To message party mum?

[laurzj82]

For context: DD (4) is on ASD pathway but not many people know. She rarely meltdowns in public (usually saves it for when we get home) and on the surface appears very sociable.

Anyway, she has a party tomorrow in a church hall and is starting to get very anxious because she hasn't been there before and doesn't know what she will be doing (as in is it soft play, music and games or bouncy castle? etc etc).

I'm a bit socially awkward myself and get things wrong. WIBU to message the mum to ask? Or is that odd?

Tia

I think that’s fine. I’d just say my dd gets a little anxious if she doesn’t know what to expect.

Message the mum but be honest as why. There is no shame in this and if you tell people, it might make life easier.

Totally fine, message her

You could reassure your dd by saying she can sit on your lap and look at what is happening? She doesn’t have to join in.

My dcs both didn’t like parties at that age. I didn’t big them up much beforehand - just said we were going and kept it calm. During the party, they’d sit with me. Took until they were about 6 for them to really like them.

Yes, send her a message. My DC is disabled and at the beginning of his school I used to text all the time asking for what the party involved so I could gauge how much support he needed.

Just say something like 'hi, looking forward to the party tomorrow! X can get a little anxious if she's not sure of what she'll be doing at parties, what is the plan for the party?'

Not at all odd to ask. Lots of young children prefer to know what to expect. Hope she enjoys the party!

Thanks everyone. Really appreciate your replies. She will be absolutely fine once she's there. It's the build up she finds difficult if that makes sense? Thanks again

Absolutely message her, and another sentence which could say 'just wondered, so I can support her' so you don't sound as though you're being nosey and precious!! Which I know you're not, I hasten to add!!!

Had similar issues with DS when younger, although no diagnosis, just needed a bit more clear direction.

Hope you and she have a lovely party!!

I messaged party mum and she was lovely! It's a bouncy castle and soft play thing. Thanks again everyone