to wonder how I can fix my life.

[darkriver198868]

I turn 30 in a couple of days and seem to having some life crisis. (joking but feels like that anyway.)

I lost my children this year (they have been adopted) and have been unemployed due to ill health for almost 10 years. I have complex mental health problems that I am slowly chipping away at but, I am sick of my health holding me back.

Everytime I make 1 step forward I seem to get knocked back about six.

I have very little support outside 3 friends I see on a semi regular basis.

I feel so lonely and miserable.

That sounds really tough, but you must be a strong person to get through every thing you have.
I know it's hard to keep hope when things are overwhelming but please try to remember your achievements and steps forward , rather than the steps back.

Do you know what is it you would like to see yourself doing in 5 years? I’m guessing stable mental health and a job?

@SisterNotCisTerf Stable mental health, full time job and with any hope being able to be a mum again. (I was never a bad mum just an unwell one) but it feels next to impossible.

Ok so mental health would be my priority in your shoes. Getting that sorted is key in order for you to maintain a job, home and relationship.

What’s happening with your mental health right now?

I think if you are feeling like that it is easy to get overwhelmed. I would start small.

First step is to check you are practicsing basic self care. Are you eating healthily? Going to bed at a reasonable time? getting enough sleep? Doing a bit of exercise? Not using alcohol as a crutch? Or abusing reactional drugs?

If you aren't doing all these things, in each area try to make one small improvement. Subsitute your takeaway for a salad, Go to bed a hour earlier than normal.

Small steps.

Then once you have got self care sorted, look at other things that make you unhappy - you mention friends and feeling lonely.

Look for ways to improve that. Try to see your exsiting friends more regularly. Meet new people through activities - a regular volunteering slot or a a class.

Have you posted before?

It's sad your children have been adopted, but it now gives you time to look after yourself, knowing they will be doing well.

Work on one thing at a time though!

@Pink I dont take drugs or alchol. I am not looking after myself very well. I am keeping my flat tidy but I am neglecting myself. I was meant to start volunteering yesterday but it feel through.

@Neshoma yes I have posted before.

I find sleep is the key to my own mental health stability. I really struggle to get enough sleep and it impacts absolutely everything. TBH I’ve just decided today that I need to focus solely on retraining my sleep habits before I can even think about other areas. I know that’s the secret. Do you get good quality sleep most nights?