserable about it 😩
I feel worried that I'll never have my own 😕 my partner isn't ready, and financially I am struggling. And I think I may suffer with pcos, which is another worry.
I feel sad that I won't have much to do with this baby, (our friendship is not repairable), but I also feel ridiculously jealous, so much so I haven't slept a wink!
I feel like this girl has really fell on her feet with so much in life 😩
Tell me I'm a jealous cat? Or can anyone relate?
Need to give myself a good shake I think 😕

Did you fall out over the pregnancy? It's a hard one. I don't think that I could be friends with anyone who had a termination- especially 4 times. That seems excessive to me. I have known I've wanted a baby for years and in the 2 years we were trying and having 2 early miscarriages, I was very jealous of everyone with a baby or who was pregnant. It's understandable that you would be feeling this way, even though you're not in the right position to be having a baby at the moment. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all, it's difficult and they're perfectly normal emotions. I hope that you're able to start TTC soon and that it happens quickly for you. Perhaps, in the meantime, you could go to the GP and make sure about the PCOS and ask about anything you could do to make it easier to conceive? You could also casually plan a nursery or come up with names, something baby related to keep you occupied in the interim.

I think you are being unreasonable to judge her regarding the amount of abortions she had- you don't know the true reasons behind these abortions.

It okay to be jealous, but I think you should use your jealously to fuel productivity. Go the gp and get checked out, there are plenty of women who have pcos who conceive but for your own piece of mind a diagnosis is needed and you can obtain information regarding any fertility issues you may face.
Speak to your partner and have an honest conversation about children. I've read far too many threads about women who hold out for their partners to be "ready" for children and in the end it all comes to a head because their partners never actually wanted children and now it's too late for them. If you aren't on the same page, don't stay. Life is too short.
Start saving, babies are expensive and having some savings is just sensible.

OP I have PCOS, lots of symptoms, was told I would definitely need fertility treatment, fell pregnant the month I came off the pill. DH and I had genuinely prepared ourselves for not having children and still joke about that lovely holiday home we would've bought. Your issue is you and DP having different ideas about when you would like to have children, but you're projecting this into another woman's fertility and life choices. You will get to a point where you are financially able and DP is ready, don't see having children as a competition. I'm 34 and pregnant with our first, I have seen friends do it earlier and struggle financially or end up doing it alone, we waited until we were financially able, married (more about commitment and not having spare finances after DC, not religious), own our home and in good career positions. It's worth the wait.