To not be grateful?

[Thatlifewelead]

This is going to sound awful.

My Mum loves going on holiday and my Dad won't go so she takes me and my children. This has been amazing for the kids it really has and they have had some lovely holidays as a result as have I. My Mum pays for the holiday.

So far so lovely however it causes major problems for me.
I am a single Mum with no financial support. I work but on a low income and since a change in work I am truly living pay cheque to pay cheque. My Mum knows this and often lends me money (which I pay back) or buys us some shopping.

Going on holiday presents a nightmare. She gives me 'time to save up' but what if you don't have money to save!

Accommodation and travel is paid but that's still a week of take out meals, treats for the kids and we have a dog so the kennels is over £100 alone. My Mum can't walk far so what we would usually walk to save money we will need at least £30 for bus fares for the week.

I currently have £147 in my bank account for the kennels and holiday which is not enough and hoping to God my tax credits go in the day we go on holiday.

I am meanwhile low on credit with the electric meter (pre pay was in when we moved in) , have no bread or milk or juice or potatoes and will have to spend some of the above to get some.

I've tried explaining and she just says don't worry I will sub you. I've tried suggesting the kids go and I stay home (they are teens) but she's not been well and not confident at taking them alone.

I have anxiety and depression and this is just another added worry.
I'm torn because if I put my foot down and say no everyone misses out including my Mum who won't go alone.

It is just making me so utterly unhappy :(

I'd talk to her. She's already offered to sub you. Tell her you really can't afford kennels and expensive food and neither can you afford to pay her back if you borrow off her. Tell her you really want to go away with her but you just can't afford all the extras. See what she says.

It sounds as if your mum really wants you to go and isn't bothered so much about paying. Could you go, have a fab holiday and then take some means to pay her back asap? For food and/or kennels? Part time work, selling something (s), moving, more hours at work etc etc? Can someone else have the dog?

Another one saying you need a frank discussion with your mum. As this one is already booked and I am assuming that the children are looking forward to it then you may have to tell her that this is the last one and even then you will have to make compromises. Cheap home cooked meals. Look online for meal deals/vouchers.

As its only a week, can a friend or neighbour look after the dog? As the poster above said 'can your dad look and you ask a favour or pay one of his neighbours to walk the dog. Do you have any siblings? Can they help with the expenses as it ensures that your mum gets away.

Oh OP I really feel for you. We had a similar situation earlier this year when a very wealthy aunt paid for a villa for the whole family to go on holiday and offered to pay for our flights. It was hard to explain that the cost of kennels for two dogs, insurance (DS is very expensive to insure for overseas travel), food etc would just be too much.

That said, if your mum wants to give you the money to enable you to g then accept it with good grace. I imagine she sees it as your money in the future that she would rather see out enjoy than the tax man take a chunk off in the future.

Yes Guardsman18 that was an issue last year. The hotel and flights were paid for as was breakfast but i still had to find summer clothes, sandals, costumes etc none of which we had (dc are growing like bloody bean sprouts at the moment!) and holiday insurance which was a fortune due to medical conditions.
Then money for meals out, ice cream etc while there.

This year is UK so I'm just taking their normal clothes. If my tax credits go in as planned I would JUST be able to afford but would have no spare when we come back until work paid me plus its back to school too!

The dog would be happy in the garden with no walks for a week but she could make him fall in the house (she gets under feet!)

Have you any friends or other family that could take the dog at all?

Is there any chance the hotel is dog-friendly?

That's something that might help actually. Maybe too late this year, but next time you all go on a UK holiday, is there somewhere you can take the dog - eg cottage, lodge or caravan in coastal or countryside area.

You said she is comfortable - can your mum afford to give you the money? As a gift, not a loan. If she can, accept it. Sounds like it would make her happy, and it's her money to spend right? She could spend it having a luxury holiday for one, or this holiday for all of you. Tell her honestly which bills need covering by her - it might be the dog, hotel and all food.