Someone please tell me if Aibu

[kellzs]

One of my friends who I don't see often (once a year if that) was on a day out at the weekend with her dd. The day out was nearish my house.

She messaged me literally late last night asking if me and my dds would like to join them. It was too short notice for me to get the day off work so I said I couldn't but said I'd be home from 3ish if she wanted to call in for a coffee on her way home. She lives 2 hours away from me so I was hoping she would as not seen her in over a year.

Anyway on my way home from work, I picked up a nice cake and some muffins for her dd and mine.

Knock on the door at 4pm.

Dd answered it. I was getting changed out of my work clothes.

There were 10 children and 4 women at my door!

My friend had failed to mention that she was going with other friends and had brought them all round.

I'm getting changed, not knowing anything and next thing I know, I've got 2 random kids bursting into my bedroom telling me they are going to play hide and seek!

I go downstairs and my hallway is full of people.

I've never met anyone of them, don't have a clue who they are.

Kids running around the living room with shoes on, just had a new carpet put down - great.

Friend is all cuddley with me and happy to see me. I'm like wtf. She then explains they hired a mini bus to travel and are just calling in for 10 minutes to say hello.

So I get myself together and offer all these women a drink - they all decline. We all just stand in my kitchen while I've got literally 12 kids in my house running around. Chat between is ok but pretty uncomfortable. I think the ladies were as uncomfortable as I was if I'm honest.

Then they leave and I'm just gobsmacked to be honest.

Aibu to think she should of told me she wasn't coming alone?

Plus one of my DD's has massive anxiety and social problems which my friend knows all about. She really should of told me so I could of warned dd our home was about to be over taken by strangers.

Then again....in my friends house, that's probably normal. She knows sooooo many people, always having gatherings at her house. Where as I am the complete opposite.

It's still in my head now even though it was a few days ago. Cos i just honestly think it's bizzare to not even tell me!

YANBU

Your friend sounds batshit in the nicest way possible though 😂

Bloody hell. She's been incredibly unreasonable. What strange behaviour.

I would have just gone with it for 10 minutes to be honest. Did they much up your carpet though as that is different.

If it was only for ten minutes it's ok. If she'd brought them round to your house for the day that would be BU.

YANBU!

I did go with it, I had no choice in the matter lol. I just had no clue how long hey were all planning on staying etc etc. I think my friend wanted to stay but these other ladies just wanted to go.

I wasn't rude or anything, polite, asked them if they wanted a drink etc etc. But I suppose I couldn't hide looking a bit shocked as I had no idea they were coming.

Lots of mud on the carpet but it's all come out thankfully.

Sorry op but . That's like something out of a comedy script. What did you think when you saw them all staring at you.

On a serious note though. Your friend was way out of line especially when she knows your dd has social anxiety. Plus even taking that away. It's the height of bad manners inviting bloody strangers to your home.

It does sound unusual!

Literal children and literal nights are better than metaphorical ones though so be pleased about that.

I'm sorry op but I'm not convinced this is real. At the beginning of your post you say she messaged you "late last night" to invite you along, implying this all happened today. Then at the end of your post you claim it all happened "a few days ago". You seem confused about when this "invasion" took place which makes me doubt the story

Ooh shock. Good detective work there. !

Why on earth would the op make it up?

It happened at the weekend. Late last night probably equals late the night before.

OP regardless of when this literally happened YANBU i would have been fuming

Omg yes I mean late the night before not late last night! For goodness sake....why on earth would I make this up?! Just a simple mistake. So to correct the post - she messaged me late on the Saturday night - around 9.15 pm to be precise!

She says her friend was going out at the weekend and this happened a few days ago. I assume by ‘late last night’ she meant late the night before.
OP YANBU. I’d have hated that.

Yanbu to think your friend was being a bit of a CF and to ignore the picky fault finders trying to find things wrong in your post.

I don't think your friend gave your DDs anxiety a second thought. Her own amusement and entertainment was all that mattered.

YNBU to think that she should have let you know that she was part of a big group.

But, as she seems to be very extrovert and sociable I think that it was just thoughtlessness rather than CF behaviour. Thank goodness the other women refused a drink so that she didn't have an excuse to hang around for hours with her noisy entourage.

You have to be pretty stupid not to know thay bringing 12 kids and god knows how many people to someones house without warning is ridiculous.
She isnt thoughtless she is selfish and rude. All those kids running around a complete strangers house wtf were the parents thinking? Who lets thier kids run around with muddy shoes in someone's house never mind go upstairs to play in a strangers house!

I suspect it was all about her and how popular she is amd to hell with your dd or your carpets.

You arent Bilbo Baggins by any chance?😉

@Willow2017 😂😂😂 that's what it was like. I'm laughing about it now but I like I said previously, it was just very bizzare - slightly like watching a film lol.

In my head all I was saying as I managed to make my way down the stairs through all the kids was 'who the fuck are you?' But obviously I didn't....and I was all smiles as much as possible lol.

Sat and stuffed my face with the cake I'd bought especially after they left before cleaning the carpet to get the mud out.

I'm glad no one thinks IABU though. I won't stop being friends with this person but I think I can safely say that was a yearly meeting over and done with for the next 12 months lol

OP this is pretty indentifying...

This is a classic case of being British and feeling unable to be impolite even when it’s causing you so much internal angst . My DGM is French and she wouldn’t have had any of this, she would have asked for the rabble to be removed at once- especially from her new carpets.

Really shit of your friend, I suppose you should be grateful the other women didn’t agree on a drink.

Sounds like the other women were just as shocked/unconfortable as you if they declined a drink. It's not like they would have known of the plan either. It sounds more like a 'we can pop and use Kellzs' loo on the way home' type visit.

Yes she should’ve mentioned she wasn’t coming alone.

I would think it was very funny, though, rather than upsetting.

Hopefully your daughter is not still too traumatised.

You were not being unreasonable at all. In fact I would text her and tell her that it was not OK for her to bring all of those people round without asking you first.