To be annoyed I’m having to fight so hard to have an elective caesarean?

[OutPinked]

Basically, after three 10lb babies, my uterus has understandably lost its tone. I am 28 weeks with my fourth and final baby but measuring 32 weeks. I’ve been referred for a growth scan which will be utterly pointless as they always are. They’ll confirm he’s a big baby then do nothing with that information because there’s not really much they can do. Passed GTT with flying colours and I’m not obese, it’s just genetics.

First delivery was shoulder dystocia with emergency forceps and an extended episiotomy. Stitches burst open and became infected, I was in agony for weeks. Second delivery was retained placenta and huge PPH, again I was rushed down to theatre then later given two blood transfusions. It still took me weeks to recover and feel human again. Third delivery went ok but I needed an injection to stem the bleed.

Last year I had medical management for a missed miscarriage. Had a massive haemmorhage, went into shock, fell unconscious and needed emergency surgery+ a blood transfusion. Again, it took me weeks to feel human and I was on iron tablets for months.

DP can’t face the trauma of seeing me nearly die again and I can’t face the trauma of doctors piling in from all angles, jumping on top of me and being rushed down to theatre either. We’ve both decided an elective caesarean is safest. There’s no risk to future pregnancies because there won’t be any. If I do start to haemorrhage again, at least I’m already in theatre surrounded by medics who will immediately be on top of it.
It just seems far more calm and controlled and to me, is an absolute no brainer.

However, I have now seen two consultants who have tried their upmost to deter me. I’ve had almost pointless risk factors thrown in my face (pointless because there’s more chance of dying in a car accident but that won’t stop me driving). I’ve been told that I may bleed more after a CS and when I’ve explained the fact its still safer than risking that blood loss after a ‘natural’ delivery they shoot me down by saying they will still be on hand if it happens after a natural delivery. They don’t seem to grasp that I don’t want them to have to rush in from all angles, I want them to just be there from the off. They also try to deter me by mentioning recovery time forgetting how long it took me to recover after my first and second deliveries as well as the MMC last year.

After yesterday’s consultant appointment, I now have to see an ‘expert midwife’ to ‘discuss birth options’ . Seems ridiculously patronising because my mind is evidently made up but it’s just another hoop to jump through... then I will have to see the consultant again if it’s still what I want (it will be). Argh! To me, it’s just another example of women not being trusted to make the right decision for their own body and I’m tired of it. It’s irritating they reserve so much energy to warn women of risk factors during a caesarean but never ever warn them of what can go wrong during a ‘natural delivery’ too.

We should have to go private for ELCS? Why?!

@outpinked for what it’s worth I think you’ve made a very sensible and informed decision and I’d be very angry with a consultant trying to deter me if I were you!

I’m just pregnant with my 9th baby and have had an emcs (1st delivery), a forceps and along the way a mmc (waited for natural mc and haemorrhaged) know how that feels also! I’ve delivered since then too but none of my babies have been as big as yours but I’m considering my options for this delivery also!

Stick to your guns and if necessary ask to be referred to a more sympathetic consultant! Lots of luck!!

OutPinked I was all set to try and talk you out of a c section but oh my goodness I've never heard such a valid case for a planned section!

Ive had an emcs with dc1, VBAC with dc2 and 3, retained placenta with dc2, nearly died along with my baby due to a near scar rupture with dc3 and told not to have more babies. And that doesn't come close to your situation. I suppose my point is I've had to recover from all sorts of births so I get it but even though a VBAC was easier to recover from I still think you're right to push for a section. Good luck getting what you need.

StarfishSandwich

I was fully prepared to say YABU because some people just seem to think of an LSCS as the easy option but given your history I would have thought that it was guaranteed so no YANBU at all.

same

I have a friend who had a very problematic pregnancy- twins - aged 45, and unbelievably they wouldn’t let her plan for an elective c section, despite the fact that she practically begged for one. When she went into labour at 7 months and had to be rushed into hospital where she haemorrhaged pints in the corridor she was lucky to get away with her life... and it was a long hard road to recovery for her and the babies.

I’d put my foot down for an elective c section OP, good luck

@lillabet yes I promise you. And not in the dark ages 2014. I’m not paraphrasing the whole tirade- I could but I haven’t got the strength. That bit is a direct quote though.

