Breastfeeding

[Gemdale]

I have just had my first child and am exclusively breast feeding. I have found this is one of the questions people always ask. When people say they are formula feeding they always give a reason like they feel they have to justify it. Surely if they are feeding their baby and its healthy it shouldn't matter how they are fed. I am bf cos its free. Are people getting judged for not bf. I find all I get is people saying I won't be able to keep it up for long. Is it anyone else's business how you feed your child.

I formula feed my DS because I want to. Nobody has asked (HCP) why I formula fed which surprised me tbh but I just didn't want to

*breastfeed

Congratulations on your baby.

Babies need fed and cuddles. Provide them and the baby will generally be ok. No one needs to justify their feeding choices to anyone

That's because until very recently in some areas mums especially, but both parents, were made to feel guilty for not exclusively breast feeding their baby by HCPs and some other mothers.

I have friends who mixed fed due to medical issues and when they were trying to exclusively breast feed their baby, their child was losing weight. After being accused of not knowing how to breast feed their baby properly and having a HV who specialised in lactation have a look, they were told to top up with bottles. However other HCPs still accused them of not doing the best for their baby even though they were all lucky not to have their child end up in hospital.

Eeugh this conversation again.

You'll find a lot of very defensive ff mums on here.

You can keep up with ebf though it isn't always easy - said by someone with a 22mo and a 6mo both of whom were ebf and both of whom still bf.

Mumsnet isn't a good place for bf support or advice if you find yourself needing it. If you do find yourself in that situation try finding your local la leche league on Facebook.

Good luck

Nope ff was the best decision i ever made as a mum. I never ever felt any pressure one way or other. Sounds like bf is the best for you. Whatever works! As long as baby is fed, clothed and loved. Enjoy the new born stage it goes sooo quick x

I have FF one, breast fed another (until they were 2y 8m) and I currently express for my 6 month old who has a NG tube.

I've done the spectrum. No right or wrong and absolutely no judgement from me.

This is why when I cared for women in labour, I used to always ask them, "How do you plan to feed your baby?" or "Do you plan to breastfeed or bottlefeed your baby?" This way I wasn't asking a leading question.

How a mother feeds her baby is a very personal choice.

I ff my three dds from birth, no hcp asked why and I certainly don't see a reason to justify or give explanation for a perfectly reasonable choice. It was absolutely the best decision for myself and my family.

Meh- probably because some women are made to feel if you FF your child will inevitably be obese, of below average intelligence with a terrible immune system. So there’s some defensiveness off the back of that.

My boy exclusively FF from birth and had decided to do this a few months before he was born. No pressure whatsoever from HV, midwife etc. Although I did get lectured for 20 mins by someone at my friends birthday .

It's no ones business how you feed your baby and ignore the people who tell you that you won't be able to keep it up for long. You can keep it up for as long as you and your baby want to.

Boring

Because women are made to feel guilty for formula feeding.
That's my experience anyway.

I had 2 children born with a cleft lip and palate, I was physically unable to feed them. Yet whenever I got out a bottle, someone felt the need to educate me on the benefits of breastfeeding.

Like I didn't already fucking know. People aren't stupid, they know breastfeeding is beneficial. However, there are MANY reasons it's not possible, and we shouldn't have to defend ourselves.

I think some people who ask are just trying to make conversation. Much like they’ll ask about baby sleeping, are they a “good” baby etc etc.

And try to ignore the people who say you won’t be able to keep up breastfeeding for long.
Many women manage fine with breastfeeding. I’ve breastfed 2 babies past 20 months, and I know many other women who’ve also breastfed toddlers. It’s not always easy, especially in the early days, but it’s very far from impossible in most cases.

I’d also recommend finding out how to contact breastfeeding support groups local to you (seconding pp’s suggestion of looking up la leche league on Facebook), so that you can get support if any issues or difficulties with breastfeeding do arise.

Good luck.

From what I have read in social media etc.

People who encourage breast feeding are the devil for shaming formula feeders.

Formula feeders are the devil for not giving their babies the best start in life.

Both advocates shame the other side and it's ridiculous. Not that that's what your doing but basically you can't win whichever you do.

I know everyone seems to have an opinion on how you should be doing it. A friend of mine has a child simular age and she has gone to ff. She has a lot more energy now and it's what works best for her to be the best mum she can be. I think that is all that matters I joined a bf group on Facebook. Thought there would be support and help but I left after 3 days as seems to be full of ridiculous comments or full of judgement. Like I said I'm bf cos it's free.

You ignore those comments love your not going to let your child go hungry! Regardless of why your bottle feeding you don't have to justify yourself! I've just had a baby girl and really did want to breastfeed which the hospital were fine to promote but never had the support so my girl couldn't latch on which made me stress and unable to provide enough colostrum! We discharged on formula (which wasnt a problem) and I got my own support, luckily my milk came in now were breastfeeding and expressing to bottle which is really working for us. She still has a shallow latch but were Gunna get that checked. You find your own ways and routine sod everyone else!!

I was made to feel horribly guilty by several people including health care professionals for formula feeding my son, despite not being physically able to following a horrific delivery. My health visitor told me I had failed him. After this I felt the need to justify to anyone why I was bottlefeeding. I’ve made my peace with it now. Ds2 is due in November and I plan to bottlefeed again and won’t be going into why with anyone this time as its my decision and I’m happy with it.

I BF my DD and got sick of comments from people who didn't get that BF babies feed more regularly eg. Are you sure she's getting enough milk? She can't be hungry again! Just give her a bottle to top her up. When will you stop BF? It's going to hurt when she has teeth!
I went to a BF support group which really helped me understand what was normal. Had I not had that I likely would have given up. I think more support and advice around BFing would be great rather than guilt trips but in the UK FFing is generally seen as the normal way to feed a baby.
Some people just have to comment on how a baby is fed and because it's different to what they did they don't agree with it.