Ready for baby to arrive already...

[QueenOfSoul]

Fed up of pregnancy. Anomaly on 20 week scan. Don't know if baby is ok. Fingers crossed seems to be my go to phrase. Extremely iron deficient and doesn't seem to be rising with medication. Morning sickness still at 28 weeks. Baby measuring a little small so going to growth scans every week. Can't have a waterbirth which was something I would have at least liked to have tried. Blood pressure playing silly buggers. To top it off I miss my partner who is away with work a lot of the time. I know, we all go through this and I'm not special. I'm struggling. I'm so unwell and somehow still working. Just...

The annoying thing is, I'm 27, BMI is 22.5, healthy, marathon runner, eat incredibly healthily.

AIBU to feel so incredibly fed up? After 3 miscarriages after 12 weeks I thought this was going to be at least a 'nice' experience. Everything seems to have gone wrong.

I'm convinced that the birth is going right be the cherry on the top and I'm terrified that it's not meant to be and I'll have a poorly baby.

Not sure what I'm after. Guess I just need reassurance that a pregnancy doesn't have to be all unicorns and rainbows to result in a happy baby...

A bad pregnancy doesn't always mean a poorly baby
I had morning sickness til 36 weeks, low blood pressure permanently, measuring small, migraines, sciatica, the full works, it was a horrific pregnancy

The only thing that was wrong with DD when she came out was that she was small with a low temp. She's now a perfectly happy 18 month old currently terrorising her brother

I hated almost every second of pregnancy, severe sickness, anaemia, sciatica, 3 incidents of reduced moment and another growth scan, the works. My recorded labour time was 1 hour and 45 minutes. It wasn't stress or drama free, and dd needed a little extra care after birth but labour was fine and she is healthy and so happy.

Shit pregnancy does not equal unhealthy baby or horrible labour. Most of the women I know who had easy pregnancies had awful labours, I like to think of it as some sort of maternity karmic retribution.

It felt like I had every problem you could have being pregnant and I truly hated it. However birth was 10 hours start to finish and he was perfect. My back is still a bit buggered but my osteopath is very good.

Me!! I had smooth pregnancies first two times and awful births.

This time I have issues.. SPD, potential GF (test on Monday), so hoping for a smooth birth this time for balance!

What was the anomaly? I'm sorry you are going through this, must be very stressful not knowing the outcome. Hopefully baby will be just fine x

*GD not GF

I loved every minute of pregnancy (once MS was over) and despite having a high BMI it was completely uneventful and healthy. Had a horrendously traumatic birth where both DD and I were in trouble at points, lost tons of blood and needed hours of surgery. Developed PND and loathed every minute of the first 3 months or so, to the point where I was suicidal.

One of my best friends was pregnant at the same time and absolutely hated pregnancy, had loads of problems including prenatal anxiety, was convinced she was going to hate her baby as she resented him so much when she was pregnant, was in and out of hospital etc etc. Had a totally smooth birth, fell in love with her son the instant she saw him and has taken to parenting like she was born for it.

It really sucks that you're having such a tough pregnancy. But it really is no reflection on how your experience of motherhood will be, I promise.

Hope everything goes well for you for the remainder and the anomaly is nothing serious.

Oh Honey I hear you! I hope that it helps to hear a positive spin on a similar story - where it turned out alright in the end..... I was told I would need IVF to conceive at all. I am in Australia and when I was looking, it cost around $10,000 per round. I resigned myself to being childless. I had a horrible sickness bug that wouldn’t go away and the “Honeymoon Surprise” has just turned 14. I felt like I was on a wildly rocking ship and puked day and night for nine months. On the Sunday night prior to th scheduled CS so none of the known crew. My daughter is amazing. Then I had further issues maintaining pregnancies. Several miscarriages (including a 19wk one), then MUCH more morning sickness, and twins! At 20 was I was told that twin B who was always MUCH smaller than twin A (nearly half the size) showed an anomaly that the doctor was certain was renal cancer. At that stage of development and with pregnancy hormones influencing everything, her prognosis was less than six months. At three months (when she was still remarkably healthy) we found out that she simply had a wonky-shaped kidney that had a delayed development and was in the wrong spot - but actually contributed to 37% of her renal output. She and her brother turned 12 on Wednesday. They’re fabulous, and despite the stress (which I am not sure I have never let go of) they are fine.

As PP I had a difficult pregnancy and an easy birth, 3mo asleep on me just now!
I really recommend doing whatever you need to do to get through this time, with some serious self care. Massages, reflexology, I went for acupuncture and sacrocranial therapy, really anything to help the stress. Look after yourself!!! Eat what makes you feel good, rest when you need.

I had every single complication you could think of, I really did. Liver problems, GD, SPD, morning sickness that improved a bit but never went away until I gave birth. I now have a beautiful little girl and I would go through every single moment of it again for her without hesitating. It will all be worth it in the end.

The pregnancy isn't necessarily a reflection of how the birth or the health of the baby will be. DS1 was a dream pregnancy but poorly at birth and then spent 12 days in SCBU. He's fine now (well, has a congenital condition but not life limiting). DS2 was a horrid pregnancy with many extra scans, tests and worries but a dream labour and he was perfect after. Home within 24 hours.

Have you talked to your consultant about what the anomaly is likely to mean for your baby if it turns out they are affected? Sometimes it's he fear of the unknown that is worse. Also, if it is likely your little one will come early, can you ask to have a tour of the SCBU/NICU. It's helpful to know what it's like in case you need to spend time there.

I was young fit and healthy before I had my baby too, I feel like my body let my down! From six weeks pregnant I hated every second of it due to a combination of HG, PGP and pre eclampsia, in and out of my GP'S and the hospital. These were followed by a horrible induction with pain that literally made me just want to end it all. Then the baby's heart rate started dropping so I had an episiotomy and ventouse delivery, thank God I had had an epidural by this stage though. Anyway my now 8 month old little girl is a very healthy, super contented baby, hardly cries and has never been sick! However I don't think I'll have any more children I found the whole thing that horrible and I still have PGP pain that makes me feel like a 80 year old.

YANBU it sounds really disappointing that you finally get pregnant and now you can't enjoy it like you thought you would. There's so much emphasis placed on leading a healthy lifestyle to avoid increasing your risks during pregnancy that it can be easy to assume that we have more control over things than we do. I felt the same when I got GD - of all the ladies in the hospital ward I was the healthiest - went for regular walks, didn't smoke, healthy weight, healthy diet, no family history. Why me? The doctor told me that actually most women who have GD have no risk factors - just bad luck.

For what it's worth this too shall pass. I don't know anyone, even those who had lovely pregnancies that think much about it once the baby is here. I had a terrible last few months of pregnancy and it was all consuming at the time. Now I don't think about it at all. Much too busy with the little ones.

Thanks folks. I guess I'm just feeling deflated and waiting for the next thing to go wrong. Desperate for my baby to be okay.

The anomaly suggests that the baby has a possible bowel problem/blockage. Also an echogenic marker on the heart. It's just a waiting game now...