@lillabet & lookslikeimstuckhere. OP has made a decision which is against the advice of a very qualified consultant. Yes it’s her choice, which I agree she has the right to make. But yes I believe she should go private. C sections cost the NHS double the amount of a normal delivery. People tend to self diagnose or chose a c section out of fear. A c section is complicated, recovery is not easy. If the doctors advised she had a c section then fine, but this is a choice she is making when a normal delivery is an absolutely appropriate option, as advised by her doctors.

Ekkkkk! Now I'm worried! After having to have an induction, very problematic labour, weird reactions to drugs due to a history of brain injuries before finally having to have an emergency c-section...

While in recovery we were told any future births would need to be c-section as it was too risky otherwise (I do not remember any of it due to the weird drug reaction even to gas and air). Since then I've had my gallbladder removed due to chronic acute attacks and my appendix exploding almost killing me... After both of those surgeries it was confirmed again I would need to go down the c-section route for my best chance of survival.

Just gone for my first appointment for second one and was told I'd have to go to a "birth options consultant"... Does this mean that they are going to try and force me to go vbac despite me and baby almost dying because we tried that route last time (apparently she was never going to come out that way a live...)

Oh crap.

*Londoner All I can say is that I’m glad the NHS doesn’t agree with you.

Not all cases are as simple as you make out.

it’s probably more to do with money
as it costs about 25.000

@lookslikeimstuckhere clearly they do, hence the reason they deter 😂
If every woman chose an elective c section then I’m sure you’d be complaining how terrible the NHS is and how strained it is.

Me and my baby nearly died in my first birthing experience. I had the same complications as my Mum and her Mum. I tried to get ELCS second time and couldn't. My second birthing experience was just as bad and I regret not having ELCS.
On the other hand, my Sis in law asked for a ELCS because she has anxiety about giving birth (don't we all?) and no medical reason. She got her ELCS and breezed through the whole birth and recovery.

Lilly in your case it’s very likely that the birth options clinic will be a formality. Lots of NHS trusts make you go to them whatever the ‘reason’. Take someone with you who is a good advocate just in case but try not to lose too much sleep over it.

In my case the birth options clinic was actually nowhere near as bad as the appointments before it got to that point!

FWIW for the ‘against consultants advice’ posters upthread. Three midwifes including a consultant supervisor of midwives strongly advised a CS in my case before the lady who thought I owed my husband a vaginal delivery got involved! It’s never as simple and for or against medical advice- they all have different opinions and priorities!

You poor thing. And they wonder why women suffer from PND. I have no advice but can only say that you sound extremely well informed and like you just want what is best for you and your baby. So sorry you're going through this best of luck and I hope you get your c section.

Also each individual case is different. I’m not saying this should be the case for all. But we need to remember OP was probably advised by various midwives and TWO CONSULTANTS. Two! Consultants! Highly qualified in their area. Delivered many babies, the majority under emergency conditions and I think I have to put my trust in the NHS on this one.

Another first ever for Londonerlove

Of course mumsnet threaders are more informed about childbirth than a doctor. I do apologise.

nanny ELCS costs nhs £3.5 K not £25K
Vaginal delivery considerably less. They didn't save much on me as I had so many epidural top ups.

But you're not having the baby, are you, Londoner?

@bluelady and you’re not a doctor are you?

C sections cost the NHS double the amount of a normal delivery

Actually it’s about the same when you take into costs of vag birth gone wrong.

And my recovery was easy.

@bluelady you make the assumption I haven’t been through a similar situation with somebody extremely close. Consultants advised against and she went private.

If if if. That’s the issue. So many ifs. If the NHS worked on ifs we wouldn’t have one.

@OutPinked contact birthrights-they are amazing. Also Pauline Hull -she campaigns for elective sections. They may both be able to help you.

As for cost -the difference according to the nice guidance documents comparing planned v birth and elective c sections, when taking into account the cost of associated adverse outcomes the difference between the two modes of birth is £84. And I quote, from the nice guidance "maternal request Caesarean section could be considered a cost-effective alternative to planned vaginal birth"

I personally believe there should be risks of both vaginal and c section births listed clearly, alongside potential adverse outcomes. Only then will women be able to make a truly informed decision.

There is a comparison chart of risk of planned section v planned v birth on the cg132 nice guidance if you need it.

You've made your decision. Stick to it. Your body, your baby, your choice X

Perfect. But OP hasn't got that option and shouldn't have to pay £££ for something she's entitled to on the NHS - which she pays for. You're making it sound as if she wants to give birth on a unicorn's back attended by elves.

Another if.