CF DRIVING INSTRUCTOR!

[GLASGOWGIRL82]

My dd(17) has severe social anxiety which she has been working really hard to overcome. She decided to take driving lessons to help her with that and was really excited and keen to learn although obviously nervous as anyone would be. She received funding to help her with the cost of lessons, in order to apply for the funding we needed to get a detailed quote in a certain format from the driving instructor we had decided to go with. That meant admitting to the instructor that we were applying for funding and led to her asking questions about it.

That's when alarm bells should have been ringing and I should have gone with a driving school instead. She tried to tell me that my would find an automatic easier and would find it difficult to learn in a manual car. She made that assumption based on the fact that my daughter was receiving disability funding despite being told that my daughter's only problem is severe social anxiety. It has no impact whatsoever on her intelligence or ability to learn new skills. However we got the funding and paid for the first block of 10 lessons.

The first lesson went well and my dd was happy and excited for the next one, she came home with her appt card and progress report and signed the terms and conditions at the back. At the end of the 2nd lesson the instructor told her that she was going on holiday for 3 weeks and advised her to book junior driving lessons in that time! I was really pissed off and should have complained there and then as I feel she should have mentioned her holiday before booking my daughter in for lessons. My dd didn't want to make a fuss so I left it but didn't book junior lessons as they are miles from where we live and not cheap.

She should have had a lesson when the instructor returned from holiday but she cancelled 15 mins before the lesson when dd was sitting ready to leave, apparently she had a flat tyre. Since then she has cancelled twice with 30 mins notice because she had a migraine and a vomiting bug. She rescheduled an appt for the 6th lesson and dd should have had that yesterday morning at 9am. However because of all the messing about we got the time mixed up and thought the lesson was 9.30am. Dd was ready to leave well before 9am anyway but only checked her text messages and realised her mistake at 9.15am. I looked out and no sign of the instructor, dd tried to text but no answer, she also ignored my call. I sent a text to ask her to contact dd as she should have had a lesson at 9am. I got an arsey reply telling me she'd parked outside for 10 mins but as blinds were shut she thought dd had slept in.

I sent her a message asking her to refund the money for the remaining lessons as they were too inconsistent, no flexibility with times and just not working for my daughter. I got a very cheeky reply telling me that she was not surprised as my daughter is nervous, not enjoying lessons etc. She said that she would charge yesterday's lesson as a no show and would refund the final 4 lessons (after initially trying to work a fly one and charge for the lessons she'd cancelled). I replied that it was not a no show if she made no attempt to let my daughter know she was outside, a simple text message would have solved the problem. I suggested that she should be willing to let it slide given that she'd cancelled at short notice 3 times and waited until we'd transferred £250 and signed a contract before telling dd she was going on holiday!

That pissed her off and I got a phone call telling me my dd was unable to learn, blatant lies telling me that she'd advised us about her holiday in advance, my dd was unable to learn, she's not responsible for letting us know she's outside. She said she does not knock on anyone's door and it's illegal to sound a horn at 9am, then she hit out with '" I'm not here to nurse your daughter by sending her a text message". That's when I lost the plot, I called her a stupid looking cow, told her to go fuck herself and told her she'd better get the money refunded. I also told her that I would be reporting her to DVSA. Admittedly not my finest moment but I'd been biting my tongue throughout her phone call given the tone of her voice and the sly digs about dd.

Anyway, apologies for the long post but can anyone advise how to proceed? I doubt she'll willingly give a refund now. I think it's disability discrimination and she told my dd she'd been giving an autistic boy lessons for a year after he'd had a year of lessons in an automatic. She's ripping the piss, she thought she would string these lessons out because my daughter had funding to cover it and she'll be doing it to other people too if she gets away with it. I only found out yesterday that she's told dd on the first lesson that she would find it too difficult to learn but that I had insisted on manual over automatic. My daughter's confidence has really been knocked because of her.

I have never heard of any driving instructor spending half an hour driving to a place for the instructee to have a go. When I learned to drive we spent half an hour with me learning the controls and how to use them, start the car, indicate, pull away, use mirrors etc and that was it. I drove all of every lesson after that.
She doesn't sound like she enjoys helping people to learn, especially more vulnerable learners.

She’s been teaching her own daughter to drive for over a year

My DD got into the driver seat on her first lesson, and passed 7 months later. She sounds a crap instructor all round.

She sounds very unprofessional and awful,she should!d not be a driving instructor with that personality. I would!dmakeca complaint to the DVSA.yes your behaviour fell short, but she behaved appealling towards your dd and yourself. Hope that this has not put her off my driving school I am learning with would never behave like that!

She's definitely trying it on.
My first couple of lessons the instructor drove first, but only a couple of miles, not for half an hour!
He also used to text when he arrived as I'd not see him otherwise due to a 10ft hedge!

It's common for the instructor to drive to a suitable location on the first few lessons. There's no way I'd have wanted to do my first driving on the road I live on. But half an hour away makes me suspect the instructor was just taking the piss, especially with everything else.

