Sex addiction? Or self indulgence?

[longwayoff]

Which is it? Is sex addiction a real thing or is it simply exploiting all opportunities that offer?

My ex had a sex addiction. In his case it seemed to be a complex mix of abandonment issues, entitlement, poor impulse control, and the desire for control.
I don't think he's ever been in love, or loved anyone other than himself. I'm not sure he even really enjoys the sex.

Thats interesting upstart and would make sense I guess. I think I've been too restrictive in interpreting what sex addiction could entail. So not just simple opportunistic promiscuity then.

In some cases it is linked to a mental illness such as bipolar. I had an ex years ago with bipolar type 2 and he was majorly addicted to sex to an extent he admitted he would never be able to be faithful to me and that it killed him inside, I ended it. He also admitted he struggled to feel ‘normal’ feelings like love...

You’ll find with any addiction it’s not just the one. So my eldest brother has an addictive personality and has struggled with drug addiction in the past. Sex is huge on his agenda. He’s currently in the throws of drug addiction- not even battling it but embracing it, it’s terrible. But my other brother and I were talking about eldest brother’s sexual side of things which is all part of his addiction as a whole.
It’s very complex and SO not about ‘I want to stick my nob into everything that moves because I’m a horn dog.’ Well, maybe a bit but it’s more complicated and darker than that. Sex addicts are very mixed up individuals with complex back stories.
That being said, there are promiscuous people who throw around the term ‘sex addict’ but that’s not what they are.

Charlie Sheen is a good example of what good bedfellows drug and sex addiction make.

Sorry, it’s ‘in the throes’ not throws.

If you think about it, addictions are based on the high/Adrenaline you get when you do it - so anything that produces a good feeling - drugs, drink, food, etc - sex is no different so i agree it exists. The problem is as addictions escalate the person has to do more to get that high - drink more, move onto harder drugs etc - or in the case of a sex addict, possibly move onto more risky or sexually adventurous activity to get that same rush.

I do believe it’s real, but some people might claim they have it to avoid blame for their infidelity. However for real sex addicts it is incredibly difficult and upsetting.

So is it more of a compulsion than an addiction? Actually thats not a good question is it. I'm only familiar with substance addicts but thinking about that further, chasing up an adequate supply of your drug of choice and the means to pay for it is an all consuming compulsion too. Hmm. I asked the question as 'sex addiction' is often shoehorned into an explanation for x's marriage falling apart and I've always been quite cynical about it's reality. It does, however, make sense that it might well be part of complex long-existing difficulties and therefore a reality. Thank you.