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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU about DH's meek-ness

35 replies

gemini0555 · 18/08/2018 13:43

Ok so we have a 6 month old, he has 3 naps a day and is easily woken so when he is sleeping I put a sign on the front door "Baby sleeping please don't knock" because otherwise he is woken by couriers asking us to take in neighbours parcels all day.

This morning DH is home with me and the baby, the door knocks and DH takes in a parcel for a neighbour... ok fine, maybe they will just come collect it later, hopefully not when DS is sleeping.

DS just went down for his nap so I put the sign on the front door. 10 mins later a bloody knock, dog goes mad barking etc. DH answers, its the neighbour coming to collect his parcel, DH smiles, gives him the parcel "cheers mate" etc. WELL, I AM FUMING. By some miracle the baby didn't wake up and just about manage to shout "can't you read!?" before DH shuts the door.

He's totally fine with it, not angry or annoyed at all. I am livid and he keeps asking me whats wrong and to forget it, its happened now!

AIBU to expect him to be annoyed at this bloke, just a little bit for potentially waking his sleeping baby?

OP posts:

Raffles1981 · 18/08/2018 14:55

You sound a little ott op. But I used to go mad at anyone who made even the slightest noise around my newborn. Never thought to put a sign up though. My baby now sleeps through is tidying up, having chats, noise in the kitchen. They have to get used to noise. And when babies are tired they will sleep through anything.

BertrandRussell · 18/08/2018 14:58

Well, since the baby slept through the knocking and barking, maybe he has gone through the easily woken phase?

user1489701586 · 18/08/2018 15:00

So you depressed your annoyance at the noise which might have disturbed your baby......by shouting?!

19lottie82 · 18/08/2018 15:01

You sound a bit precious OP. I take it your baby is a first born? You’re creating a rod for your own back by trying to ensure silence while your baby sleeps. They need to learn to sleep through normal household noise otherwise your in for a hard time further done the line.

Sparklesocks · 18/08/2018 15:01

How do you know people are at the door if they don’t knock?

Merryoldgoat · 18/08/2018 15:01

Sorry but this is madness.

AnyFucker · 18/08/2018 15:03

You can't control the world around you for the sake of a sleeping baby

You sound OTT, and he sounds fine to me

Chill out

Crunchymum · 18/08/2018 15:03

Maybe it's your DH's way of protesting about your stringent rules????

19lottie82 · 18/08/2018 15:05

Your poor DH, you sound more pissed off he doesn’t obey your every command rather than if your baby was woken up, which it wasn’t.

Crunchymum · 18/08/2018 15:06

Sparkle I imagine the OP thinks the caller will go away and come back later? Which of course every delivery person / postie / tradesman / impromptu visitor would be more than willing to do

Fatted · 18/08/2018 15:08

I'm sorry, but trying to be silent for a sleeping baby is not a good idea! What happens when you have another baby? Is your child going to be completely silent for the baby? Nope.

Best thing to do is get your baby used to white noise. Stick it on for the naps and then you can both happily go about making as much noise as either of you want.

HumptyNumptyNooNoo · 18/08/2018 15:08

Put a sign up saying 'we don't accept other people's parcels /mail etc etc'

scrumplepaper · 18/08/2018 15:11

Sorry but that's really ott. Your baby is 6 months old. I could see the point if you were in the sleep deprived newborn stage but your baby is 6 months old.

Did the baby not waken up with you shouting either?

ShumpaLumpa · 18/08/2018 15:12

The neighbour was a prick for ignoring the 'please don't knock' sign.

If he was that bothered about his parcel, he should have been home for it. Twat.

That would have annoyed me too, OP. I hope he heard your 'can't you read'.

Who signed for his parcel?

Oysterbabe · 18/08/2018 15:21

Who signed for his parcel?

It says in OP that her husband did, can't you read?

I agree with your DH, it's a bit frustrating that he knocked but not worth getting stroppy with a neighbour over.

unfortunateevents · 18/08/2018 15:24

I hope you don't have a second child because the first one who you currently think needs complete silence to sleep will not get the memo and will spend the next baby's nap time racketing around the house with battery-operated toys. Honestly, babies will sleep through a lot!

HeebieJeebies456 · 18/08/2018 15:27

might be better to also display a sign saying "will not accept parcels for neighbours so don't ask"

LuluJakey1 · 18/08/2018 15:29

Our two sleep through anything. You are being too fussy OP. He'll never learn to sleep with noise if you continue to insist on silence in the whole neighbourhood
Your DH sounds just genuinely nice, not meek.

AdaColeman · 18/08/2018 15:31

Is this your first baby gemini?
Don't worry, baby will soon get used to sleeping through noise like knocking, shouting, dog barking....

Have a cup of tea, you will soon feel better.

LuluJakey1 · 18/08/2018 15:31

When DS was a baby, he hated unexpected sharp noises and would get really startled. At Christmas, DH took the 'cracks' out of the crackers so as not to startle him. MIL was a bit when he explained. He missed one and DS never batted an eyelid.

villainousbroodmare · 18/08/2018 15:33

We've all been there, and it is annoying but it happens all the time as life continues... Surely you'd be better off spending your time training your dog not to *"go mad barking"? Plus you shouted yourself. I'd suggest keeping your neighbours and DH onside, personally.

MarshaBradyo · 18/08/2018 15:35

The constant taking in parcels for the neighbours would annoy me more

Do you do it because they do it for you?

Otherwise I’d put a stop to that, it’s like central post around here with just our own deliveries

TomHardysNextWife · 18/08/2018 15:40

We've got a laminated sign on our door saying DELIVERIES FOR THIS ADDRESS ONLY PLEASE and it works well - one of our NDN's runs a business from home and it got beyond a joke taking in massive deliveries for them to leave cluttering our hallway up.

And start leaving a radio on when your baby is asleep or white noise. You never ever tiptoe around a sleeping baby!!

CherryPavlova · 18/08/2018 15:41

Bless. If the baby wakes, it wakes. You might be better off getting your husband to teach the dog not to bark at the door. Second and subsequent babies don’t get silent, timed naps they get to sleep wherever you happen to be - supermarket, school run, beach, park.

BoomBoomsCousin · 18/08/2018 15:43

You put a sign up explicitly asking people not to knock and your neighbour whom you are doing a favour for blythly bangs on door regardless because it suits them to do it now. Bloody rude of them.

But I would guess you put that sign up and are on edge about the knocking because it has happened to you a few times when you were just desperate for peace and quiet. It’s important to you. It’s symbolic. Your DH on the other hand, is not a keenly honed to all the little methods you’ve employed to try and make life feel manageable in the face of the terror that is looking after a new baby full time. To him it’s just a one off and is not representative of what feels like an eternity of endless crying. He was probably less aware of the sign on the door than the idiot neighbour. He wasn’t so much meek as oblivious.

The baby grows up and stops waking up crying at the slightest thing. Your relationships with neighbours and DH endure (at least, that’s what you should be aiming for!).

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