DH's night terrors

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I think DH is suffering from violent night terrors very intermittently.

We had one close call a couple of years ago where he said he was physically reaching over to strangle me (dreaming I was an enemy of his) but fortunately woke up at the last minute and realised it was me.

We had one incident a few months ago where I woke to him kicking me and then yelling at the intruders he was dreaming about over his shoulder. Fortunately I had a pregnancy pillow which absorbed the shocks so I was worried but unhurt.

This morning I am pretty sure that I was having a dream in which DH didn't feature, woke to hear DH saying "Get out of my life! Get out of my life!", opened my eyes and then he punched me in the eye. Not massively hard but it still hurt. He insists I must have dreamt him saying that and he was just reaching out to touch me and accidentally poked me in the eye. He doesn't have any memory of saying "Get out of my life!" or weird dreams last night.

I want him to seek medical help for his sleep problems (he has insomnia and I think he might have apnoea anyway) but he's so far this morning refusing to do so because he thinks that this incident wasn't a sleep terror. AIBU to insist he sees the GP? He says he can't honestly say to the GP he had a violent sleep terror this morning but he's definitely had them before (we had guests who heard him shouting on the night of the kicking) even if there is a debate about this morning, and he has sleep problems anyway which he really ought to get checked out.

I'm not sure what to do about sleeping arrangements too. I hate the thought of sleeping in a different room but I'm 7 months pregnant at the moment and a bit worried.

I'm sorry you are both going through this. However I think you need to go tough love a little. Explain you are worried about his health but equally worried about your (and unborn child) safety and until he gets it checked out you will sleep in the spare room.

What do you think is behind his reluctance to go? Is there any trauma for his past?

Sending hugs, but please do prioritise your safety while you deal with this..

Thanks KM99. No trauma in his past. I think he's just reluctant to go because A) he hates going to the GP anyway and thinks they're useless and B) I think he genuinely doesn't think this morning's incident was a sleep terror so will feel silly, but I think he needs help.

It just seems difficult this time because he is so sure that he didn't hit me and I am so sure that he did. So if I do anything he will think I am overreacting, but I am thinking I should probably sleep in the spare bed for a bit.

The GP's phone lines open in a minute so I think I'll book him an appointment and try to convince him when he gets back from work to go.

Urgh. I got an appointment for him tomorrow but then he's texted me to see if we could accept a delivery around the same time so I had to tell him via text about the appointment in case he wants me to go with him. He's texted to say that he'll sleep in the spare room but won't go to the doctors. He's worried social services might get involved if he says he's been hitting his pregnant wife even if it's in his sleep.

I just want him to go and try and sort out his other sleep problems even if he doesn't tell them about the hitting for now. He sleeps so badly and from what I can see online these kind of sleep issues can be interconnected. I just don't know what to do. He's agreed we can talk about it later. I just feel so upset and sick.

SS won't get involved but I guess you can't reassure him of that.

He really should see the GP and he should be more worried about you being hurt than he is.

If you do need to show him, you can get a sleep app on your phone that records everything. I had one to help me log my sleep and it recorded ex snoring and talking in his sleep, which was funny because he maintained he never did either. I think it was called sleepbot.

I get night terrors, not violent as far as I know, but I do remember them. I did once wake up just about to punch an ex in the face, but this was because we had a discussion about how him grinding his teeth woke me up and was really annoying and he said 'just punch me or something', jokingly - turns out I am super suggestive to things in my subconscious!

I think with a baby on the way you need to tell him he has to do this (see the GP) for the good of the whole family.

My DP has these. We have a huge Super king bed and sleep with a booster down the middle however he just kicks and insults, I think strangling and punching would be more than I could handle in a double bed

Keep the appointment by yourself. Your DH is prepared to sleep in the spare room rather than deal with his night terrors, and you need support.