AIBU to be pissed off they chose this child?

[TrappedByATurtle]

For two years bar the last 4 months, DS(8) has had ongoing issues with a particular child at school, being punched, kicked, called names, told he's stupid, encouraging the rest of the class to gang up on him, refuse to let him play at break times etc etc etc.

DD has just started school. Each new child is given a godparent out of the older children in the (mixed) class. AIBU to be really pissed off that, out of all the older children in the class, they picked this boy's sister to be DD's godmother.

I know I probably am. But I need to hear it from someone else. Even if they become friends and this girl is really nice, I can hardly invite her over or try to [hollow laugh] become friendly with the family.

im not sure i would worry so much about the girl as i would be dealing with the bullying issue that the school obviously isnt sorting out, i would be in there every fucken day, i would tell them until sorted out to your satisfaction i will be writing at each and every instance to what ever education authority i could find, including education ministers and that if they choose to ignore the bullying behavior that my only choice is to attend class with my child until the situation is sorted out and my child is safe and if i see any physical contact from the bully to my child ill by pass the school and press formal charges of assault and some sort of neglect for the school and teachers

It seems to be sorted now. They had a stand-in teacher for 3 months who also had a DS in the class. She was horrified when she found out about it. And because (I assume) she's not trained as a class teacher, rather than throwing the boys together so he could continue tormenting DS she asked me "what can I do?"
She took to heart my hissed "keep him away from DS" and separated them as much as possible. It seems it was enough to get him out of the habit of picking on DS. And so far (all three days of it!) nothing has happened this term. The boy is now in another class so hopefully that's it.

DD told me in confidence that she can do a great "hi-yak" (seems to be the in word for karate kick) and as she's now in proper school can keep an eye on DS at break time in case nasty boy comes near him...

My son was in a mixed year class (son yr 3/bully yr 4). After 1 day of bullying I told the teacher next morning that I'd not put up with 1 more day of it. It gets sorted today, or I would remove son from the school. Teacher dealt with it immediately by speaking to the boy together with the head of year, and not one incident from that day on. Teacher was a good one though.

Sounds fine to me. I initially read it as the bully who was the godparent (which, yes, VERY weird term to use), which would not be okay, but his sister, why not? I think you're being pretty unreasonable, tbh.

I'm sorry your son's having such a bad time with this child. In the hope that you will worry about your dd a bit less, my dd has a very good friend who is utterly lovely, the sweetest and kindest child, but her brother is a horror. The parents are really nice too. Now, dd is 19 and so we have known the family for quite a few years. There is no explanation for the boys' appalling behaviour (he is just as horrible at home, too, and nothing the parents have done has been effective. There is no sn to explain it).

So don't' judge one child by the behaviour of another, or indeed the family. It could be that your dd's godmother and her parents are really nice people, but for some reason the son is not.

I would spend most of my energy trying to sort out my son's difficulties.

You need to tell the school what the boy's mother said. The girl may be absolutely fine, but her mother's attitude about her son's bullying of your DS would concern me. Who knows what she's told her daughter.

Don’t tar them with the same brush!! My friend is wonderful person her sister is a drug addict..

This whole 'godparent' thing sounds like some sort of weird travesty. I’d want to know a lot more about it before I opted a child into such a project.

TBH, nothing surprises me any more when it comes to schools and their approach to bullying. It is a systemic inevitability in schools, which they are ill-equipped to prevent or eradicate. All they can do, at best, is to 'manage' bullying, and they’ll do just about anything that looks like they’re doing something about it.

I’d want to know a lot more about it before I opted a child into such a project.
I very much doubt anyone was asked!

Yes, their approach to bullying was to get my (ASD) child to have discussion with the bully, to throw them together to do work in pairs, make sure they were sitting next to each other, having some more chats together etc. It would seem that at no point during the first year did they inform the parents. Anyway, that's not the point here. It does seem a slap in the face though. They could, for example, have acknowledged the problem between DS and brother and explained why they are pairing my DD with the girl. Or at least given us a warning.