I’m wondering if we had the same instructor.
She just didn’t turn up for my driving test so I had to miss it!!! Thinking about it she never did refund me.

Small claims court and formal complaint.

I went through a few instructors before finding one I clicked with. That license will be so worth it if your daughter can hang on.
Don’t forget you can normally go with your daughter a few times if it makes her more comfortable.

Looking at the appointment card dd’s only had one lesson in 7 weeks and the cf phoned me and asked me what issues we had with her like it wasn’t bloody obvious!

Report her to the DVSA - all driving instructors have a code of professional conduct they should adhere to and it sounds like she may well have breached it.

I used to be a driving instructor many years ago and worked in a driving school office for 14 years - never heard of instructor driving for 30 mins - possibly 15 on the first lesson but no more than that.

Never heard of an instructor not making serious attempts to locate their pupil and if unable to then waiting at least half an hour. You have paid for that hour after alll - so it’s your hour - so for whatever reason if you’re a few minutes late going out the driving instructor should still be there.

I would seriously consider taking her to the small claims court too. I wasn’t sure from your post but she isn’t charging you for lessons SHE failed to turn up for is she? Either way to fail to turn up for lessons and then charging you for a lesson that your DD was a few mins late going out for (when she has made no attempt to let DD know she was there) is downright unprofessional.

I’m seething on yours and your faughter’s behalf.

She tried to charge for 8 lessons but admitted her ‘mistake’ when I pulled her up on it. She agreed to refund 4 lessons as she’s put yesterday’s lesson down as a no show despite the fact that dd was ready to leave and would have been able to leave if she’d known the instructor was there. She said she sat outside for 10 minutes but thought dd must have slept in so she left. I asked her why she hadn’t sent a text or knocked on the door and that’s when she got cheeky. I have no proof that she even turned up yesterday and I don’t believe for a minute that any instructor would sit twiddling their thumbs for 10 minutes and make no attempt to contact the pupil.

I agree OP. My son’s having lessons and overslept once - his instructor texted, then called him and then knocked on the door and finally put a note through the door. Your DD’s instructor made no reasonable effort to let her know she had arrived. It had nothing to do with ‘nursmaiding’ your daughter it’s to do with common courtesy.

My first driving instructor was aweful. He wouldn’t let me use the brakes as ‘women brake too hard’ and would regularly stop off mid lesson to do errands (like picking things up from his home or booking his dog into the vets). Total arsehole refused to refund me the last four of the block lessons i’d Booked with him on the grounds that he was still willing to teach me. He was through bsm as well.
Complain to dvsa and see if they take action. I wish I had, if nothing else for the satisfaction of pissing my instructor off...

I am an instructor, I always knock for my pupils if they don't come out when I arrive. Only time I don't is if they're in flats and they tell me to text once I'm there. I don't understand sitting waiting, that's ridiculous. I've been stood up several times but have waited up to 10 mins for them to get back after ringing/texting and knocking. So I find your instructor sitting outside just waiting without any indication of her being there utterly ridiculous and very suspicious.

In this day and age, the roads are so busy and congested that with many of my pupils I will drive them to a practice area for their first lessons. Some can go up to 6 lessons being driven, some more, all depends on their capabilities and where they live. If they live right in the centre of a busy town with loads of busy roundabouts then they will need to be somewhere quieter until they can confidently handle busy junctions.
However, i have never driven anyone more than 10 mins away, as it is a complete waste of time. A good and honest instructor will assess the closest spots to where a pupil lives, and begin lessons there. My main beginner spots I have are great for learning moving off and stopping, t junctions and then from there going out to quieter roundabouts/pedestrian crossing/lights etc.

Your instructor is completely unreasonable OP, she sounds so unreliable and horribly untrustworthy. I would definitely contact DVSA just so they can investigate. I hope your daughter is ok, it can't have done much for her confidence I am sure. Good luck with future lessons.

As someone with severe anxiety, I was told by my driving instructor (and 2 others in the business) that it is easier and less stressful for people like myself to learn in an automatic first. You can always go for the manual licence once you are confident and have a year or so of driving in an auto under your belt. No way could I handle a manual straight off. It might easier for your daughter when she next goes for a lesson (with a different driving school no doubt) to get her auto first. For people without severe anxiety, manual is no problems, but your daughter, and I, are not like most people. With automatic, you are learning the road rules, steering etc, but you don't have the clutch and gears and all that to worry about. There is far less involved than a manual. It does take a huge load off your shoulders. So maybe it's something to think about.

However, that instructor sounds like a nasty piece of work and you should definitely report her, and forward and any text messages you had from her. People like that truly make learning so much harder for people with disabilities and anxiety. Which is the last thing they need.

When I went for my lessons (ok, around 17 years ago admittedly) we paid per lesson, ie at the end of each lesson. I didn't even know you could pay in blocks. Until she finds an instructor that she is really comfortable with - and that is crucial, maybe just take it one lesson at a time, if that is possible.