Aibu about this new guy?

[PP2020]

Im in a new relationship. Been seeing this guy for ten weeks and he kept asking whether we were an item etc and I've said yes. Anyway I went away to the states for two weeks and when I got there I messaged him to say I arrived safely. Was almost two days later before I got a reply asking how things were? Is this normal. It's left me feeling a bit meh especially as he was the one keen to get into a relationship and start labelling it.

How much do you normally communicate? I think he may have just been leaving you to it on your holiday? I wouldn't think it was a big deal personally (although like you I do like to keep in touch with partners so I can understand how you feel).

It would be normal in my world, (and probably wouldn't even register with me) but everyone is different. What's normal for him?

In my experience people who want a commitment quickly, lose interest, quickly.

I would be wary of agreeing to be an item, so soon.

I think its normal for him. He doesn't communicate a lot in between seeing me but even seeing me is about once a week. He works a lot and long hours. And when he sees me he's lovely but it's for a few hours in the evening and he'll stay overnight.

He doesn't seem to have the need or want to stay to see me loads whereas I suppose if I'm into someone I try and see them quite a bit.

And this is the difficulty. I know he's into me, he says it all the time and is very attentive when he's here. But I think for me it's all just fizzled out now. I feel like over ten weeks I've not hung out enough or for any substantial period to really build on the initial attraction and now I'm bored.

I feel terrible. I tried to broach this he other night and he got very very upset.

Anyone?

So you've seen him 10 times? (Once a week for 10 weeks ....) ...I'd say that's too soon for a big commitment and he's not that into you, regardless of how much he works. Sorry.

If you feel it’s run its course then of course you should end it - you can end any relationship for any reason, especially a new one.

10 weeks in you should be hot and heavy and it’s just not there. It’s a shame he’s upset but what are you going to do? Stay with him out of guilt?

he was probably worried you would meet Mr Big over there and drop him like the proverbial hot potato. ...he elevates the relationship before you go to prevent this.

How do you exit a relationship gracefully?

Not the point I know but exclusive after 10 dates???

Slow down!! Seeing someone once a week is perfectly normal for the beginning of a relationship, and I don't think it means he isn't into you at all! Being an item after 10 weeks for me means that you are basically agreeing not to see other people and to give things a go, not that you have to be constantly texting and seeing each other like he's your forever partner.
To me it sounds like he is into you but is a healthy person with a busy life and doesn't want to rush into things straight away. This to me is more likely to end up being a good relationship than those people who rush to see each other 24/7 after just meeting. If you like him, be patient!

Not the point I know but exclusive after 10 dates??

I'm curious at your surprise, how many dates do you think is standard then before you become 'boyfriend/girlfriend'?

Not sure tbh but 10 dates in there is no way I'd be agreeing to exclusive-not even for Tom Hardy...
Tbf though I'm married but if I wasn't I'd never do exclusive again so this may be colouring my view somewhat... 🤔🤣