To not give DC "desert" foods?

[OhFFSDH]

A mum friend of mine said she thought I was being quite strict with the fact I don't give DC desert foods like baby custards, banoffee purée, etc.

I usually only give my DC (at worst): a biscuit (as we're trying the milk ladder due to allergies), KOKO yoghurts which contain fruit, a few fruit flavoured rice cakes (similar to the Organix type) or puréed fruit. We do BLW so other than that it's whole fruit and only ever a bite of cake on a special occasion.

I've started looking around and noticed a lot of parents do give their children deserts. I know I make choices for my child and all but am I being too strict? Is there a reason for giving children this stuff?

Desert like sand? Or maybe dessert?

How old is your child?
Do what you like, it's up to you.

Ostrich, camel, meerkat?

I think there’s a middle ground to be had. You don’t need to give your DC lots of deserts and sugar but to say “only a bite of cake on special occassions” does sound a bit controlling. Many on here will say “kids don’t need sugar” well no, they don’t need it, that’s true. But there is also nothing wrong in sometimes eating something nice for the pure pleasure of it. I personally think being too controlling over food can cause issues later down the line. Nothing wrong with nice foods in moderation.

Yeah I'd never feed my kid a desert, his tiny tummy probably could only manage a couple of tablespoons. How would I even get it home? Does anyone have any tips on how to properly transport sand?

I don't think it's 'strict', but can't think of any reason anyone would give their baby jars of dessert food. Chocolate pudding for a 6mo?!

It's not like the baby cares. Your friend just feels bad because she's feeling her kid crap.

Prickly pear?

YABU...Sorry I'm struggling with the repeated missing consonant too, but mainly because this is a dreadful stealth boast. You're not wondering if YABU at all, you just wanted to let us all know what a perfect uptight parent you are. Well done you!

How old? If baby then I wouldn't think loads are giving such sweet foods daily?
I never let dd now 5 have sweets / choc/ yogurts aimed at kids until she was about three. I was very strict with her diet.
I hugely regret now as she is the child at a party constantly eating the sweets. She is obsessed with sweets.
I won't be making that mistake with baby dd. I think everything in moderation

Just give him water OP. Too much desert can do harmful things.

Is he, in fact, a camel and you haven’t noticed?

You don’t say how old your DC is?

For me, DS is 2, and is allowed cake, biscuits, chocolate and ice cream, but not “sweets” like haribo.

He has these sorts of things maybe two or three times a week? Plus they have a sponge pudding once a week at nursery after lunch.

For me, it’s all about teaching:

Moderation- he has appropriate portions, and will stop when he’s full

That there are no “bad foods”- I had an eating disorder and still have a weird relationship with food (binge on shit or diet- no in between)- I want him to love nice food- but to love his health most of all

The social element of food- we don’t really have sweet things in the house, unless it’s a pudding for after dinner at the weekend. We go out for cake, and “chat”, or we go to a beautiful park for ice cream and eat it while we walk- like I would with an adult friend. Food is a social experience, and I want him to know that.

To live a life of Joy- these things are (can be!) joyful. His diet is good otherwise, his teeth are brushed twice a day, and he drinks lots of water. There is simple joy in a slice of chocolate cake shared with two forks, or a birthday supper of ice cream and bananas in front of the telly. I think that’s worth an awful lot.

Oh hush. Dessert is what was meant
I didn’t give my first any chocolate until age 2 but my second was way less controlled. There’s dessert and there’s dessert. A yoghurt is different to chocolate sundae with extra sweeties

God if I had a pound for every mother of a youngish baby I’ve heard saying this sort of stuff. I include myself in that to be fair. Toddlerdom is the great leveller though - it’s almost like they get opinions of their own or something....

I totally understand OP

tbh it's probably because my mum was big on sugar and chocolate etc and apparently I was the baby who had their first taste of it and looked at all other food with disgust for days after My dad didn't intervene although when I was a fat kid, he claimed he'd been worried all along eye roll

I actually remember struggling to control my sweet tooth from about age 6 so didn't want DC to be in same position. Better to have very rarely and think "that's way too sweet".

I suppose there's an argument that if you have a sweet tooth, it might find you eventually but hopefully when you are better placed to cope. That seems way better than getting used to it as a tiny tot and thinking it's part of a normal day's tastes.

@Prestonsflowers @IKnowItsTIMHONKSTIMHONKS

You win the internet today

@TheSheepofWallSt What a lovely post. I completely agree.

@peachgreen

I don’t think mine is a popular view generally, and possibly slightly old fashioned (especially amongst my peers- I’m “a millennial” and we’re all between 25 and 35 and on our first babies... I’m one of the few allowing refined sugar) ... but we’re happy!

pp mentioned age

OP said BLW so I went from that

I do have a lot of rants about food as a "social experience" but that's a whole separate thread

My DSis has always been very strict about sugar, sweet things, pudding etc. I’m generally laid back about food. Her eyes nearly burst out of her head when on a day trip a little while back and we took the kids out ice cream. Mine both wanted ice lollies rather than ice cream, neither of them finished them, they got bored and chucked them in the bin after a couple of bites as they’d rather carry on playing.

Hers went for the OTT multi scoop ice creams, sprinkles, sauce, sweets on top etc etc and ate the lot - then felt sick most of the afternoon. For just the once, I felt I’d done a better parenting job than my perfect DSis and her perfect family

I was like this with my first, then I had a second...

@TheSheepofWallSt I'm the same age and have a 6 month old DD. I'm lucky enough to be in a great FB antenatal group where everyone in general is a lot more realistic, and I suspect most of them would agree with you too!

If my daughter grows up eating when she's hungry, stopping when she's full, listening to her body to figure out what she needs and allowing herself to enjoy food and the experience of eating without guilt or shame, I'll be a happy woman.

@baristagirl

I thank you

@edwinbear

Funny isn’t it... DS has been known to reject a slice of cake in favour of my leftover olives and cheese ... i promise I didn’t push them on him to win Mumsnet bingo!

Ha, wait till you've got three of the Fuckers and there's only 20 minutes between dance and football. You'll be throwing happy meals behind you into the back seat of the car before you know it.