To think employing a friend is a bad bad idea?

[geordielass301988]

Me and my DH run our own business.

We have a PA who is due to go on maternity leave at the end of September and we are in the process of advertising her job. It will be a temporary 12 month contract with the possibility of it becoming permanent.

We have a long standing friend who has a background in admin, which ticks boxes for us. The job is part time and fits around school hours more or less, which ticks a big box for her as she has 3 primary age DC.

I just don’t think it’s a good idea to hire somebody we know personally- expectations of favouritism, how awkward it would be if we had to sack/make her redundant and it just isn’t sitting right with me.

DH stupidly mentioned it to her last weekend without consulting me, and she has been texting everyday since asking about it- she doesn’t even expect us to interview her, she thinks she has the skills to do the job (and in fairness she has) but I’m not like that, and there is a possibility of someone more qualified coming along.

I’m just hoping to Christ she has mentioned anything to her current employer

AIBU?

Firstly what exactly did your husband say to her? Did he lead her to believe that the job was definitely hers?

Secondly what have you said to her? Shes been texting all week, have you replied?

I wouldn't hire a friend for all the reasons everyone has already mentioned. If you don't want to hire her you need to let her know ASAP. The longer you let this go on the more chance of you having a fall out over it. She may think you've led her on.

Your husband has put you in an awkward position.

Do you know exactly what your dh said when he mentioned it?

And why hasn't he responded to her texts? Surely if he had responded to the first one saying - well anything giving her a firm idea of what is going on (eg we will expect you to interview, yes, start on Monday, No, in retrospect I think it is a bad idea" then she wouldn't have felt the need to keep texting?

To be honest I am not sure who is being unreasonable - it could be her, but on the other hand your dh might have led her to believe she could just walk into the job and then have not been returning her messages, which would put you and him in the unreasonable seat, I think.

Great minds, Poptart.

Also - at this point I think your friendship is probably ruined anyway, if you don't offer her the job.

In my experience it almost always ends in tears.

My best friend became my cleaner. I can't tell you how badly let down I was. I had been friends with her for 16 years but now we don't speak and I still miss her.

Definitely a bad idea to employ a friend! It instantly changes the nature of the relationship.

Does she know your business, I mean how the day to day set up works? If not, I would say something vague about someone inside the company being willing to cover the PA work, so not needing to recruit from outside. She might see the adverts for the job but you could say that they had been placed before you found an internal candidate.

God no.

No way. The same is also true that you shouldn't work for a friend. I did it once and it was a nightmare, she expected me to be on call at all the normal times she'd text or WhatsApp me, and it really blurred the lines of our friendship.

Advertise the job, she is welcome to apply but don't give it to her automatically without even an interview.

I think this sounds the fairest thing. Although it's a bit of a red flag that she's texting you about it every day and is assuming you won't want to interview her.

I hope you've handed your DH his arse too

Baad idea. I worked for a friend and he was an awful boss- completely unprofessional in the workplace. While we're still friends, it made me very angry when he left things so disorganised and didn't answer the phone when I had angry customers in my face.