Who should compromise here?

[ilovewelshrarebit123]

Yesterday I drove 260 miles to see my good friend that I haven't seen for 5 years. I'm staying at her house.

She's married and it's the first time I've met her husband. He seems ok.

Last night we went out for a meal with some other girls I haven't seen for years to. Just a meal, no drinks after etc

Tonight we'd like to go for a meal, me, her and her husband. Except he doesn't want to go, but he also doesn't want her to go (she's told me this) as she went out last night. He's refusing all suggestions of things to do and clearly has the arse!

It's all very awkward and we're just sat here in silence! She has nothing in for dinner and is mentioning a take away. He can't/won't cook so knowing her, she's reluctant to just say well I'm going out anyway.

We're good friends and I'd really like to go out, eat, and have a few drinks with both of them.

So should I just resolve by suggesting a takeaway and sit in the house, or let her make the decision.

He sounds mean. Exceptions are made when guests are staying and he should know that. Doesn't he want his wife to have friends?

I don't know what you can do though.

So what happened op?

He agreed to go to the cinema! All I've to eat since 1pm this afternoon is a Diet Coke and popcorn!

We've just got in and there is no food forthcoming so I'm off to bed!

ShumpaLumpa - a bit uncalled for. Having been with an abusive arsehole who treated me appallingly in private, but the rest of our mutual acquaintance thought was lovely (until the mask slipped one day & he grabbed me by the neck & screamed in my face while he was driving a carful of us round a roundabout, all because someone else had cut him up & I'd not made the appropriate noise in response), I can assure you I'm not about to go "out of my way to make excuses for abusive arseholes".

And TBH, even if they did have something planned, sitting in a huff & refusing to communicate with either the OP or her friend is hardly the gesture of a pleasant person, is it? I'm not sure why you thought I was excusing him - I wouldn't tolerate this from DH, but then I'd talk to him about it. And I wouldn't be afraid to do so, unlike with my ex.

OP - following your update, it does in fact sound like he's probably an arse. Hope tomorrow is better & that your friend is ok.

Did you get any breakfast OP?